Never, ever in my life I thought I'd be somebody's subordinate.
I always saw myself as the leader, maybe because I have a little brother and I was used to taking care of him. Well, whatever. Why have I become Whitebeard's subordinate?

For a long time, even I didn't know the answer. But after sometime I decided to become his son, I realized – it was for him. No, not for Whitebeard himself! Okay, I admire him for being the greatest pirate I know, and so strong... but really, that wasn't the true reason. There was something more... there was HIM. Marco, the Phoenix. The first division commander. My senpai. The guy who told me that besides being hated, the only place where he was accepted as he was was there, on Moby Dick.
The guy who convinced me that it was worth having a dad. That word hurt me, so I was afraid of trusting someone to become my father. But I decided to do it when he told me that. I decided that it was worth trying, when he smiled sweetly and from the bottom of his heart while telling me that. I believed Marco. And I couldn't forget his sincere smile. No, he wasn't an outstanding handsome man. Many considered him even to be ugly. But for me, on that moment, he became the most handsome man in the world. Maybe it was from this moment that... never mind. The story comes now. But please, don't tell anyone. It's my... secret.

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So then I became his son. And soon, the second division commander, which I liked very much. I wanted to be 'the leader' again. I had my on ship, and my subordinates were my responsibility. I was happy. But suddenly, I felt strange. I had friends on my ship, of course, but... I couldn't meet the other captains often. I felt... lonely.

However, whenever I met Marco, the weird feeling would fade away, like a candle in the wind. I enjoyed my senpai's company. I liked to secretly remember his smile, and how he made up my mind. I liked him. But soon, that feeling started to grow in a way that I couldn't control it anymore.

I started dreaming about Marco. Wanting him, desiring him and thinking of him every time. That feeling was consuming my soul. If I didn't do something... I'd go mad.
But what scared me most was the fact that someone could find out about it.
I'd be so ashamed I'd have to leave the ship. It'd be a dishonor. Loving a colleague from the same crew... a sin. Dad would never forgive me. Not to mention that we were both men... shit, what a mess I've made for myself. I can't show it... it'll be my secret forever. It's a promise [not to state that Marco himself would kill me for that].

Well, as I said before, in the beginning it was easy to hide.
But as time went by, I started having some trouble with that.
I'd get aroused when near him; and depressed when we wouldn't meet.
Everyone could notice... it was becoming obvious. I had to do something to calm my fire (literally) down, and this thing couldn't be confessing to him. So I decided to... sneak into his room at night. Perfect! Nobody would notice. It was a perfect plan! And so I did.

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It was nearly around 3 a.m. when I decided I'd sneak into his bedroom.
So I got on my fire-consuming-boat and went to the first division ship, which wasn't very far away, it took me about 30 minutes to reach there. Perfect. The ship-guards were asleep, so it was a piece of cake entering the ship without being noticed.

Then, I went downstairs and after some more steps I could see his room. A small, dark room with a single bed for him to sleep. And there he was... fast asleep. So into the dream world that even a bomb wouldn't wake him up. His face was relaxed, and almost happy. I wonder what he was dreaming about... wish it was about me.

After some minutes, I wasn't looking at his face anymore.
I got more concerned about other parts. Suddenly, I was looking at his bare chest, observing that perfectly built muscles, his legs... man, his legs were hot.
They were long, pale, and seemed to be so smooth. I felt like touching them...
Not to mention his length. It was hidden by a large pair of blue shorts, but still, it looked very promising, even not being hard.

WAIT! He was... moving! Shit, did I wake him up?
Scared, I hid myself in the darkness, just to hear him snoring. That was close...!
After making sure that he was sleeping again, I took another look... hey, he changed his position. I could see his legs now... my god... they're perfect... so... beautiful...
Before I could think of what I was doing, I lost my mind. I couldn't resist any longer.
I went towards him and kneeled beside his bed. And kissed him.

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I got so absorbed into my task of kissing Marco and exploring his hot mouth that I totally lost track of time. Nothing mattered to me anymore, just kissing him. I forgot where I was, that I could be seen... I even forgot that this man was sleeping and maybe not willing to be kissed by another guy. I just wanted to go on... forever.

When I got back to reality again, I was gasping. Longing for more... I wanted to kiss again that hot mouth and that wet tongue. To touch him... but I stopped. I could say I forgot all that. Suddenly, I got terrified, because a pair of green eyes were staring at me. And they looked mad. Uh-oh. Man... I'm done for.

- Marco, I...

- Shut the fuck up. You were kissing me.

- This... It doesn't mean that...

- I know what it means better than you do. I'm no fool. You love me, don't you?

- Would it make a difference if I said no?

- It wouldn't. I know you do.

- I'm sorry...

- What are you sorry for?

- For not controlling myself...

- You're sorry for kissing me? Cut the crap.
You loved it. Of course you're not sorry... you're AROUSED.

Marco pointed at my cock, which was up.
Shit...! I got careless. I was so embarrassed.

- Ace... I don't dislike it.

- What?

- That you like me. In fact I was provoking you when I moved that time.
I wanted you to see me and test you.

- That wasn't funny, Marco. I'm serious.

- I'm also serious. I...

- You're not! You were goofing around, weren't you?
Was it fun to predict my reaction? Did you enjoy that?

- Ace, stop! I didn't mean to hurt you...

- SHUT UP!

And then I left the ship. I went out running so fast that I even don't recall when I reached my boat and went away. I just know that I was crying so much that I couldn't see anything around me.

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When I asked Dad where Ace was, he told me that Ace had left.
He left to pursue Black Beard, Teach, for killing a nakama.
Since Teach was Ace' subordinate, this was his responsibility.
But I didn't like his attitude. Ace ran away from me.
He used this event as an excuse to disappear for some time.
Very clever, but not very fair to me.
I was serious, tough it looked like I was joking.
Shit...! When will I see him again?
The worst was that I got the feeling that I'm never going to see him again.
Why is that? Of course he'll win, but... why do I have the impression that that night, that kiss, was our last meeting? Shit! Ace... please be safe. Come back, and let's talk...
Would you kiss me again? I'll be waiting...

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When I hit the ground, I knew it was the end for me.
So... I lost to Teach and his yami-yami no mi.
I'm gonna be sold to the government, and sent to execution.
Shit... my life was so short, so fast.
I wish I could see my brother again.
I wish I could see Dad again.
But more than anyone... I wish I could see Marco again.
I ran away from him. I was too scared.
I didn't want to hear his feelings for me. If they were the same, we would commit a sin in the ship. I was scared of the truth. But now, almost dying... I wish it had been different. I wish we had made love. I wish I could die after being Marco's.
I wish I was braver to do anything for him. Will I see him again before I die? Well, at least, now he knows my secret. I hope he keeps it safe in his heart... forever.