Life is Beautiful
Megan was sitting in her friend, Markie's kitchen. She propped her feet up on the kitchen table, showing her familiarity with the place. This place was like her second home... but it wasn't anymore.
Our friend, Callie, and her boyfriend, Marilyn Manson, had inhabited the place. They had nowhere to stay because Callie was a "hobo" and Marilyn got evicted from his shabby studio apartment.
Markie and I took the time to talk this over while they were making a Hot Topic run.
"It's insane! They aren't right for each other at all!" Markie said in frustration, putting her hand to her head.
"Well... Callie does have fads, maybe this is just one of them," I offered.
"No. That's belittling the situation," she insisted.
"Well, I don't know..."
"If you lived with them you would know!" she almost shouted.
"You're right, you're right," I said. "We just have to find something to do with them then."
"Do what? Throw them out on the street? They have no place to go! I love Callie very much, and I would never do that!" Markie said, almost in tears.
"Okay..." I said. Was she hinting at something?
"Well, we just need to find a way to end this relationship. This mess is no good for you or Callie," I advised.
"You're right. But I'd hate to see her get hurt! God, I love her so much!" Markie lashed out in a burst of emotion.
"Like a friend...?" I asked.
"Of course like a friend! I'm still with Susan!" she said, reminding me of her girlfriend, Susan Boyle.
"Yeah, yeah. Sorry for even thinking that," I said, but it didn't diminish the suspicion that I had.
All of the sudden, the front door busted open. I braced myself for this mess.
Too soon, Callie came in the apartment holding Marilyn's hand.
"Hey guys," I said, trying to be nice.
"Hi!" Callie said with a chipper tone in her voice.
She smiled at Markie, and then turned to Marilyn. Her expression changed.
"Ugh, I'm so hungry!" she groaned, putting her hand over her stomach.
"I can make you my famous microwaved swine!" Marilyn offered.
"Ooh, yes! This stuff is delicious," she nodded toward Markie and I.
"Do you guys want any?" Marilyn offered.
"No thanks," we both said in unison.
"Good," he said, getting out a plate, "because I took a decongestant today, and I don't know if I'll have enough for everybody!"
He closed one nostril and snot rocketed out the other, leaving a big pile of green mush on the plate.
My stomach was doing flips. I was gagging and trying to hide it. I felt like I was about to pass out.
"Uh... I'm going to be in the bathroom barfing my liver out if you need me," Markie said before I could.
Callie looked confused, but turned her attention back to Marilyn as he put the yuck in the microwave.
Luckily, Susan arrived in the apartment to save the day. She was probably going to get washed up in one of her childhood stories when I talked to her, but it was better than staying in here watching Callie devour swine flu mucus. .ing.
END OF CHAPTER ONE