Asgore was watering his flowers. And then he wasn't. There was no flash, no explosion, but all of a sudden, he was standing in a room he had never seen before, sprinkling the floor.
Around him was a complicated chalk drawing. Candles spread around the room gave it an eerie red glow. There was a strong stench of rotten eggs. In front of him lay a heavy tome and loose pages full of notes. Behind them stood a puzzled-looking man wearing a long black robe.
"You're not a demon, are you?" the man asked.
"I, uh, I do not believe so."
"Yeah, figures. You're a bit low on the blood and hellfire." The man knelt down and read through his notes, frowning. "Ah, here we go. It's off by fourteen million cubits. So how did I end up with you? Where did you come from?"
The fumes were making it hard to think. "I was in my garden." He held up his watering can.
"I mean, geographically."
"Oh. Right. Mount Ebott."
"Czechia, huh? Yeah, that checks out. I'll put you back, and try again. Terribly sorry." He picked up the book and started to chant.
"Excuse me. But could I ask you what you are trying to do? Perhaps I can help."
The man stopped chanting and looked up from the book. "Oh, you know, just a demon summoning. I'm looking to sell my immortal soul in exchange for riches, power, worldly pleasures, that kind of thing."
Asgore had a bright idea. "As a matter of fact, I could use a human soul. You say you are willing to part with yours?"
"Posthumously, for the right price, sure."
"I think I could offer you a rather large amount of gold."
"That's a start, but if I asked a demon I could probably get a way to make it out of lead or something. More useful in the long term. Do you have anything like that?"
Asgore thought about it for a moment. "Well, my Royal Scientist found a way to make rather good ice cream out of seaweed. Is that something you would be interested in?"
"Thank you, I'll pass."
"You also mentioned power. I am a king, so I could arrange something."
This interested him. "A king? Really? Where's your kingdom?"
"Locked in a mountain, behind an impenetrable barrier." he confessed.
"Nah, that's no good. No offense."
"None taken." Asgore was panicking. He couldn't let this opportunity pass. "I would not even need to buy it. It would be very helpful if I could just borrow it for a while."
"Borrow it?"
"You know, put it into a jar, use it for a ritual, then release it. It is only one spell that needs to be broken."
The man pondered it for a while. "Yeah, that could work, as long as nobody insists on an exclusivity agreement. Can you get someone on your side to draft a contract? Payment in advance, best effort attempt to notify you when near death, yadda yadda yadda. I'll be in touch."
"That will be alright. Thank you."
"No problem. I'll send you on your way."
He sang out a few more syllables, and then Asgore was back in his garden, smelling flowers instead of sulfur.
"Well," Asgore said to himself, "that was something."