Complicated
"Why are you yelling?" She watched the normally level-headed blond draw another breath for another tirade about how it was a bad idea to tell the Justice League, the world that they were together. "It's not that complicated. People have had high profile relationships before."
"It's not that complicated? Chloe, I'm Oliver Queen, billionaire CEO of Queen Industries. I am under constant scrutiny by the press, the competition. I'm also the Green Arrow. People want me dead, people want to hurt me any way they can by any means necessary. Collateral damage is nothing to them."
She shook her head, frustrated. "You're also Oliver Queen, my boyfriend. And I'm Chloe Sullivan. I have people who want me dead too, that scrutinize me too. You have to take what you can get, Oliver. You promised me Oliver. You promised you'd be able to handle this! I gave you time to get comfortable with it but you act like a completely different person around the others. Do you know how I feel when Dinah puts her hands all over you, and you don't push her away because you can't because everyone thinks you're single and it would be strange? Because she's the hot one in fishnets and I'm the sidekick." She was almost in tears, which made her even more angry. She'd told herself that she wouldn't let this get to her, that it wasn't that big of a deal.
He sighed. He did know what she was talking about.
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Chloe came out of the elevator to find the Justice League boys hanging out on the couches in full research modepapers strewn around. She was happy. Oliver had promised an early nightof work so they could curl up and watch a movie without interruption. She even smiled at Dinah coming in from the kitchen.
Bart appeared beside her. "Hey Chloalicious. Need some help with those files?"
"Thanks, but I'm okay." She glanced at Oliver as she walked up to the desk to set up, files clutched in her arms. "I got those files you wanted. Piece of cake."
He permitted himself a grin for her. "That's my girl. We can go over them later."
"What about me, Ollie?" Dinah asked, sitting down right next to him and running a hand up his arm to brush his cheek and bring his attention back to her. "Aren't I your girl?"
His reply was interrupted by a stack of files being slammed down on the desk.
Everyone looked up at an unapologetic Chloe.
" Must've slipped."
Oliver cleared his throat. "Let's get back to work."
Dinah picked up a file and snuggled closer to Oliver. "What are we looking for again...boss?"
He bent towards the paper, reading a few lines. "Anything suggestive that Luthorcorp is opening a new facility anywhere in the world. Suspicious activity or abnormal equipment."
"What's considered abnormal? Everyone has their own personal tastes when it comes to equipment." She looked up at him through lowered lashes. "Should I be looking for something big?"
Clark choked, Bart and A.C. snorted in laughter, Victor rolled his eyes, and Chloe scowled.
"Oliver? The files?"
He waved a hand at her, wanting to clear up this Dinah thing and get things done quick so they would still have time for the movie. "In a minute, Watchtower. Y'see Dinah, a large amount of lead shielding was sent to the Larchwood facility in Rome, which means-"He winced as another stack of files were slammed down and closed his eyes, his face frozen in a grimace. This time they were followed by a sharp, "Fine." And the click of heels as Chloe made her way upstairs to his private office.
He opened his eyes to see Clark moving to the stairs. He sprung up and practically vaulted the couch to beat the farmboy to them. "I'll talk to her Clark. It's my fault she's angry and you don't need to be subjected to the infinite descriptions of my stupidity, uselessness, egocentricity, etcetera, etcetera. It's getting late anyway. We should call it a night."
"Sure thing boss. Anyone up for a late night pizza?" Bart asked, already moving towards the elevator.
A.C. nodded, tilting his head to Victor who shrugged in agreement. "Clark?"
"Maybe I should...?" Clark glanced up the stairs.
Oliver took a few more steps towards them, moving between the alien and his best friend. "Really not your fight, Clark but thanks for the offer."
"'Kay." He reluctantly followed the others.
"Want me to stop by after my patrol with an update?" Dinah asked with a grin.
"No, I'll probably be in bed by then." Hopefully if he could calm Chloe down.
Her grin widened. "I don't mind."
"Goodnight Dinah." He turned his back on the group and started upstairs. But he wasn't quick enough to miss Bart's whisper to A.C. just before the elevator door slid down.
"She is gonna tear him a new one."
As he pushed open the door, he had a feeling that Bart wasn't too far off.
She was definitely angry and definitely at him. She didn't turn, didn't acknowledge him at all. He waited a couple seconds. The only sounds in the office were the ticking of the clock and the angry rustle of paper.
"Chlo?"
More angry rustling.
He took a few cautious steps, ready to duck and dodge if she wanted to throw something. Then he heard it. It was faint, so small he would have missed it had the room not been so quiet. A sniffle. He sighed to himself. The only thing worse than an angry Chloe was a crying and upset Chloe. He almost wished she had thrown something. This was his weakness, his kryptonite. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry."
"You're so busy watching your back in front of them that you don't even treat me like a human being." Her voice was full of tears and it broke his heart.
"Chloe...I..." But there was nothing he could say. "I'm sorry. There's no excuse for it but I'm still sorry." He went to her and bent down as he turned the chair around so she faced him. "Can we restart the night? We're alone, I don't have to patrol, I have a kitchen stocked full of junk food Can we forget the Justice League for tonight and have that movie date?"
She was clutching files to her chest like a shield, her face tear-streaked. "No, Oliver. We can't. You act like an idiot and then just sweep it under the rug. I can't just let it go. You're somebody else around everyone else. You're trying to be so cool and calm around them that you trample my feelings. And you know Dinah's obsessed with you and you do nothing about it. So no, I can't restart the night." She shoved the files at him and fled.
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"Look," he said desperately. "I just need more time. The thought of you being in danger because of me scares the hell out of me. I'm just not ready."
She shook her head. "That's bullshit, Oliver. Why does everyone always use that excuse? I'm going to be in danger regardless as to whether we're together or not. I'm probably safer with you. That's a cop-out. If this is too hard for you, too much, then maybe we shouldn't even be together. Because I don't think it's very fair to me. I'm willing to sacrifice things for you. Any semblance of a normal life, not being able to be with you all the time, having to share you with the world but I refuse to become a ghost. You can't keep me, keep this relationship hidden away and trot it out whenever you feel you need normalcy in your life. It's just not fair."
He sat down heavily beside her, elbows on his knees letting his hands dangle down limply. He was being dressed down. Chloe Sullivan had pinpointed exactly what was wrong and was tearing him a new one for it. And he had no response. Because she was right. He was being selfish, keeping her in his back pocket while he did what he had to do, then bringing her out and having a relationship when it was convenient for him, when he needed human comfort. "I don't... I don't know what to say."
She nodded heavily. "That's the problem. I want to believe you when you say that it's going to work out, that it's going to be okay. I try, Oliver, I'm trying really hard to believe you but I can't anymore. So I'm just done. I don't know how it's going to work." She was shaking, trying to keep herself from crying.
He moved to hug her, to comfort her, but she held up a hand, her other going to cover her mouth, to stifle a sob.
"If I let you, I'll never be able to get through this."
"Chloe, I can change," he started desperately. "I can do this. We can do it. I can be better."
"You say that but I don't believe you anymore. I've waiting eight months for you to get comfortable. It's always been up to you and I just can't anymore. I'm not okay with it anymore. So I'm done. Goodbye Oliver." She picked up her jacket.
He stood and watched, silent and unmoving as she walked to the elevator, got in and the door slid down. Only then did he allow himself to drop down to the couch once again, his head into his hands and his shoulders shake with sobs. He knew it would've been useless to try to stop her, to convince her otherwise. She was stubborn, determined, and had made up her mind. He remembered the beginning of the relationship. When everything was new and he felt so vulnerable when she looked at him, so naked.
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She'd come on board fulltime when Clark had, three years after the Justice League had completed that first mission at the Ridge facility. Clark was at full power, having completed his training and was sort of with Lois, which surprisingly didn't bother Oliver.
That fateful day when Chloe Sullivan had walked back into his life changed it forever. She'd run a few missions for them before as Watchtower, always looking out, helping, hacking, but he hadn't seen her since the Black Canary incident.
He remembered it vividly. He'd woken up that morning, was washing his face and when he looked up in the mirror, he no longer recognized the person looking back at him. He'd felt empty, like he was broken and no longer a viable part of the human race. He'd put up shields, walls to keep the others out. He was still able to function and the others thought he was just more serious, but nothing sparked his interest anymore. He was the job. It didn't surprise him but he almost didn't know what he was fighting for anymore. What was Justice? And what was accomplished? What was it worth? He shook his head. 'Get with it Queen.' And he went along with his day as usual. Going through the motions.
Then she walked out of the elevator behind Clark. He didn't see her at first, Clark's big frame blocking her until the very last second. She gave him one look and his shields shattered, the walls were torn down and he had no idea what he was going to do. He stared at her in shock and actually stumbled in shock.
Clark was beside him in seconds. "You okay, Oliver?"
He nodded slowly, staring at Chloe. Swallowing hard, he tried to find his voice. All he could manage was, "Chloe."
"Good to see you remember me, Mr. Queen." She smiled impishly at him, as if she knew. As if she'd always known. As if, she'd been in on the joke all along and he was just being told the punch line
He nodded. Her voice was sweet but like steel, cutting through him as if he were cloth. For the past six months, they'd only communicated over e-mail because she was one of the Daily Planet's top reporters, and had been sent over to the Middle East to cover the latest genocides happening. Despite the chaos, she'd been able to continue to work for himShe was amazing.
Clark steadied him then went to greet the other team members.
He didn't even acknowledge the fact that Victor was whispering something to Clark about Oliver burning the candle at both ends and hadn't really been himself lately. That maybe he was cracking? Instead his whole being was turned, focused on Chloe as she tilted her head and her smile changed from Cheshire cat to understanding. Concern flitted through her eyes but she didn't push it. Instead, she raised a hand, a small, ivory skinned hand and asked, "Mind if I set up at your desk?" He nodded dumbly and she floated past him, the scent of citrus and vanilla tantalizing him for a few moments.
Later, as he watched her work, he couldn't understand how he was reacting the way he was. She was Chloe after all, Sidekick, Watchtower. Nothing was different yet nothing was the same. She looked the same: shoulder-length blond hair, now straight, piercing blue eyes that crinkled and twinkled when she laughed, which was often, stylish and fitted clothing but not overexposed. Maybe it was the way that she looked up at caught his eye, even in the middle of a conversation with Victor about new hacking skills, never missing a beat in the conversation but still holding his gaze. Or maybe it was the way that gaze felt – strong and comforting, breath-taking and sexy, like she could see right through him and wasn't afraid of what was inside. He hadn't felt that kind of look ever and it set fire to something deep inside him that he thought had gone out in him forever.
The first time he touched her, they were making dinner. Well, they were transferring Chinese food from cartons to bowls. It was three am and the rest of the League were spread throughout the apartment, low in energy and quiet.
"Oliver, pass me the chicken fried rice, please?"
He nodded.He hadn't seemed to regain his speech around her even for monosyllabic words.As he handed it to her, their fingers brushed and fire seemed to leap up his hand, his arm, into his chest where it stayed, curled up, content. He looked up at her, to see if she had felt it.
She smiled that smile again. "Oliver, we need to talk."
"Oh-kay."
"Are you okay? The guys say you're quieter and closed off."
He nodded. "More jobs, more responsibility," he said slowly.
She put down the carton and turned to lean back against the counter so she could look him in the eye. "That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking if you're okay."
Those eyes. He couldn't lie to those eyes. "No. I'm not."
"Okay." It was quiet, decisive.
The first time she kissed him, he'd been expecting it but was totally blind-sided. It had been two weeks since Chloe had showed up at his door, well, at the League's door and every night, she'd called him, made him talk to her. And it had all come pouring out, he couldn't help it. She was like a truth serum and all his thoughts, his worries, his pain, his fear came out and she had all the right words and knew when to be quiet. It was shocking and unnerving and comforting all at the same time.
Then she'd shown up in the middle of a conversation, still talking on her cell phone as she approached him. It was then that he actually knew how it felt to believe someone when they said those three words.
"Everything's going to be okay. I'm here now."
"I'm here now."
And she'd dropped the phone, dropped her bag, reached up, pulled him down by his shirt lapels and kissed him.
And he finally felt like he was home. He had nothing left, no shields, no walls. He couldn't push her away because she knew everything and she'd accepted everything.
When he asked her to stay the night, she smiled that Cheshire cat smile and asked him if she looked that easy.
He'd laughed. The first time in a long time.
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He squeezed his eyes shut to the delicious pain the memory, trying to hold onto it, savour it. They'd been so innocent, so trusting that everything was going to work out. And then it had changed. He'd changed it. He'd put those walls up again but this time Chloe was stuck on the inside, held perfect and frozen, just like he'd wanted her. But she'd withered without sunshine and so had the relationship.
The ache he felt was nothing he'd ever felt before. No wound had ever cut so deep and this was one he didn't think would heal.
And the worst part? He had no idea what to do about it. Did he simply close it up, cover it and will it to heal, try to forget about it, knowing full well that it wouldn't, that it would remain a gaping wound he'd carry the rest of his life? Before Chloe he would have, he did but he couldn't ignore it anymore, couldn't pretend he was so ignorant. He would have to carry it awhile though. Carry it for penance, until he understood how he would fix it.
So, he went to Lois. Well, he planned to go to Lois. It took him two weeks to work up the nerve.
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"Ollie, she hurts. Getting over you isn't easy." She was leaning over her desk, glaring at him.
He felt like he was in the dean's office all over again and was in trouble. Big trouble. "Lois, I'm not asking how she is. I'm asking how I can fix it."
She fixed him with a stare. "Do you want to? Like, really want to. Because you can't just mess with her like that. I'm shocked she even told me about it. She wouldn't have if I hadn't found her curled up in bed bawling her eyes out after calling in sick to work for the seventh straight day. I was angry, Ollie, so angry. Are you stupid? I mean, Chloe? She's delicate. She's been through so much and you just throw this other thing at her. And not even just throw it at her but you make her live it in secrecy. No wonder she kicked you to the curb." She leaned back in her chair, surveying his dishevelled appearance with what seemed a bit of smug satisfaction. "I'm thinking of setting her up with Jimmy again."
He clenched his jaw. She was just trying to get a rise out of him. "I'm not giving up on her, Lois. I love her."
"Ever tell her that?"
He forced himself to look her in the eye. It was personal but Lois was Chloe's family and when it came to family, all rules went out the window. "No. But I can't now."
"Nope. Honestly, I have no idea what you can do. She seems pretty determined to drop you from her life. Y'know, bad habits and all that..."
"What about me? I'm miserable without her."
"Boo hoo. You had your chance."
"But I love her."
She shrugged. "So what? So do I."
"I can make her happy. I know I can."
She leaned forward again, serious now. "I. Can't. Help. You. I don't want her to be with you because you're going to hurt her again. There's no way you can keep her happy because you're too afraid to love her completely and freely because you still haven't come to terms with your own dual identity. She loves you, Ollie, but love isn't enough. It's never enough."
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Clark's face was stormy but subdued. "I'm trying really hard not to kill you right now, understand. The only reason I'm not is that you're my friend too and I honestly believe that you do love her. I know what you're going through, Ollie, I do. Lana and I did this dance too many times to count. Maybe it's better for you to just let go?"
Oliver frowned, feeling even more determined than before. "It's not the same, Clark. Chloe knew my secret almost from the beginning. She was accepting of it and didn't run. I love her and I know she loves me. I just screwed up and I have to figure out how to fix it."
The tall brunette shrugged. "I don't know what to say. I wish I could help you but she's not even talking to me about it. She's really hurting, Oliver. Maybe give it some time?"
"How much time? It's tearing me apart."
"Maybe it's supposed to. Maybe now you'll get it. She needs time."
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He gave her six months. It was agony. He kept watch over her, a green guardian angel keeping to the shadows but keeping her safe. And when he wasn't in town, he had one of the others watch over her. He told the whole league, much to the disappointment of Dinah, and they were all accepting, if a bit hesitant that it would actually work out. Chloe, after all, had disappeared from Oliver's life and didn't give any indication that she wanted back in.
She's started classes at Met U again, trying for her journalism degree. She settled into normal life, or as normal as she could make it and seemed to flourish. But she found herself staring out the window many nights, wondering what Clark and the others were doing. She did miss the excitement. But she forced herself not to think of Oliver. She couldn't. It was too painful.
And then she ran into him and everything changed again.
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It was stupid really. She shouldn't have taken the shortcut through the alley from the Daily Planet to the parking lot and her car but it was cold and she was tired and not really thinking straight.
The mugger grabbed at her purse and because she wasn't paying attention, her hand stuck in the straps. He spun her against the wall in an attempt to obtain the bag.
She'd cried out as she hit the ground.
Then the scream of pain as the mugger's wrist snapped and he was thrown against the wall and a shadow fell over her.
He offered her a hand up and she took it, wordless. He handed her the bag, took one look into her eyes and turned to go.
"Wait." She didn't even realize she was saying the words until they tumbled out of her mouth. "Wait."
"I'll walk you to your car." His voice was gruff, unrecognizable with the voice distorter.
She followed, thoughts and feelings swirling inside her like a maelstrom and she was afraid. She knew he'd been keeping an eye on her. Had he changed? Could he change? Did anyone really change?
Then they were there.
He waited silently as she fumbled for her keys, dropped them then picked them up again.
When she opened her mouth to thank him, he quickly cut her off. "I'm going away. I don't know when or if I'm coming back." He didn't know.
"Okay." This was what she wanted, wasn't it? So why did it hurt?
"I just needed you to know that. And that I love you and that's not going to change."
She froze, cursed herself as she dropped the keys again. She stooped to grab them and when she stood again, he was gone.
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He stepped into the elevator and leaned against the wall, exhausted. Eight Luthorcorps facilities in six months had been tough even with the help of the Man of the Steel. One bright spot amidst, Lex's darkness was the discovery of Diana Prince at the lab off the Gold Coast.
She was amazing, almost like Clark – strong, powerful, morally straight and true, cool, calm and collected. She was an excellent addition to the JLA. As its ranks expanded, Oliver contemplated going global – setting up leagues all over the world to combat the rising evil.
Bit he was getting ahead of himself. Right now all he wanted was to tumble into bed and get as many hours of sleep as possible. And, while he was wishing for what he wanted, he requested a dreamless sleep because, as it seemed, time does not heal all wounds. It had been six months since he'd seen Chloe and he still dreamt of her every night – her silky soft skin, her sparkling blue eyes, her gorgeous lips and smile, her taut body wrapped around him...
He groaned. So much for that... maybe a cold shower then bed.
The door slid up and he slid the cage open, eyes darting around the room. It felt like a warped version of Goldilocks – stuff strewn around the room like someone had been and... wait... not gone. There. Goldilocks' tousled blond locks poked up from under a blanket on the couch.
He moved closer, not making a sound, hoping, wishing.
At last he stood over her. She looked so perfect, like the first time he'd met her in Clark's barn – untainted, undamaged by the scars he'd inflicted on her.
Her sixth sense kicked in and she started to stir.
"Aren't you supposed to be in my bed?"
Her eyes opened, disoriented from sleep then focused on him. "Pardon?"
"When the three bears came home, they found Goldilocks in their bed, not passed out on the couch." He folded his arms across his chest for effect, trying to lighten the mood.
She raised her chin defiantly. "This isn't that story."
"What story is it then?"
She shook her head. "It isn't any story. Nobody's really covered this material before... Girl loves boy, boy dates girl's cousin, boy is actually a superhero and breaks girl's cousin's heart because he can't trust her with his secret, boy disappears, boy comes back wanting help from girl, falls back in love with girl's cousin, girl does work, gets another girl involved who throws herself at boy, boy breaks girl's cousin's heart, disappears again, girl's best friend finds full superhero potential, both join boy's league of justice, boy finally falls in love with girl but cannot come to terms with it, screws up, boy leaves like he always does when things get hard-"
"Girl misses boy, camps out in said boy's apartment til he comes home, dresses him down, boy kisses girl. They live happily ever after." He smiled faintly.
She stared at him, eyes full of hope tinged with hesitancy. "Do they? Life happily ever after?"
He shrugged. "They could. But I don't know. It's just a story."
When she replied, her voice was so faint, he almost didn't hear her. "I'd like them to."
He sat down next to her and slid an arm around her as she curled toward him. "Me too."
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The End
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