A/N I do not own anything that is in this story. Anything. Kind of sad, actually.
So, people liked my story, Walking the Lines, and requested more, so here it is… more from the absolutely brilliantly mushy mind of Captain Jack Sparrow.
***~***
Summary; More brilliant thoughts from the mushy mind of Captain Jack Sparrow, while he is stranded on the island by Barbossa the first time. Enjoy ppls.
Chapter 1, and maybe the only chapter, I dunno
Well, here I am. Me, sitting here, stranded. Yep. All by myself. Alone. Hmmm.
Never really thought it would happen. Me, mutinied? Nah… impossible. Well, I've learned something… nothing is impossible. Just improbable. But if everything is improbable, then it actually can be accomplished, right? So maybe I can figure out some way to get off this damned island. Something… who knows, maybe there's a village on the other side, right? Well… too lazy to find out at the moment, actually, so I think I'll just doze off. After all, I have a long time to figure out a way to escape, right? I mean… I'm sure not going anywhere.
But who knows. Maybe I'll find an abandoned ship or something… and some rum… And the ship would be full of really beautiful women, who work for free if you get them drunk enough…, and lots and lots and lots of rum…
Never mind. I'm just dreaming again, just dreaming… just… dreaming… that is NOT going to happen, Jack, so get it out of your mind. Just… stop thinking about it at all.
Whoa, I think I am going crazy. A few seconds ago I think that a bird flew by and purposefully crapped on my hat. On PURPOSE! Damn that bird… it will die. I guarantee you, it will die… where did I put that pistol? Dammit, bird, you're going to DIE!
No, No, no. Never mind. Just… just put the pistol down, Jack, put it down. Save it. Barbossa's going to die, someday. Someday, that pistol is going to be in his skull. Buried deep into his sku-
NO! There's that damn bird again! Die, friggin bird! Oh… you, bird, you don't know who you're messing with. You had better watch out, because nobody messes with Captain Jack Sparrow and LIVES! You're going to die; I'll kill you, and then eat you… I'm hungry now.
I think I'll go to sleep.
No… I can't go to sleep, I can't think straight… maybe I'll go explore, see if I can find a way out of here. Yeah, that's it. I'll go explore.
***
Yes! Finally, someone up there has the decency to be a nice person. Who has better luck that Captain Jack Sparrow? Who ELSE could find a trapdoor simply bursting full of rum? RUM! My savior! My escape! I find that when you can't go anywhere, when you're locked up, trapped, rum is the best escape, the best freedom you can have. I'm in that sort of position right now, but I would have to disagree. The best escape I could have right now would be a ship. That would be nice.
But rum is good too.
Oh, sweet rum.
Hang on a second… I can't get it open. Dammit.
NOOO!!! No friggin bottle is going to keep me from my rum! *smash*
Ouch. That really, really hurt. Oh well. At least now I have rum. I WILL LIVE! I HAVE THE WILL! WILL! WILL TO LIVE, SO I WILL LIVE!
Oops. Spilled a little bit. Hehe. That's kinda funny.
Rum is really good. Did you know that, Sally? Billy? Whatever your name is?
Hmmm. I've forgotten. I think I should have some more rum, maybe I'll remember.
Or not. But do I care? No.
I SEE THE BIRD AGAIN! BIRD, YOU GOIN DOWN! Hahaha…
No… where did I put that pistol?
I CAN'T FIND IT!
YOU GOT LUCKY THIS TIME, FRIGGIN BIRD! NEXT TIME YOU BETTER WATCH OUT! I HAVE THE WILL!
Woo Hoo! Yeah… Um…
Hmmm…
Now what. The rum bottle is empty. Um…
Well… I'd kinda like some more. Where did I get it in the first place? I forgot. Could somebody please be nice to me and get me another bottle?
I guess not…
Hmmm…