A/N: So, here I am reading some FF when I think….No my god, I want some ONE/TWO SHOTS! So I decided to dedicate this one to my bestest FF friend, miss xEmerald Isle. Don't take this the wrong way, you pervs…I lovies you Emerald!…….What? WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE! I MEAN SISTERLY LOVE DAMNIT!….Some smexicalls, enjoy it dear readers!

Have you ever had the feeling, you know in the beginning of a relationship, that this is crazy, it doesn't make any sense, how'd I fall in love with you in the first place?

This is exactly how I felt. I'm Kyle Broflovski, I'm 16 years old and I live in the crazy town of South Park, Colorado. I have the best beyond best of friends a guy could ask for. There was Stan, he's been my Super Best Friend forever. And Kenny, who's a bit of a pervert but who isn't now-adays? And then there was Cartman.

I hated Cartman……..

At first, at least.

….Why? What the hell do you mean WHY? He's a Nazi, bent on destroying Jews like myself, he insults everyone, and thinks it's fucking FUNNY, and did I mention how much of a dick he is?

…..No?

Well he's a dick. There, I said it.

But get this! I figured out lately that my hate for him was just something I thought I NEEDED to feel, you know? But I soon found out the little phrase that my little brother told me a long time ago was true,

Can't help who you love

I know, it sounds really gay, but it's true! Just look at me!

I'm in love with Eric Cartman! Yea I said it! So there! Judge me!

You think I'm crazy, don't you? Well I don't blame you, Stan thought I was drunk when I first told him…Maybe it will help if I told you HOW I came to love him, Yeah I thought so. So this all started about a year or so ago, when I got this weird anonymous note…

The note had said something really corny, I was baffled at how weird the person had put it together. Something about how they understand me, but I will never understand them. The feelings they had for me were to never be explained for it would cause a time of great confusion.

Naturally I thought Bebe had slipped the note into my locker, rumor did have it that she liked me..

But their was something different about this note…I could relate to it, but also I couldn't. It was so deep and truthful, certainly Bebe couldn't have written something like that, unless she was confessing to Wendy that she was really a team Edward, not a team Jacob.

"Hey Kyle!" Stan greeted me from behind, rushing up to me like a puppy chasing a red ball. He looked down at my hands….Crap! I had forgotten to put the note away! Quickly it took it, scanned the paper down then looked at me, with a puzzled expression

"What's with the note?" He asked, clearly amused by how melodramatic it was.

"Don't ask me, I just found it" I replied honestly.

He smirked. Damn it, Stan, I swear to god that smirk of yours always means trouble…

"Any idea who it's from?" He questioned, quirking his eyebrow in suspicion.

I turned around thinking, then I replied with "I have no idea…I thought it was Bebe, but then I thought-"

"Bebe doesn't have the brains to write something like this, Kyle, she's BLONDE remember?" I whirled around to see Kenny grinning at me, leaning on his locker with his orange parka down. He'd obviously snuck up here, grabbed the note from Stan and read it. But how'd he do it so damn fast…?

"So what if she's blonde? You're blonde too Kenny!" Stan remarked, half laughing half serious.

"So you've just proven my point even more, Marsh!" Kenny responded, shifting his weight and crossing his arms over his skinny chest.

"He has a point, you fucking hippie" Ah great, Cartman showed up. "What are you gay fags babbling about?" He asked, as if he really gave a rats ass

"Some whore is in love with Kyle, we're trying to figure out who she is, and if she'll give him a lap dance" Kenny answered. "Or, it could be a guy.."

"SICK DUDE!" I exclaimed. A guy interested in me? That's just disgusting!

"What makes you think he or she loves the Jew?" Cartman inquired, eyeing me.

"This retarded note" Kenny handed it to him, Cartman read it and….

His face burned a deep red? Say whaaa-?

"Cartman?" I stared at the obese 'big boned' brunette, gawking at the paper. What the hell was his problem?

"Hey fat-ass, wake up!" Stan slugged him on the arm, bringing him back to the reality we know as this hallway.

"What?" He looked dumbfounded. Now I'm really freaked out.

"Oh my god is that the bell? I better get to math class early…" With that he dashed off, somewhat panic stricken.

I looked at Stan, Stan looked at Kenny, Kenny looked at me. Our expressions read.

"What the flying fuck?"

And thus started the conspiracy of the note, and the questioning of Eric Cartman..

Like what I did just there? Going all overly dramatic and stuff? Did ya? No? ah whatever.