Comfort At Heart
Chapter 1: Sleepless Night

AN: This takes place after the final episode and is primarily a Logan/Ororo story.

'These mean character thoughts.'

Disclaimer: I don't own X-men or the characters. They're owned by Marvel. Don't sue.

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In a world of darkness, there is a constant struggle between the inner forces of darkness and light. Those that embrace the light are truly special. They embody a heart of purity and a strength that is untouchable. Such a soul is a beautiful thing, but evil has a way of tainting even the strongest of souls.

Ororo Munroe is considered by many to be one of those beings. As a former weather goddess and trusted teacher of the X-men, she embodied what an up and coming generations of mutants strived to be. She was strong and driven, yet kind and compassionate. Everybody looked up to her. She was a mother figure who cared for the students of the Xavier Institute and would go to great lengths to protect them. And yet she almost killed them with her own hands.

She became a horseman of Apocalypse trying to save her mentor, Charles Xavier. Her soul and humanity were shattered, replaced with rage and hatred. She used her power to control the winds to attack her friends and family, laying waste to a world she fought so hard to protect. She had been touched by darkness. She succumbed to evil. In the end the very students she swore to protect saved her. But the experience stuck with her like scar upon her soul.

Returning to a normal life was all but impossible. She was quieter and more withdrawn. The usual vibrancy in her eyes was gone, replaced by a hallow gaze that hid a world of agony. Others came to her, offering a warm smile and a gentle hug. She spent a great deal of time in her garden, caring for the plants that once gave her so much joy. But it was not enough to undo the pain she felt inside. She was alone, isolated, and lost. And everywhere she turned, she was haunted by nightmares of Apocalypse.

Late at night, a cold wind swept through Ororo's room. She was tossing again, groaning in her sleep at vivid recollections of how it felt being so evil. Her face contorted in pain and desperation. The darkness was suffocating her to the pit of her soul.

"No…please…make it stop," she cried.

But it kept getting worse. She saw herself in the body of her darkened form, unleashing a rage of storms across the landscape of China where the temple of Apocalypse stood. Down below were her friends and family, begging and pleading with her to stop. But she didn't listen. She just looked at them coldly and summoned a tornado that swept them off the ground.

"No…NO!" she cried again, trying to stop herself.

Then it happened. In a flash of lightning, she killed her friends. She killed the family she loved so much. The darkness had won. It was going to overtake her. Then at the last second, she awoke with a pained cry.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ororo shot up in her bed, covered in cold sweat and gasping for air. She was back in her room. All was silent except for the wind wailing through her open window. The air was brisk, reacting to her connection with the weather. It seemed every bit as chaotic as she was. All the former goddess could do was close her eyes and hold back her tears.

Suddenly, her door flew open and Wolverine came barging in with his claws drawn, ready for battle.

"Ro! What's wrong?" he exclaimed, sniffing the air for threats.

But the feral mutant found no enemies or intruders, just a gust of crisp air and the heartbreaking sight of Ororo Munroe crying in her bed.

"Ro?" said Logan, withdrawing his claws and approaching her bed.

"It's…it's alright, Logan," said Ororo through strained words, "It was…it was just a bad dream."

She looked over at him with tears streaming down her face. She clutched her covers, holding back sobs of anguish. It was a tragic sight. Even the usually unemotional Wolverine was taken by it. She looked like she was in a lot of pain. It was a look he knew all too well. Not knowing what to do, he sat on her bed and caressed her face.

"How bad was it?" he asked in his gruff tone.

"I…I don't wish to talk about it," she said, closing her eyes and turning away.

"Fair enough," said Logan, "You gonna be okay?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know."

Ororo let out another round of sobs. She reached out and clutched Logan's hand, needing something to hold onto in her darkest hour. His burly touch offered warmth from the brisk air that filled her room. It helped calm her down and ease her pain.

Logan wasn't sure what to do next. He was all about handling intruders and threats. Comforting a woman in distress was way outside his range of skills. That was something Ororo herself often did. But she seemed to need comfort more than anything now.

"You want me to leave you alone?" he asked her.

"No…stay," she urged him, "Unless you have somewhere else you need to be."

"At two in the morning? Fat chance," scoffed Logan, "Want me to get you something? Water? Tea?"

"I'm fine. Please just stay with me."

Logan did as she asked. She patted the area of the bed beside her, inviting him to sit. Shrugging to himself, he did as she wanted and sat next to her. They didn't say anything. They just sat with their backs resting against the wall. Ororo hugged her knees, gazing out into space with a lost look on her face.

This woman was clearly reeling. Logan didn't blame her after what she went through. Xavier even took him and Hank aside after the whole ordeal to explain it to them how bad it was. He wasn't sure what to do next, but he had to do something. This woman was his friend.

"Want to talk about it?" he offered.

"Not really," she said flatly.

"Okay…" said Logan indifferently, "Want to talk about something else? How about the weather?"

She looked over at him strangely.

"Sorry, bad joke," he said sheepishly.

Ororo managed a slight laugh. It wasn't much, but it was better than sorrow.

"No, it's not that. It's just I didn't think you were the joking type."

"I'm not. Hence the bad joke. If you want I could wake up Elf or Popsicle. They might have something better."

"That's alright," she assured lightheartedly, "I'm not really in a laughing mood."

"Good, because I can't do much for you there," he said, "Hell, I don't know what I can do."

"You're doing enough," she said softly.

Ororo leaned over and rested her head on his burly shoulder. His warmth was a nice feeling, offering a sense of protection and comfort. Logan wasn't used to intimate contact outside of a battle situation, but he didn't resist her actions.

He even found himself enjoying the closeness. Her scent was pleasant, consisting of a mix of natural fragrances and exotic blends. It was soothing in a way and he wasn't the one who needed it. He absorbed this feeling with her, sitting in a comfortable silence. But the distant look on her face lingered.

"Have you talked to the Prof?" asked Logan, finally breaking the silence.

"About what?" she said ambivalently.

"Cut the crap, Ro. You know what I'm talking about."

Ororo let out a deep sigh. Even when he was offering comfort, Logan was still the same crass man he was at heart.

"No…I haven't."

"Any reason why?" he asked, "Or do you not want to talk about that either?"

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it," said the former goddess distantly, "I just don't think I'm ready."

"Not ready because it's too hard or not ready because you don't want to?" questioned Logan.

"Both actually," she muttered, "I honestly wouldn't know where to begin. I had my humanity ripped out and turned to pure hatred! I almost killed the people I loved! How on Earth can anybody even try to talk about that?! How?!"

"Easy darlin'," said Logan in a calm tone, "I didn't mean to get you worked up."

"That's just it!" she sobbed, "Part of me wants to just stand up and scream while the other part of me wants to crawl into a dark corner and have everything go numb. And the pathetic thing is I can't do either! All I have left is nightmares."

She clung harder to Logan's shoulder, holding back sobs of bitterness and remorse. Logan slipped his arm around her waist and hugged her closer. It sounded so familiar and it sickened him. Ororo was the kindest person he had ever known. She was the last one to deserve this torment. He couldn't make it go away, but he could give her some empathy.

"It gets easier," he told her seriously, "Sure it's bad now, but eventually you learn to cope."

"Does it ever go away?" she asked desperately.

"I wish I could say it did, but stuff like this has a way of sticking with you. It'll always be there, reminding you that part of your soul is gone and you can never get it back."

It was disheartening to the former goddess. Even if it was naïve to think that something this heinous could go away, she'd have given anything to leave it all behind.

"So how do you cope, Logan? You seem to manage."

"What the hell gave you that idea?" scoffed Logan, "In case you haven't noticed I'm a wreck. I couldn't tell you the last time I had a full night's sleep and I can't even begin to describe how it feels having a monster inside me. I'm an angry, bitter old man who can barely hold himself together."

"And yet you're still strong enough to go above and beyond to help the students and fight for Xavier's cause," said Ororo, "That feat is worthy of respect. I don't know if I can do what you do. I don't even know why I'm still here."

"You're not thinking of leaving are you?" said Logan with a worried look.

"Of course not," she assured him, "It's not like I have anywhere else to go. This is the only place I've ever had that feels like home. And yet after everything that's happened I feel like I don't belong."

"How can you say that, Ro? You're the heart of the X-men for cryin' out loud! This place would be lost without you."

"Maybe the old me," she said sadly, "But Apocalypse tainted that part of who I am. I just don't think I can be that shining example everybody looks up to anymore."

Logan couldn't believe he was hearing this. Ororo was the last person who would just give in to despair. Apocalypse really did hurt her. He hurt her in a way words could never describe. More tears formed in her eyes. Logan hugged her closer, not knowing if he was making things better or worse. He couldn't let her suffer like this. So he did something he never usually did. He opened up.

"You're wrong, darlin'," he said strongly.

"You don't know that," she sobbed.

"You'd be surprised what I know," he said, cupping her chin and turning her gaze to match his, "Do you have any idea how many times I've been in the position you're in right now? Do you have any clue how many times I've woken up from the same nightmare of Weapon X thinking I'd rather die than live with this?"

His words were strong, yet they bore a distinct honesty Ororo had never heard in Logan's voice before. For all she knew this was the first time he ever talked this openly about it with someone. Desperate for understanding, she listened intently.

"I've had my mind warped, my body poked and prodded, and my free will taken away," he said in a deep tone, "It's a cold feeling, having no conscious and no soul. It tears at you on every level because all those deep dark feelings take over. You feel so empty inside you just want to scream until your lungs explode. But no matter how hard you scream it still hurts."

Another tear fell down Ororo's cheek. Logan's words were a harsh reminder of darkest thoughts she struggled with. He described them with uncanny accuracy. The look in his eye was the same look she saw in the mirror every time she looked at herself. She huddled in closer to his body. He managed a slight smile as he wiped the tear from her face. But he wasn't done yet.

"It may eat at you now, but believe it or not it can make you stronger in the long run."

"Stronger? How?" asked Ororo.

"By revealing strength that wouldn't have shown otherwise," he elaborated, "It's hard to explain, but you never know how strong you are until you survive something really bad. If you're still standing, alive and well with air in your lungs and a beating heart still in your chest that's one thing. But if you're still you after the whole ordeal, that's something special."

Logan then went on to caress her beautiful face. That hallow look in her eyes faded slightly and he saw a new light. Maybe he wasn't so bad at this comforting stuff after all. He just spoke from what he knew by experience.

"After I went through Weapon X, I didn't even know who I was," he went on, "I don't even know if the man I am now is anything like the man I was before. But you're different. Even after being a meat puppet for some 5,000 year old psycho, you're still Ororo Munroe. He couldn't take that away from you. That alone shows me you're strong enough to get through this."

Ororo thought about that for a moment. Logan's sentiment was undeniably sincere. Nobody would have believed her, but she felt it first hand. Logan, the Wolverine, had opened up to her and actually showed some emotion.

It gave her a great sense of comfort. She felt so alone after everything that happened, but Logan knew. He went through the same ordeal with Weapon X. She never truly understood his torment until experiencing it herself. It gave her a new respect for the man everybody saw as such a mystery and a new hope that maybe she could get through this.

"But I…I'm just not sure," she said distantly.

"Give it time," said Logan, "I know it's hard, but you can't forget who you are. You've got a lot going for you, Ro. You're smart, you're beautiful, and a lot of people love you. You may not think you're strong enough now, but I know you are. You may not believe me, but believe me when I say I understand."

"I do," said the former goddess with a gentle smile, "I really do."

It was the first time she gave someone an honest smile. There was no façade or deception. It was a true gesture of affection to a man not known for being affectionate. And while he didn't show it, seeing her smile again touched Logan in a deep level.

"I promise I'll be there for you if you need me," he told her, "If at any time the dreams get too bad or the memories get too harsh, come to me and I'll do what I can."

"Thank you, Logan," said Ororo softly, "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anythin', darlin'," he said with a grin, "Just remember I'm always here."

Next, Logan did something unexpected. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. He didn't think about it. He didn't rationalize it. He just did it. Ororo didn't expect it either, but it gave her more comfort than any reassurance ever could. One gesture was all it took. And all of the sudden it didn't seem so hard anymore.

Logan and Ororo sat in silence. There was nothing left to say. Logan had reached the end. Opening up wasn't easy, but it felt good nonetheless. Ororo was probably the only person who truly understood. It was ironic. She was a goddess and he was an animal, yet they understood the deepest darkest pains. She felt good in his arms. Her body offered a peaceful sense of warmth while his body offered a secure aura of protection. It seemed fitting that this was the one person he found comfort with.

Ororo still struggled with how she was going to handle herself now. She had a darkness in her soul that could never be undone, but at least she had someone by her side to help her manage. Looking up at Logan, she saw more than just the brutish warrior with a heart of gold so many respected and feared. There was a real man inside that burly exterior. And she was thankful to have him with her during her darkest hour.

"Are you okay to sleep?" asked Logan, breaking the silence.

"I think so," she said distantly.

"Just get what you can," he said reassuringly, "It'll get easier."

"I trust your word."

Ororo smiled and he smiled back. The sobs of anguish stopped and she looked better. Logan still didn't think of himself as the kind of guy who shared emotional moments with people, but he did okay for himself with this one. She needed it and so did he.

He reluctantly slipped out of her embrace and got off the bed to make his leave.

"See ya in the morning, darlin'," he told her.

"Wait…" she said, stopping him before he could take another step, "Could you…could you do me one last favor, Logan?"

"Sure, what is it?"

Ororo looked away in embarrassment. She couldn't believe she was thinking this. She could barely get the words out. For all she knew she was breaking one of Xavier's rules, but she couldn't stand the thought of being alone again. So she just came out and said it.

"Stay with me, tonight," she said simply.

"Huh? You mean…"

"Yes," she said, filling in the blanks, "Sleep with me in my bed."

Logan looked at her expression. She seemed serious. While the idea of sleeping in bed with a beautiful woman had its appeals, this was Ororo. She was his best friend. If he had a nightmare and started thrashing, she could get hurt. He couldn't have that. He couldn't live with himself if something happened to her because of him. But that longing look in her face was too strong to ignore.

"Are you sure? Not that I mind, but…" he stammered.

"I'm sure. I just…I don't want to be alone tonight. I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you were with me."

Logan rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. If the students found out about this they'd never hear the end of it. But she needed comfort and he was the only one who could give it to her. He understood her pain and she understood his. It seemed like the only way.

"Okay," he said, "If you think it'll help."

"I know it will," said Ororo with a smile.

Setting aside the innate uncertainty, Ororo pulled back the sheets and invited Logan into her bed. It was a little strange at first. Ororo's bed was a lot different than his. For one, it was a lot cleaner and softer. She also had more sheets and they were a lot smoother and softer than the ones he used. Her mattress was also softer. His bed was practically cardboard. It would be different, but it felt good in a meaningful way.

Once under the covers, Ororo snuggled up against his burly warmth. He willingly took her in his arms, getting another deep whiff of her heavenly scent. He was still a little tense. He had been in bed with women before, but not like this. Ororo wasn't just some pretty face with a sexy body. She was a very special woman and holding like this felt like a divine gift.

"Thank you, Logan," she said softly, "Say what you will, but you're a very sweet man."

"Anytime, darlin'," he grinned, "Just don't go spreadin' the word, okay?"

"You're secret is safe with me."

As if to seal the deal, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. It was just as unexpected as the kiss he gave her, only this one had more meaning. It was a nice feeling. Ororo smiled again, feeling so warm and comfortable in Logan's embrace. She nuzzled her head at the nook on his shoulder, holding on as she closed her eyes and let her tired mind rest. All the painful memories of Apocalypse remained, but having someone to share such pain with made it easier.

Logan stayed awake a while longer, watching carefully as Ororo nodded off. He found himself fixated on her face. It was strange. He had been living with her under the same roof for years now, but he never saw her in this light before. Maybe it was because she understood him now. Or maybe it had always been there and it took something horrible like Apocalypse to help them realize it. But for whatever reason he was thankful to have this woman in his arms tonight. And as he slowly nodded off, Logan got his first peaceful sleep in a long time.

It was a powerful sign. Through the darkness, Logan and Ororo came together. They opened up to each other and they understood each other. The connection had been made. Something new and wonderful had begun on this night and the morning would bring a new beginning for them. Perhaps it would lead to something deeper. But for now, they rested. And as they lay in each others' arms, the two tormented souls finally found comfort.

Up next: One night changes everything.