I stumbled out of the wings, squinting in the bright light and tripping over a chair. The presenter directed a cheesy grin at the camera as he waved me to the seat next to him.

"Our next contestant is Bella! She's sweet, pretty and a little bit klutzy, according to my source." No prizes for guessing whom that source might be. As the presenter rambled on, I studied the three black screens next to me whilst I considered my options. Going out with Jacob would be a bit awkward, thanks to the whole Renesme thing. Jasper would sit through our entire date looking pained, and I'd keep thinking I smelt or something. And Emmett… why am I even wasting my thoughts on him?

The presenter turned to me. " So Bella, what do you look for in a man?"

" She likes a man who can kill her!" shouted someone from behind screen 1. Emmett.

" So you're a feisty girl, eh Bella?" chucked the stupid presenter. "Well let's see if any of our contestants can live up to your 'needs'. Fire away Bella"

"Um…uh…" I had prepared loads of questions before, but now I drew a blank." Um… what do you like to eat for breakfast?" I asked weakly.

Candidate 1: "YOU!"

That would be Emmett then.

Candidate 2: "Something fresh and warm."

Probably Jasper.

Candidate 3: "A nice rare steak."

Definitely Jacob.

Question 4: which member of Friends are you most like?

Candidate 1: "Rachel! I've got the hair for it."

Oh god. Mental image.

Candidate 2: "Ross, because we share common values on life."

What, like dinosaurs? No, he's like Ross because he's good at the walking into a room thing, saying hi and making everyone want to kill themselves. Except for with him it's his expression.

Candidate 3: "Joey, because I'm good looking, funny and caring."

You mean you're dopey with an enormous ego.

Question 10: Where would you propose to someone?

Candidate 1: "In the back of my Jeep"

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Candidate 2: "By the lake, as the sun is setting."

Ooh, Jasper has a romantic side.

Candidate 3: "In the middle of the woods at full moon."

What, are you like trying to remind her you're not really a werewolf, just a shapeshifter, and you don't phase when it's the full moon?

" O.K Bella, you're ten questions are up! It's time to choose your blind date."

(Drum roll)

Well. Emmett's out of the question. Jacob's been annoying me a bit, so I suppose I'll choose Jasper. He'll be tolerable. So that's why Alice has been so cold around me lately…

"I choose candidate number 2."

" And your blind date is… Emmett!"

WHAAT!!! I must have screamed that out loud, because everyone started laughing. Emmett put his arm around me and grinned in his psychopathic way.

"You…You…You switched places!" it was the only logical explanation.

"Maybe I did," said Emmett, leaning towards me. "Or maybe you just subconsciously love me."

He definitely switched places.

"And now we'll wave goodbye to our new couple, who'll be enjoying a romantic date this Friday" said the presenter. "Let us know if any sparks fly!"

"Oh, believe me," said Emmett as he led me of." They will."

I stepped out of my room in an old sweatshirt, jeans and trainers.

"Wow" said Emmett." You look hot."

" Let's get this over with" I responded, climbing into his jeep. Then I noticed his shoes." Emmett. "I said slowly. "Why are you wearing blue and pink stripy wellies."

" My wellies are bringing sexy back" he sung. I looked at him. He continued. "And the other wellies just don't know how to act."

" Shut up."

"I'm too sexy for my wellies."

" Shut up."

" SEXALICIOUS!!!"

Oh dear god.

" So where are we actually going?" I asked Emmett, trying to distract him.

" Ah one of the great mysteries of the universe. Where are we going? Where did we come from? You will only find out at the end."

" The end being tonight?"

"Depends."

He drove in silence, and apart from the odd "sexalicous wellies" comment. I made no attempt at conversation; he was in one of his annoying moods. After about half an hour of driving, he parked the Jeep. I peered around. We were in the middle of woods I didn't recognise, by a lake.

" Full moon tonight" he commented expressionlessly. I looked up at the sky. Wow. Emmett had said something a. true and b. not completely ridiculous and random. I was so busy pondering this that I didn't notice him leading me to the back of his jeep. I sat down, oblivious to what was going on. Emmett reached into his pocket, and pulled out a packet of haribos, and reached inside it. He then stood up, with an evil smile.

" Bella." he said. "I want to ask you something." He very slowly got down on one knee, and took out a haribo ring. "Will you marry me?"

WHAT THE HELL!!! I thought.

" WHAT THE HELL" I screamed. And then ran. For my life.

A/N: The sexalicious wellies are attributed to my friend Jess, who writes as twilightxharrypotter