Quinn waited on the line, listening to the dial tone. She wished she still had a corded phone instead of her lightweight cell phone; she needed something to do with her nervous fingers.
When she had sent Rachel off earlier that day, she knew something was wrong. Rachel wasn't just crying because she was leaving Lima and all of her friends behind. Quinn knew deep down that there was something else going on behind those chocolate brown eyes that was making her cry.
"Hello?" Rachel finally picked up on the last ring.
Quinn's breath caught in her throat when she realized Rachel had actually answered. "Rachel? Yeah, hi."
"Hi," Rachel said, a little befuddled as to why Quinn was calling her.
"How was the train?" Quinn asked. "Are you liking New York?" She knew not to hit the hard subjects first. She wanted to get a friendly conversation going so that Rachel would be more likely to open up. She knew that they had had some rough spots in their friendship in the past, and Quinn didn't want any of that to be blocking Rachel from telling her what's wrong.
"It was okay," Rachel said, her voice picking up when she moved on to the next question. "I love New York, though. Remember when we came here for nationals last year?-Even though we didn't win, do you remember how fun that was?"
"Haha, yeah," Quinn laughed, remember all the fun they had before the actual competition, where New Directions lost, not even making it into the top ten show choirs in the country. All that changed this year when they went from being number twelve to number one. "That was great."
"I've never told anyone this," Rachel said, lowering her voice, "but one of the days we were in New York, Kurt and I got up early and snuck into the Gershwin Theatre. It was incredible, Quinn. I swear there were shivers going up and down my spine that just wouldn't stop. Anyways, Kurt and I snuck on stage and we sang 'For Good', you know the last song in Wicked-if you don't count the finale. It was magical, Quinn. It was like I was really performing there on that stage for a live audience."
"And maybe you will someday," Quinn said.
"One can only hope," Rachel said. Quinn could tell by the sound in her voice that Rachel was doing that thing where she looks down at her hands and her voice sounds slightly more innocent. It's the voice she uses when she needs reassurance.
"You will, Rachel. I know you."
"Thanks, Quinn," Rachel said. "Can I tell you something?"
Good, Quinn thought to herself, she's opening up.
"Sure," Quinn said, taking a seat on her couch. She had been standing for all of the conversation. She was rarely nervous, but she had been standing because she was nervous. She figured it would be better to be comfortable if she was really going to get into the long conversation she planned.
"Sometimes I worry that that won't happen," she said. "I worry that I'm going to go through all of this training, but it'll all end up being a waste, and I'll never become anything."
"Rachel, we all worry that we aren't going to become anything; that we aren't going to be remembered," Quinn consoled her friend. "But I want you to remember that that isn't you. You, Rachel Berry, are a star. That's what you told all of us the past three years, and I believe it because you convinced me. You showed me-you showed all of us that you are a star."
"It's just so scary being here all on my own, you know?" Rachel said. "I know that it's going to get worse because once school starts, I'm going to meet my competition, and I am so afraid that they are going to be so much better than me."
"I don't think that's possible," Quinn chuckled. "Plus, that's what going to college is for, right? To get the specific training you want?"
"You're right, I know you're right," Rachel said, trying to convince herself.
"Can I ask you something, Rachel?" Quinn asked.
"Sure," Rachel said.
Quinn took a breath before she let the words out. "Did something happen between you and Finn? Or maybe something with your parents? I'm worried about you, Rachel."
Rachel's breath caught in her throat; not because of what happened, but because Quinn cared. "Yeah..." Her voice was a little shaky; it was tough to let herself recall the memory from earlier that day, to feel all that pain all over again. Rachel took another deep breath and began again, "Yeah. Today, just before I got out of the car at the station, Finn broke up with me."
"Oh, Rachel, I'm so sorry," Quinn said, doing her best to sound sincere. However, somewhere deep inside her, she felt a small flash of relief. Relief at what, she wasn't quite sure. She knew she should not feel that way, so she did her best to repress that feeling and continue talking with her friend.
"He told me he's enlisted in the army," Rachel said. Quinn could hear the sobbing now. She wished she could be up there in New York to comfort her. She wanted to hold her until all the sadness went away. She didn't know why she felt this way. It was befuddling. She knew she needed to get off the phone quickly, but she didn't want this time to end.
"But why?" Quinn asked.
"He says he want to change his father's discharge to be an honorable one," Rachel said. "Quinn, I'm so scared he's going to die there. I don't know how I'm going to continue without him."
Rachel sniffed in her snot on the other end of the line. Quinn said to her, "Rachel, I'm sorry there's nothing we can do. I tried to convince him not to go, but he wouldn't listen to me."
"You tried to stop him?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah," Quinn said. "He wouldn't be dissuaded. I swear I tried everything; he wouldn't listen. He needs to do this. They're supposed to be pulling out of these wars, so maybe he won't have to be there long."
"I can only hope," Rachel said.
"That's all any of us can do," Quinn said. Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. She knew it was her mother, home with groceries. "Listen, Rachel I have to go. Please call me tomorrow, okay? I want to hear how things are going."
"Sure," Rachel said, sniffing back tears.
"Thanks, I'll speak to you soon," Quinn said, hanging up. All night, through dinner, brushing her teeth, and trying to go to sleep, she couldn't shake the worry she felt for Rachel, all alone in New York City.