Stealing One's Own Memory Back 101
By Bren Ren
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Summary: In the midst of the time-loop-time-warp, Major Samantha Carter receives a visitor… her future self.
Rating: General Admission, Approved for All Audiences
Disclaimer: It just wasn't fair of you to steal that memory from Sam and never give it back. So I'll do it for you. Free of charge, even! :P Written to entertain, with apologies to Weird Al, George Lucas, medicinal tokers, The Incans, Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and the crew of Ghost, and of course, Richard Dean Anderson, Amanda Tapping, the awesome cast, TPTB (Especially you, JoeM!) and crew of Stargate SG1—and anyone prone to time-travel-contemplation-induced-headaches. Let's do the Time Warp Again!
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~o~O~o~
{1600 hours, Friday, August 4, 2000}
{Major Sam Carter's Lab}
~o~O~o~
"Who are you?" Major Sam Carter barked the inquiry to a woman who had just appeared out of thin air inside the lab.
The woman, a perfect doppelganger for the startled and curious Major, smiled brightly. "I'm you."
Major Carter lifted one brow. "You're me?"
"Future you, actually," she clarified.
Major Carter's eyes widened in comprehension as her head tilted up to one side. "Here to help break the time loops?"
Future Sam Carter shook her head. "Nope. Believe it or not, this little time warp has strictly personal motivations."
"Oh really?" This Carter obviously could not wrap her mind around the idea of traveling through time for personal reasons.
Future Carter chuckled. "In a few minutes, one Colonel Jack O'Neill, who's gone just a little stir crazy after several weeks of these time loops before being knocked upside the head by Daniel's suggestion that he can do pretty much anything he wants without having to worry about the consequences, is going to hand his official letter of resignation in to General Hammond."
"Resigning?" Major Carter asked in alarm. "What for?"
Future Sam's smile grew both wry and sly. "So we can enjoy the most spectacular grand dip kiss in the history of dip kisses right there in the control room in front of God, General Hammond, and everyone—without the regs hanging over our heads. "
"Seriously?" Major Sam was obviously intrigued, if still a bit incredulous. "O-kay… well, I don't think I could really hold that against him. I mean, it's just a kiss, right?" Future Sam nodded in the affirmative. "And I won't even remember it," Major Sam concluded.
"Which is exactly why I'm here," Future Sam informed her.
"Because I won't remember it?" Major Sam repeated in confusion. After a moment of contemplation, realization quickly dawned. "So *you* can remember it."
"Well, one of us should, don't you think?" Future Sam paused until the Major gave her an acquiescing nod. "It's been driving me nuts for the last five years, to be honest."
"Well, if you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?" Major Carter replied in deflection.
"But that's how long it took me to find a way to travel back here," Future Sam continued without missing a beat. "We're just lucky Thor really likes us."
"Thor, huh?" Major Carter had to smile in acknowledgement. "Tell him thanks… I think."
"I did. And I will. And so will you."
Major Carter let out a soft chuckle. "It's a good thing I'm not prone to time travel induced migraines."
"No kidding," Sam of the Future agreed. "So… The plan's simple: you lock yourself up in here while I run up to the control room for the big finale of this loop."
Major Sam peered at her reflection pensively. "This is just so…"
"Weird?" Future Sam supplied.
"Yeah. I mean, on the one hand… I really want to be the one to experience that kiss… but on the other… you're the only one who will be able to remember, and since you're me, the only way for me to remember is for me to not be the one to kiss him."
"Like you said, thank God we don't get time-travel-contemplation headaches," Future Sam answered dryly. "Well, if you'll excuse me, it's almost time for the showdown."
Major Sam Carter shook her head in bemusement. "Have fun."
"Yeahsureyabetcha!" Future Sam grinned a zillion megawatt beam as she left the lab, closing the locked door behind her.
"You, my dear future self, have been hanging around Jack O'Neill way too much," Major Sam Carter told herself.
******
~o~O~o~
{1620 hours, Tuesday, August 8, 2000}
{P2X-012}
~o~O~o~
The intrepid team of SG1 had been invited to join Chief Inkarri, leader of an Incan tribe that had evolved on this mountainous planet after being kidnapped by the Goa'uld Vichama some five thousand years ago, in a celebration in his private burning tent for the peaceful treaty they had quickly agreed to, sharing vast reserves of Goa'uld-abandoned naquedah and a variety of indigenous herbs with unique medicinal values in exchange for access to any and all remains of their ancestors on Earth
"Thanks be to Pachayachachic for the enlightenment of the sweet grass. Peace be with you," the old Incan Chief intoned with great reverence. He lifted a large glass water-filtered pipe to his mouth, filled the chamber and pulled in a hefty lungful of sweet smoke from the smoldering plant packed inside the bowl. He held it inside his lungs for an eternity before slowly expelling a steady stream of pale gray smoke. Only at the very last did he cough ever so slightly.
He passed the old traditional peace pipe over to Colonel Jack O'Neill, who gladly accepted it with a sly, knowing grin. He lifted the pipe to his smiling lips and he filled the chamber all the way as he took a mighty hit; he managed to empty half his lungs before it gave him a coughing fit.
"Good stuff," he managed after several rounds of heavy breathing to restore oxygen to his burning lungs as he passed the pipe to Major Samantha Carter.
With a slightly wary, slightly apprehensive glance at the coughing and grinning Colonel, the Major drew in a lungful of the sweet grass smoke. She only managed to hold it in for a couple of seconds before choking through her own coughing fit.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, archaeologist and diplomat extraordinaire, carefully rescued the pipe from her convulsing grasp without spilling any of the glowing embers. With an expression of bemused resignation, he sucked in a fair lungful of smoke. He managed to hold it in only slightly longer than his female team mate before nearly hacking out a lung.
Teal'c, the resident alien team member, rescued the pipe from Daniel Jackson, bowed his head briefly, and inhaled a mighty smoke-filled drag. Much like their hosting Chief, he blew out the vast majority of the smoke before giving in to the urge to cough just the slightest.
"What *was* that stuff?" Major Carter asked hoarsely, breathing through a slightly dopey grin.
"Some of the best cannabis sativa known to man, if I had to guess," answered the archaeologist.
"Thanks be to Pachachachachic," the Colonel praised.
At a sharp look from the Chief, Daniel quickly interjected, "Pacha-*ya*-chachic."
"*Ya*," O'Neill inflected. "Pa-cha-*Ya*-chachic." Then he began rhythmically nodding his head. "Pa-cha-*Ya*-chachic. Pa-cha-*Ya*-chachic. Pa-cha-*Ya*-chachic."
The Incan Chief began bobbing his head, as well as his entire torso, to the SG1 team leader's beat as the old warrior joined in the chant. After a moment, Dr. Jackson joined in, then Teal'c, and finally Major Sam Carter could no longer fight the influence of the drug-influenced mob mentality and she joined in as well. Another Incan warrior inside the tent began beating a primitive bass drum along with them until the entire group dissolved in fits of laughter, the stoic Chief and Teal'c included. The end result of the hysterics-fest was that Sam Carter landed in a puddle of giggles in the lap of her chuckling commanding officer.
"Looks like you managed to find yourselves another convenient excuse," Daniel chimed in with a smirk. Sam cautiously extracted herself from the compromising position to stare at Daniel quizzically. "First you had that Neanderthal virus excuse. Then Urgo's sensory enhancement influence. And of course, let's not forget the whole consequence-free time loop experience." He had to pause when Teal'c abruptly let out a resounding chortle. Jack shot his Jaffa friend half a scowl before a smug grin stole across his features. "Now you've got the old alien-drug-influence excuse," Daniel continued. "So the big question is… Whatcha gonna do about it?"
"Indeed." Teal'c addressed the Colonel with his trademark single raised brow. "This does present you with a rare opportunity."
Sam turned to her conspiring team mates with an adoring grin. "I love you, Daniel."
"You love *Daniel*?!?" Jack's face was the picture of crestfallen shock.
Sam turned back to him with an amusedly sympathetic gleam in her eyes. "Like a brother," she told him.
"Oh," was all the reply the bewildered Colonel could manage. Then the Major grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss of legendary proportions on him. His eyes grew wide as understanding finally penetrated his thick skull. "Oh!" He shouted when she finally released him. He grabbed her back into his arms and kissed her soundly.
"So…" It took a moment for Sam to formulate a coherent thought after they finally came up for air. "Speaking of the time loops…"
"Who was speaking of the time loops?" Jack asked, still enjoying the fog as the pipe made its way back to him for another round.
"I was speaking of the time loops," Daniel reminded him.
"Oh, yeah." Jack blew out a big cough-free cloud before he continued. "What about the time loops?"
Sam decided that she needed another boost of alien influenced courage before throwing the proverbial grenade into the conversation. She didn't choke nearly as hard on this second pass, and after refilling her lungs with semi-fresh oxygen, she dropped the verbal bomb. "What exactly did you do during those time loops?"
"Huh?" Jack was only half playing dumb as the comfortably numb buzz of tetrahydrocannabinol coursed through his blood.
"When you undoubtedly started going stir crazy after weeks on end of looping in time and Daniel dropped the no-consequences idea into your lap." Sam spoke slowly, as though needing to consider each and every word with close scrutiny before speaking it.
"Oh. That." For all his pretence to the contrary, Jack O'Neill was not a dumb man. That smug smile returned. "Well. I explored a latent interest in pottery."
"Pottery?!" Sam asked with due credulousness.
"Underscored by The Righteous Brothers." He continued to stare at Sam with that irritatingly smug grin until the pop culture reference clicked in her brain.
She giggled. "All by yourself?"
"Only until you caught me in the act," Jack answered with waggling brows.
"Oh, brother," Daniel groaned. Happy for the chance at a convenient distraction, he took another plug of smoke from the peace pipe before egging the conversation on further. "Well, go on. Tell her what else."
"You know what else happened?" Sam asked Daniel, a slightly wounded note in her tone.
"No, but you know Jack as well as I do," Daniel answered in placating tones. "I'm sure that's only the tip of the ice burg."
Sam smiled in concession before returning her attention to the subject of her interrogation. "So what else happened?"
"Well, I indulged in a childhood dream of running away to join the circus and become a clown. I cruised through the corridors of the base on a unicycle." His grin was growing more mischievous by the second.
"A unicycle?!?" Sam couldn't help but laugh out loud at that mental impression. "God, that's like imagining… Sledge Hammer in a Ronald MacDonald costume." She had to stop at the raucous laughter from both Jack and Daniel before she could push for more time loop adventures details.
"And…?" Once she'd controlled her own laughter, there was a hint of annoyance creeping into her tone as Sam begrudgingly accepted the fact that he obviously intended to draw this out as long as possible.
"Set a world golf driving record of several billion miles," he answered proudly.
"You didn't!" Sam exclaimed.
"I did," Jack answered. "Right through the wormhole. Shoulda seen Hammond. At least sixteen different shades of purple. And in the middle of my back swing, for cryin' out loud!"
Sam enjoyed a hearty chuckle at those mental images, as did Daniel. Teal'c had just finished his second dose of sweet grass smoke and let out a noisy guffaw.
"And then?" Sam's voice clearly reflected her growing anticipation—and impatience.
"I resigned."
"You resigned? What for?"
Jack laughed. "That exactly what you said when I handed the letter to George."
"And the answer…?"
"So I could do this," Jack answered before pulling her back into his arms for another kiss. He pulled her form around and bent her back until she was resting across his lap as he kissed her most thoroughly.
The Incans began chanting, and Daniel began translating lyrics of a liturgical nature bestowing blessings on the kissing couple. "Congratulations," the Chief told them when they finally came up for air. "You are now married."
The entire team of SG1 burst into another length fit of raucous laughter.
******
~o~O~o~
{1619 hours, Friday, October 4, 2000}
{Control Room of the SGC}
~o~O~o~
"Colonel O'Neill, what are you doing out of uniform?" General Hammond barked.
Behind Jack, Sam Carter of the Future schooled her expression into one of perfect confusion as she turned around for her fist look at the Jack O'Neill she'd never remembered seeing five years ago.
"Handing you my resignation," Jack answered.
Sam stood up abruptly. For all her anticipation and mental preparation for this moment, she was astonished at how much genuine shock she felt now that this moment was playing out for her in the first-person, for the first time. "You're resigning? What for?"
Jack was staring at his watch as he answered, driving Sam a little nuts as he kept his own expression carefully neutral. Until he answered, "So I can do this," and grabbed her face in both hands. His eyes met hers flaring with challenge when he brought his lips crashing into hers.
Sam's eyes grew wide; so stunned was she by the electricity in this so long anticipated connection, she gasped sharply. Jack immediately seized advantage of her open mouth and his tongue began a thorough exploration of her warm crevice as he gently bent her body backwards. She responded enthusiastically, clinging to him fiercely with one arm while sliding her other hand up his arm, along his neck. She began to feel dizzy from the evocative sensations his mouth wrought, and from the blood rushing into her head; her pulse was thundering in her ears as her fingers started to slip beneath the black knit cap covering his hair—
And then the multivesre flashed bright white.
******
~o~O~o~
{1620 hours, Friday August 4, 2005}
{Private Laboratory of Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter, US Armed Forces R&D Facilities}
~o~O~o~
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter flashed back into existence in her lab, the time travel experience and her activities just prior to transport accelerating her dizziness and dropping her into her conveniently close-at-hand desk chair with a flop.
"Wow." The word came out in a hushed, rushed, reverent tone.
"I take it your mission was successful, Colonel Carter."
Sam shook her head to clear it before answering. "Yes, Thor. Thank you." Sam leaned forward and dropped a chaste kiss on the little gray alien's forehead. "I promise, no more requests to indulge in personal-interest time travel."
"That would be wise," Thor answered. "However, I find your choice of events to alter most intriguing. Considering the nature of the time loop you interceded and your method of interference, you have not significantly altered history. And considering my sincere affection for both you and General O'Neill, I am pleased to have rendered assistance."
"Thanks again," Sam offered with a becoming blush.
"Give my regards to O'Neill when next your paths intersect," Thor said in farewell before disappearing in a flash of bright light.
"Did I just miss my little gray buddy?" The sound of General O'Neill's voice startled Sam right out of her chair. "At ease, Carter," he told her with a twinkle in his eyes. Sam sat back down in her comfortable black leather desk recliner, a broad smug grin filling her features and lighting her eyes. "Spill it," O'Neill ordered.
"Remember your little moment of weakness during the time loops?" Sam asked with a teasing sparkle in her gaze.
"The unicycle?"
Sam snorted. "Hardly."
Jack cocked his head to one side, his brows lifting as a smug grin started lighting his features. "The control room."
Sam nodded. "You thought you could get away with it because I wouldn't remember. Well guess what?"
A hint of chagrin tinted his smugness as he answered, "What?"
"I remember now."
Jack stared at her blankly for a long silent moment. Then his eyelids dropped shut and he muttered, "Thanks, Thor."
"I have only one thing to say about it," Sam began after he met her eye to eye once again, "and after that, we can consider the score even and the case closed."
Wariness crept into the eyes of the formally attired Air Force General as he stared his wife down. "And that would be…?"
"You are *never* going to be able to top *that* kiss."
"Wanna bet?" Jack challenged without pause.
"If you ever do…" Sam paused in consideration for a moment. "I'll take a full year's worth of accumulated leave time up at the cabin with you."
"You're on." He extended his hand out to shake on the deal, and she used it to pull him in for a warm, welcoming kiss.
******
~o~O~o~
{2355 hours, 31 December 2010}
{The O'Neill Cabin, Northern Minnesota}
~o~O~o~
It was a good old fashioned SG1 New Year's Eve party at the O'Neill cabin, with a few special guest stars: Cassie Frasier, George Hammond, Hank Landry, and even good ol' Siler. Daniel was serving generous rounds of champagne fast and furious as the countdown approached.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls—yes, you, Cassie and Daniel!" Jack shouted. The dull roar settled down quickly.
"Hey now!" Daniel and Cassie called out in unison from across the room, eliciting chucklers from the rest of the crowd.
"We have an announcement to make." In true man-of-action fashion, Jack kept his opening gambit brief. He pulled Sam over to his side, wrapping an arm completely around her waist to rest his hand across her lower abdomen. "We'll have a new Carter-O'Neill joining the team come early June."
A chorus of gasps was instantly drowned out by a louder chorus of cheers. That's when he did it.
He pulled Sam around into his arms and brought his mouth crashing down on hers just as the midnight New Years fireworks began exploding on the large television screen. He bent her ever so gently backwards and held her there for countless dizzying, racing heartbeats as his mouth expertly devoured hers with exquisite familiarity. The crowds cheers died down as the guests exchanged their own New Year's greetings amongst each other; Jack slowly brought Sam back up into a fully upright position, noting with amusement how long she had to keep clinging to him for support before she could finally handle her own weight.
After her vision returned to full focus and the haze of passion had mostly dissipated, Jack finally told her smugly, "I think you owe me a some serious vacation time here."
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Fin ~