This was a challenge given to me by Victoria Levi
_________________________________________________________________________________
Conditions of the challenge:
*One hour time limit to write
*Pairing must be Sai and Sakura
*First line has to be "Noooooooo!"
*Must include these items:
*sour milk
*bandaid
*a leaf
*The characters have to at one point talk about someone but not mention their name at all.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Nooooooooo!"
A resounding scream of sorrow and pain echoed in the night.
"Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!" she screamed again, her face frozen in a mesh of horror and disappointment. Sakura sighed. This was the third time she'd tried this pie recipe Ino had given her, and the third time it had failed completely. She couldn't understand why. That Ino Pig must have given her the wrong recipe... or messed up the amounts for the ingredients! That little bitch... She was going to pay for this in the morning. Sakura let the pie slide into the garbage can, adding to the tower of failure she had begun to build. She put away the flour, salt and sugar back into the cupboard. As she reached for the milk, she accidentally knocked it over, its contents flowing across the table. "Arrrgh! It never ends, does it!" she cursed as she picked up the milk bottle and quickly tried to wipe away the spillage. She paused. What was that awful smell? She looked around. She'd noticed something smelling a bit off earlier, but had presumed it was the neighbours burning random garbage instead of just the leaves they were supposed to. Sakura sniffed around the room some more. She sniffed her arm. Hmm. Odd. It didn't smell like that before. A realisation dawned upon her. It was the milk. The milk had gone sour, and that was what the smell was! And that was why her pies had failed...
She felt a bitter sting of resentment over not being able to blame Ino for this mess, it was all her own fault. She finished cleaning, and went to bed shortly after.
Meanwhile, a dark figure lurked in the shadows outside her house. The figure slipped in through a narrow crack in the window and looked around in the darkness. Something bad had definitely happened here he thought as he looked around. The place was a mess. Some weird gooey substance on the floor. Blood? He bent down, rubbed the material between his fingers and sniffed it. No... something else. He had to find her. He had to see if she was ok. He crept over into the next room, tip toeing as softly as he could. He sensed someone was there, but who? The perpetrator was still there? A robber? A pervert? According to page 132 in 'The Guide to Winning Over Women' taking down a criminal and saving a damsel in distress was a sure-fire way to gain the adoration of a woman. This was his chance! This would most certainly help with team dynamics! The silent intruder was convinced his logic was infallible, and page 133 in the same book proved it: 'If the woman in question is a co-worker, she will undoubtedly be impressed and look up to you as someone to depend on in future.' If he followed all the steps laid out in the book she was bound to forget all about this Sasuke guy and consider him a reliable and strong man - a perfect specimen to father her children. After all, that was what women wanted, right?
"Hyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A foot crashed into he intruder's face and sent him flying into the wall. Ouch. That would leave a mark. Before he regained his senses his jaw was was smashed by an uppercut and another fist pushed deep into his stomach. He was officially KO'd.
Sakura turned the light on to see who the sneaky pervert was who dared enter her house.
"Sai!??!!"
"Mmmf..." he managed to reply.
"What the HELL are you doing here?! I thought you were some pervert or a burglar sneaking in!"
"Mmmf..." he said again.
Sakura sighed. It couldn't be helped. She helped him up into a chair and began looking at his wounds. He wasn't exactly the pervert type, and he wasn't about to steal anything either, so what was he doing in her house at 2 a.m. in the morning? Sai groaned as she touched an already growing bruise on his face. "Hmm, nothing broken. Aren't you lucky eh?"
Sai whimpered. "Geez, for someone who was in ANBU Root, you're a bit of a baby. Well, you seem ok, just a little cut here on your neck from slamming into the wall I guess. Let me get you a bandaid."
Sai stared at her as she went into the bathroom. His grand master plan had failed. Plus, she thought a bandaid would be enough to heal his wounds!? She almost killed him! Vicious wench. He was supposed to save her, why won't she let him do it? He heaved a great sigh. This whole interpersonal relationship was a large pile of horse shit. He just couldn't figure it out. Maybe he should just retire, live in the woods alone and paint all day.
Sakura returned, bandaid in hand. "There, we go, good as new!" she smiled as she slapped it on, enjoying watching Sai wince just a little bit too much.
"So, are you going to tell me why you were sneaking around in my house?"
Sai looked at her, and smiled his usual enigmatic smile. "I was just trying to save you!"
Sakura looked puzzled. "Er...save me from what exactly?"
Now it was Sai's turn to look confused. "I heard you screaming, so I came to save you! You were supposed to be grateful and see me as dependable and strong! It was supposed to be good for team dynamics!" he explained, thinking briefly about his own selfish wishes for improved romantic opportunities as well. He had never experienced love, and he had understood from the books that this was something necessary for all humans to feel at some point in their lives. He wasn't about to give up now.
Sakura laughed. "Ohhh, no...sorry! I was just frustrated because of some baking problems I had."
Sai nodded sagely. "That's understandable, you ARE a terrible cook after all. Those soldier pills..." he started.
Sakura glared. "Don't push it, Sai."
He shut up. He didn't need any more injuries. There would be questions at tomorrow's mission briefing about his bruises already. He didn't need to show up with any broken bones as well.
Sakura sat down on her bed and leaned back. "It was a nice sentiment, though," she said.
"Er...yes. It was. Umm. What was?"
Sai took out his notebook, ready to jot down what she was about to say. Perhaps it hadn't all been in vain after all!
Sakura sat up straight again, her cheeks were a bit flushed. "Well, you know... even though a girl as strong as I am..."
"Yeah, you are a bit of a tank..."
Quick glare. Silence.
"As I was saying, it's nice for a girl to feel protected by a guy sometimes. Even though I can take care of myself. Of course." she said, a bit indignantly.
"I see," Sai said, taking notes furiously.
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know why you read so much and write so much. You can't learn real human emotions or understand human feelings that way! You have to experience it..."
"But I did well this time, right?" he beamed.
"No! You broke into my house and I kicked the crap out of you!" Sakura laughed.
Sai sighed. Maybe it was impossible, after all.
"But seriously, to understand people, you have to...get to know them, ask them questions, find out what they like... spend time with them," she continued.
Sai pondered. "You mean like you did with..."
"Don't say his name."
Another glare. Another silence.
"He's...he was...different. He needed guidance or help...or something. More than what I could give him anyway. That's why he left. And that's why I'm going to bring him back. I'm stronger now. This time he'll see that."
She sighed. "So...you still have...feelings for him?" Sai asked softly.
Sakura nodded, then shook her head slightly. "I...I don't really know. He's a different person now, I guess. I desperately wish he would be as he was before, but I know that's impossible. I adore a shadow - a picture of what used to be."
She sighed. "But I won't give up, even so. Even if he's not the one, he needs to come back. He belongs here."
Sai nodded to show he understood. He didn't really, but page 25 said that women liked to be listened to, and if you could fake understanding and empathy as well, it was a clear bonus. It seemed to be working, because Sakura smiled again. "You know, you're not so bad, really. A little bit awkward and socially inept, but... you're really quite sweet, aren't you?"
Sai nodded again, this time following the advice of chapter 4: Women like sensitive, but confident men. He decided to risk a move from Chapter 10, and got up from his chair to sit next to her on the bed.
"I'm sorry I broke into your house, Sakura."
Again, that enigmatic smile that hid whatever he was really thinking.
"That's ok, you meant well. And...no harm done, right?"
She grinned. Sai blinked. "U-uh...no, I guess not."
He winced as he pressed a bruise. Sakura nudged him. "That was a joke, you know."
"Oh...oh, I see. That was funny." (Chapter 5, page 72 - flatter her and agree with her no matter what.)
Sakura reached up over Sai's head. He ducked and tried to pull away, groaning from the pain as he only managed to drop off the bed onto the floor with a heavy thump. "Tsch, scaredy cat. I was just trying to pull a leaf out of your hair."
Sakura slid off the bed next to him, tugging softly at his hair. "See?"
She held up a small, tattered oak leaf.
"Well, I guess I should be going, it's late and we have that mission briefing tomorrow." (Chapter 14, page 250 - leave them wanting more)
He got up to leave, but her hand held him down. "No, stay."
"Bu..."
"Just stay."
Sakura tried soften her request. "I mean, it's already so late it doesn't really matter, plus you're still in pain. And... do you really want to be seen in public with THAT?"
She pointed at the spot she'd stuck on the bandaid.
"What about it, what's wrong?"
Sakura grinned and pulled up a mirror for Sai to see. "Wha- what's this?" he asked, fingering the bandaid, peering closely into the mirror.
"You don't know Goodbye Neko-chan?? Geez, you really DO have a lot to learn."
"I suppose I do."
A pause.
"Will you teach me, Sakura?"
The pink haired girl looked at him, surprised. "I mean... teach me it all. About people, about things people like or don't like, what to say...what to do...what you like..." his voice trailed off.
Sakura smiled. He really was sweet, after all. "Of course, if you want!"
"Well, since I'm staying a while... can we start now?"
Again Sakura gave him a slightly puzzled look. "Well, sure...what do you want to know?"
Sai turned to her, his eyes shining with excitement. "Well, for example..."
"Hmm, what movies I like, my favourite song or book?" she offered.
"No..."
"Then what?"
Sai sat up straight and smiled. "Like, is one of your boobs bigger than the other? I know it may be hard to tell cause they're so small, but... Also, with French kissing do you prefer if a guy swirls his tongue around or kind of goes from side to side? My books says tha-"
CRASH!
Sakura, red-faced and furious had sent Sai into the wall again.
"You disgusting pig! You haven't changed at all! You're still that infuriating, arrogant...arrrgh!!! I take back everything I said, and I'm taking this back too!"
She ripped the bandaid from Sai's skin.
"Owww!"
"Get out of my house before I beat you again, and damn you if you ever mention this to anyone, you hear me!?"
Sai nodded as well as he could with Sakura's fist pressed up against his chin. He got up slowly and painfully and limped out the door.
She slammed it shut behind him and slunk down to the floor, leaning against door and sighing.
"And to think I actually wanted him to kiss me..."
Sakura stood up, turned the lights off again and went back to bed. Well, he was admittedly a bit of a work in progress, but she'd beat him into shape in time. And then she'd have the perfect boyfriend...
Sakura slipped into sweet dreams of wonderful dates, presents and a jealous Ino...