A/N: This is angst. Just a warning.
„Where did they take her?" he ran towards the closing doors trying to reach them before they shut completely. Failing to do so he hit them with his fists "Let me in there" he yelled but nothing happened, no one came to talk to him so he sank to the floor in defeat – hoping, praying, crying.
„Did the pizza already get here?" Jane poked her head around the corner to find Patterson still standing in front of one of her computers. The blonde one simply shook her head with a pout "Sorry. But I'm almost done and we can make an early break."
"Yeah, right" Tasha scoffed from one of the swivel chairs, swirling around to meet Jane's eyes just then with a side glance to her other friend "She's said that like 15 minutes ago and I'm still here sitting here, turning until I hopefully manage to forget the ever growing hunger that's about to consume my entire being."
Jane laughed "You might be a little melodramatic here."
With a deadpan look in her eyes the Latina shook her head very very slowly "Absolutely no" she said "This is not Tasha talking. Not anymore."
"Oh! You suck!" Patterson exclaimed putting her tablet down in frustration "Fine. Let's go to the break room. But the pizza is not here yet."
Getting up Tasha clutched her belly dramatically and let Jane half carry her towards the break room to emphasize her famine "At least take my mind off of that pizza guy that is probably making a lot of unnecessary breaks on his way here."
"Or he hit the traffic jam because it's lunch time" Jane grinned at her friend when they entered the conference room they had made their unofficial break room. They came together for lunch whenever they had the time, especially on Wednesday's when they always ordered from all kinds of delivery services – today they had decided on pizza and where now waiting for the guy from Domino's.
"This would never have happened if we had just gone with Joe's Pizza!" Tasha complained dropping down on one of the chairs "They're always on time."
Patterson had just followed them and heard the last sentence "That's not true. Remember last month? They were the worst. Also we had coupons for Domino's" she shrugged plopping down next to her friend pulling out a newspaper from her back with her bottle of water.
Tasha stared at her and the blonde frowned back "What?"
"You're reading newspaper? Like on paper?" she asked incredulously "Isn't that a little… analog?"
"Well. Yes. But I like my crosswords on paper so.." she made a dismissive motion with her hand before returning her focus back to the paper in front of her.
"So you'll just sink into the world of yours and let me starve to death without emotional support? That's really nice of you."
"You've got Jane" Patterson replied without looking up, just having found the first 7 letter word.
Jane looked up from her phone at the mention of her name and frowned at the two of them "What's with me?"
"Yeah. Nothing" Tasha mumbled to herself crossing her arms in front of her chest "I've got nothing. Except for hunger."
Sighing Patterson looked up "You want to be entertained?"
"Didn't I just say that?" Tasha rolled her eyes "Yes. I want to be entertained to increase my chances of survival until that damned delivery guy finally comes through."
"Okay then…" the blonde flipped through the pages for a bit until she settled on the thing she had been looking for, grinning up at her friend "What's your zodiac sign?"
"Seriously?"
"Do you want to be entertained or not?"
"Fine. But I'm hurt you don't know my zodiac sign."
"I do" Patterson smirked "I just thought it would sound a little creepy that I know all of your personal data by heart."
"Wait. What personal-" Tasha started only to be interrupted.
"So, let me see where we have our Leo" she skimmed the page quickly "Ready?"
"Shock me" Tasha gave back, leaning back in her chair and waiting for her horoscope. Even Jane had put her phone away and watched the two women in amusement, not quite sure what a Zodiac sign even was.
"This his amazing" Patterson giggled before she even started reading "All of a sudden - with the emphasis on sudden" she gave both Tasha and Jane the look to underline the statement "you're thinking about a long-term thing" Jane fake gasped and earned a blow to her shoulder from Tasha "It's not your style-"
"Duh" Zapata laughed.
Patterson simply kept going "-and no one who knows you will believe it for a second."
"Of course not" Jane rolled her eyes "Because we know her."
"Shush everyone, it gets better… You, however, are believing it - so much so that you're getting all wrapped up in trying to decide between blissful freedom and even more blissful companionship."
"There's not even a question there" Tasha threw in.
"Well, here's a tip: If you've found the right one, you'll have both. Better interview the prospective candidate more carefully." She finished and then added "Also, let us interview the prospective candidate more carefully"
Jane tried to keep herself from giggling but failed miserably "That's so cute, Tash. You should introduce you to your prospective candidate."
"Harhar" Tasha glared at her "If I should ever meet a prospective candidate you will never meet him because you're just gonna drive him away."
"Well, at least Jane has a prospective candidate" Patterson snickered and earned her very own glare from Jane.
"I do not have a prospective candidate for anything" she objected forcefully but with a small smile on her lips.
"Whatever makes you sleep at night" Patterson grinned "So, Capricorn next, Jane?"
"Am I a Capricorn?" she wanted to know, tugging away a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Yeah. Tell us all about her prospective candidate!" Tasha quipped in, tugging her knees to her chest, her hunger forgotten for the moment.
Patterson shook her head in amusement at the other women but started reading anyway "Today you have the potential to rule your world."
"Hey! That sounds better than mine!" Zapata exclaimed with a pout "I want to rule the world instead of having a prospective candidate."
"Well, we can't all be this awesome" Jane laughed before motioning to Patterson "Please, go on."
"But be careful because sometimes pressing ahead to sacrifice yourself for your loved ones may put you in positions you will not be able to get out of that easily" the blonde looked up "That does sound scarily familiar."
Jane rolled her eyes "I think you can interpret that in about a million different way, just so this will fit all … Capricorns."
"Well, but you do get a tip so just in case… you might wanna listen now" Patterson said before reading the last part "Act quickly, but without undue haste. I know, it sounds like a paradox, but trust me - this advice will save you a lot of trouble."
"Thanks. For nothing, really" Jane mocked and Tasha went to take the newspaper from her friend.
"You're ready to hear your horoscope now, Gemini?"
"When you really want to believe someone, you'll go as far out of your way as possible to do just that. If a family member comes to you now with a story that some might find bizarre, you'll still give them the benefit of the doubt and do what you can to help. Just this once, though, you might want to have someone go over the details with you. Truth may be stranger than fiction, but an unbiased third party will be able to tell you if it really is all that strange."
"That sounds… interesting" Jane frowned at the newspaper.
Patterson stared at both of them "I really hope my brother isn't out doing out some weird shit and then comes to me to complain about it. Like this one time with the llama in Las Vegas-"
"Pizza!" Tasha and Jane exclaimed in unison when both Kurt and Reade walked through the door with a stack of pizzas in their hands.
They all settled down, finding their designated cartons and Tasha already had the half of her first piece in her mouth when Reade spoke up "I'm still curious about that llama in Las Vegas."
Patterson almost choked on her piece of pizza and shook her head once she had finished and swallowed the bite "Trust me you do not wanna know. But I'm more worried about what my brother is going to be doing today."
Kurt frowned at her, his first slice still in his hand untouched "What is he supposed to be doing today?"
Jane laughed, clearing it up for him when Tasha and Patterson seemed to be too concentrated on their food "We read our horoscopes and Patterson is now worried that a family member will tell her some obscure news" she told him "Also Tasha wants to settle down but we haven't found the right prospective candidate yet."
Now it was Reade's turn to almost choke on his pizza. After finishing coughing he fully laughed "I'm sorry, Patterson, but if this thing says that Tasha will find a long- term guy then you do not have to worry about weird news from family members. It is not true."
Tasha glared at him but continued scarfing down the pizza.
"But Jane's wasn't that far from reality!" Patterson persisted "Because she always sacrifices herself for her loved ones and she always presses ahead and puts herself in danger!"
Now it was Jane's turn to glare at her friend when she found Kurt glaring at her after Patterson's description. "This thing also said that I have the potential to rule the world."
"I agree" Reade butted in, shrugging at her incredulous gaze "If anyone could rule the world, it would be you. Also you can actually speak to the whole world, so that probably makes that easier."
While still eating her pizza Patterson had regained control over the newspaper – Tasha wasn't holding onto some paper when she could have actual food – and scanned the page once more. "Awh, Kurt. Yours is really cute. Want me to read it?"
"Absolutely" Tasha got out between bites and Kurt added a slightly annoyed "No" which went completely unnoticed.
"Okay there's some blahblah" Patterson skipped the first part and then grinned "What you've been dreaming about lately involves settling down and making a home with someone special" she quirked her eyebrows at him expectantly, seeing him blush under his scruff "So if you're ready to stop thinking and get down to some actual work on the project, it's time to have a chat with your sweetheart" Even Jane was blushing at this point and by the last sentence none of them could keep from roaring with laughter "Your antennae are notoriously flawless, so you already know they're thinking along the same lines."
He was sitting at her bedside, grabbing her hand, willing her to wake up and look at him. He wanted to see her laugh one more time. Why hadn't he savored that moment earlier today when everything had been so carefree? Why hadn't he looked at her properly when he still had the chance?
Please, he silently begged, don't leave me.
"Ah. And work calls again" Patterson sighed looking down onto her phone "One of my systems just cracked another tattoo."
Tasha was currently leaning back as far as the back rest of her chair would allow with her hands resting on her belly "Great. So Jane finally gets her chance to sacrifice herself for us. I have been waiting on this."
Kurt stared at her "No, she doesn't" he shot back looking suddenly very angry and even Patterson stopped smiling when he turned to her for more information.
"I can't say much from here. I think we have to actually get up to see what it's about" she answered the silent question apologetically.
"Okay, guys" he got up first throwing his pizza carton on the pile that Jane and Tasha had already started "Let's see what the computers found out while we were away."
Picking up her pace to get to her lab quickly, Patterson was in full nerd swing, typing away on her smartphone and already giving instructions over the Bluetooth microphone she always carried around with her "No. Stewart, don't press that button" she rolled her eyes in exasperation "Just don't touch the computer. Or the screen."
The rest of the team followed on her feet watching her in her element while none of them understood most of what she was mumbling to herself.
"I'm still convinced that this is actually Capricorn's fault, here" she muttered in complaint "If your horoscope hadn't told us all that you want to sacrifice yourself some more – or rule the world – we wouldn't be in this mess."
Kurt's glare managed to shut her up pretty quickly "No one is going to sacrifice anything" he said with conviction "I'm not opposed the whole ruling the world thing, though" he shot Jane a grin "I think if you'd rule the world we would have a lot less troubles."
"Only if I'd go easy on you" she smirked back at him "So you better be nice."
"I am nice!" he exclaimed happily and felt his heart swell when he saw her beam back at him.
"Ugh, guys. Get a room!" Tasha uttered catching up with Reade to get away from the two people currently lost in each other's eyes – again.
"So. Everyone here?" Patterson asked, turning around when she stepped in front of the big screen in her lab, tablet in hand.
"Yep. All Avengers assembled" Reade said dryly stepping inside and stared at the monitor in puzzlement "What is that?"
Jane stepped forward "That's on my torso" she frowned at the red tattoo staring up at her "It doesn't look like that, though."
The picture that was pulled up on the screen looked like a crown, the tattoo on her body looked more like a random web from rope.
"Yes, totally true!" Patterson exclaimed excitedly "It took me a while to turn that two- dimensional tattoo in a three- dimensional form and when I finally did last week, I still couldn't figure out why there is a crown on your torso, like I checked literally every still existing monarchy in the world and tried to find out if there's something going on there. Until…"
She typed a few commands into her tablet and the crown turned slowly on the monitor, marking the form of the netlike structure.
"These look kind of differently but if you concentrate on what looks similar – if you turn it this way you can picture something that looks like a chemical formula for a chemical – believe me you do not want to know the name. I didn't even find out myself" she looked honestly gutted at that admission. "Anyway, so this molecule is used in a very unique kind of weapon. One that didn't exist until 2 years ago, and the government found out about it only half a year ago."
"This does not sound good" Tasha noticed.
"No. It doesn't" Patterson agreed "The good thing is, that it's still pretty rare, so I could find out who actually buys this stuff. Everyone who has ever bought any of it is adamant to stay hidden. Of course that doesn't stop us" she grinned confidently.
"So there were about three people we could make out and one of those guys calls himself 'The Monarch'" she rolled her eyes "Very imaginative, I know. But he actually owns three buildings in New York City and is known to travel all over the world, rarely staying in the city. Until about two weeks ago, he came to New York and hasn't left since, as far as I know."
"Do we have the addresses?" Kurt wanted to know.
"Yes" Patterson typed in another command and all of their phones chimed "And now you've got them too."
They all looked down on their screens "These are not very far away. So, what do you say?" Kurt looked around "Let's check this out quickly."
"Sounds good to me. As long as we can call it a day afterwards."
When her heart stopped beating for the first time the only thing he could hear was the constant beeping of the monitor attached to her heart frequency and the only thing he could see was her pale form in the white sheets before the nurses and doctors hurried inside to take over. They pushed him outside and he let them because he lost all control over his body.
He stepped outside her room and could only hear the flurry that was created inside of it. He took another step back until his back hit the wall and he reached his hand out to cling to the handrail for dear life. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine her smiling face. The happy beam she had always sent him that was specifically for him.
He couldn't lose her. He needed her.
They stood in front of the second address Patterson had sent them, trying to assess the situation. The first location had turned out to be an empty apartment, no trace of anything, except for a thick layer of dust.
"Everyone got their vests on?" Kurt asked, checking his comm for the last time "I don't like the looks of this at all."
Jane nodded deep in thoughts, watching the building with a frown. Silently she agreed with Kurt. She had a weird feeling in her stomach about this and she would be relieved when all of this would be over. She shot Tasha a quick grin and shook her head.
The Latina had been teasing her about potentially ruling the world or sacrificing herself trying to reach it, all car ride long.
"Stop fighting, girls" Reade sighed and pulled out his gun "Let's get this done."
Kurt nodded in agreement, putting the grim look on his face that was his default expression for going into the field. "Tasha, Reade, take the back entrance. Jane with me" he gave them the usual commands and they split up in pairs of two moving in their usual fashion.
All of this felt like their usual drill. And still, somehow it still felt different and neither of them liked it.
They pushed open the door and waited for a second before entering "See anything?" Kurt whispered moving forward inside the building.
"Not yet" Jane gave back just as quietly. He went first, his gun pulled up, switching on the flashlight on his gun. He still couldn't see anyone but he felt some sort of presence that only intensified his gut feeling. He took another step forward slowly and suddenly his whole body was vibrating and he turned around.
"Jane!" he yelled seeing her body in the small lamp of his light. She stared at him in surprise.
Raising his gun on pure impulse he found the shooter and pulled the trigger without thinking. The other man dropped dead to the floor but he didn't watch him hit the ground, as soon as the bullet had left the barrel he dropped his gun – ignoring everything the FBI ever told him about looking out for accomplices – and ran over towards Jane.
When Jane coded for the second and third time, Kurt had been at the hospital insignificantly longer than her – about an hour and a half. For both times he had Patterson, Tasha and Reade next to him, holding him in place and he was immensely glad about that. He felt like every time was worse than the last and the fear of her not waking up increased with every second her eyes were closed.
"Kurt" he could her their voices trying to call him back to them but all of his being was focused on the spectacle playing out in front of him. Nurses pulling Jane's form on a hard board they had in their reanimation set, the doctor starting the revival and after about 5 minutes another nurse took over and they exchanged places a few times until finally her heart rate came back.
He let out the breath he had been holding since the beeping had started and sank down onto the hospital hall. Through his closed eyes he felt the tears find their way down his cheek and into his stubble.
He didn't care. He would cry all the tears needed so she would wake up again.
Please, Jane. Show me how you will rule the world. You are my world.
"Jane!" he shouted at the lifeless woman in his arms "Come on. Wake up!"
"Weller? What's going on?" he heard Tasha and Reade yell over the comms but he couldn't answer, he was too busy trying to press his hands to the upper part of her leg. The blood came spurting out even under his fingers and he couldn't stop the flow. He tried pressing harder, yelling louder, trying to find a pulse.
He couldn't find one. But he was too erratic right now, the blood being pumped out of her body right under his hand told him that her heart was still beating and it was beating her to death. He wanted to yell at it to stop but he couldn't.
"Ambulance!" was all he could get out and he hoped that someone had heard him. Soon enough he heard footsteps and without looking up he knew Reade and Tasha had joined him. He kept his head down, focusing all of his strength on putting pressure on the wound while Tasha fell to her knees next to Jane's body and he could feel the Latina shake when she cradled Jane's head in her hands and caressed her temples and whispered sweet nothings to her.
What he couldn't feel was a movement coming from Jane. She just lay there and even the blood flow had slowed down considerably which told him that either, the pressure he was putting on her was working or she didn't have all that much blood left to lose and her heart beat was growing fainter.
The last time they revived her he was already used to the procedure. He even knew which nurse would come in first, which one would run to get the revival kit and which one would run to get a doctor. By now he knew three doctors from this ward and a head physician from the intensive care unit.
But this time it took them twice as long.
And this time he stood next to them – in a corner of the room – the whole time, watching the whole thing.
This time he felt all hope leave his body when after almost 10 minutes she still didn't show a sign of life.
He could feel his heart skip several beats until he could finally see hers beat again.
He asked himself how long it would keep beating this time.
When everyone else had left, he was still sitting at her bedside, holding her hand – the only lifeline he knew. He still didn't know what to say to her, he wanted to say something but all the words were gone. She had taken them with her.
He was simply staring at her when Patterson entered, walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. She didn't say anything but he found the words he had been missing all night.
"I never told her that I love her" he got out hoarsely and with the words left every last piece of self-control and he succumbed to the sobs rolling off of him in waves.
"I never told her-" he broke off and squeezed her hand even tighter, bringing his forearm to rest on it, remembering the warmth it once held.
He wanted to stay here forever, with her. But suddenly he heard a beep. The one a heart rate monitor made. The one had heard too often this night.
He felt Patterson squeeze his shoulder once more but he refused to look up. Once he did, he knew what he would see.
A line on a computer screen. Again.
Nurses running towards him. Again.
But he knew, this time the outcome would be different.
He would never hear her laugh again.
He had lost her.
A/N: I actually asked my boyfriend how to end this story because I had gotten weak and wanted her to wake up. He made me do it though. If you want to live in another reality... feel free to do it. I think I'm living in that same alternate universe. Sorry. I guess.