In which Miuna takes a walk the night before the Ofunehiki. Hikari follows. Slight canon divergence.
Tonight
By Iluminos
Miuna can't stand the guilt, the shame and the anger, but it seems no one notices, after all, she has never been the type to openly discuss her feelings with others. Her rutine stays pretty much the same when her household recieves its new tenants, althought it comes not without consequences. Ever since her bedmate woke from her slumber, she has been keeping more to herself, which brings forth the current situation that has been forced upon her. Gently slipping her hands away from the petite girl's ears, she lets out a sigh.
Manaka's steady breathing relieves Miuna at last, it took about an hour for the girl to settle down after having a nightmare. She's not sure what exactly troubles Manaka, but apparently having her ears covered, like she had pleaded Miuna to do, is enough to relieve some of her distress.
It is a relief indeed, for Miuna can't stand being next to her anymore. She feels both concern and anger. It's quite the dichotomy. Manaka's vacant eyes make her want to cry out of pity and yearn for the bright person she was, yet the implications of restoring the girl to her former self, also terrify Miuna. Sleeping next to her for the past days has been a torture, for here –in the privacy of her room— she can no longer find the solace and privacy to think about her feelings for Hikari. She feels guilty, and ever since Manaka woke from her slumber, she can't stop the misery that torments her mind.
With outmost care, she slips out of bed, out of her room, and finally, after tiptoeing her way across her living room, she reaches the front door. By that point, she can feel her cheeks dampen by silent tears she can't hold back anymore. And she runs out, out of her home and towards the beach, away from the pain. Her lungs burn as she runs faster than she has ever. In the middle of the night, there's no other sound but that of the waves that crash against the shore, and that of her erratic breathing.
Miuna feels lost, torn between wanting to pour out her feelings or to hide them away and mourn quietly for what can't be. Her legs give out and she falls hard, hands digging into the sand. She lets out a broken wail and drops her chin against her chest. It hurts, having to let go of what she had cherished for five years, but her self-preservation instinct demands her to.
Miuna doesn't know how long she's been dripping snot onto her pajama shirt in mute agony, before a pair of warm arms wrap around her back. She flinches and her eyes open wide as she tries to turn around.
"Stupid, what has gotten into you now?" his tone is irritated but concerned.
She didn't need this, she didn't need him now of all times. Miuna feels the sobs rocking inside her chest but she stifles them. "H-Hikari. Why are you here?" She doesn't think she managed to speak fluently, her voice shaking and breaking throughout her words, but it seems to take him only a moment to grasp her question.
"I couldn't sleep—was going to check on the boats. Tomorrow's a big day you know. What are you doing here?"
Miuna is glad her back is to him, for she knows her grimace must be as hideous as her inner turmoil. "I needed…to be alone."
"Yeah, it seemed obvious to me the first half hour you remained here on the ground, weeping at ungodly hours of the night-" Miuna feels him lean closer, his breath warming up the back of her neck. "-but another hour went by and you didn't seem to want to leave, so, I took it upon myself to return you home safely." His voice next to her ear is teasing and soothing and she doesn't want to pull away but she has to.
"I can take care of myself, you know." Miuna wipes her face with the back of her sleeve and slowly untangles herself from Hikari, the warmth is soon replaced by cold and she shivers.
"Oh, I know." His tone is mocking.
She raises her eyes to look at him, and she is greeted with a warm, teasing smile. Its infections, and it has her lips curving upwards slightly. "I do!" She protests, and her chest feels lighter, it feels warmer. This is why she needs to let go of him, he has such great influence on her.
"No, really. I'm sure you have a good reason for sneaking out this late." He chuckles, slipping his hands inside his hoodie's pockets.
Bickering with Hikari, and laughing with him has become a habit for the past months. It was only recently that he seemed to become a bit sadder. The uncertainty of Manaka's condition, adding more fuel to his despair.
"I was just scared, tomorrow might not be what we all expect it to be." She admits, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
Hikari turns his gaze to the sea, his face becoming a blank mask, and he says nothing for a while. Miuna feels like she has said something to anger him yet again, like that one time she voiced out her doubt of Manaka waking up. She has her eyes cast down to her feet.
"Maybe, but we have to do our best in order to fix what has happened, to save everyone, both land and sea people."
"Is that all, Hikari?" Miuna asks, staring at him straight in the eyes. It might be selfish of her to ask him that now of all times, but she needs to confirm it.
He tilts his head sideways, and frowns in an apprehensive manner. "Getting Manaka back to who she was before is my main priority. I have to help her, she… is my friend, my-" he stops and his cheeks tint a pinkish hue. "She is very important to me."
"You love her, don't you?" the words are out before she realizes she's spoken.
Hikari's startled by the question, and he blinks several times as if he's trying to decipher if she really asked him that. "I-yes." He's flustered and he looks away again.
Miuna takes a deep breath as her stomach plummets down, she feels cold, "-not as a friend though, you're in love with her."
This time, her statement doesn't surprise him. "Mmm." He confirms, eyes bright as he stares at the waves.
Her heart's breaking.
"Everything will turn out okay." She speaks in a shaky voice, looking down at her feet as she tries to hide her incoming tears. "We'll help Manaka-San, and keep everyone we love safe." Miuna tries to sounds optimistic but she can't keep a straight face anymore. She is about to turn away, when Hikari grasps her arm gently and turns her around to face him.
"I will keep you safe too, Miuna."
He has a serious look on his face, and Miuna feels such fire behind those words. And oh God, he knows. She can see it in his eyes, he knows about her secret. Miuna wonders if it has been obvious all along, or if he has just realized it now. It somehow feels like a relief though, and she doesn't care if he sees her tears anymore. She's rendered motionless under his intense gaze. She doesn't understand why he is looking at her like that. It's not pity for not being able to reciprocate her feelings, it's not brotherly love either. It's purely Hikari.
She's a flushed mess of snot, but he's keeping her from falling apart, his warm hand on her wrist, and eyes that tonight are set on her, only on her. "Mmm." She agrees, a small smile dances on her lips, and he follows with one of his own.