This is my first Star Trek fanfic, and I welcome any and all concrit, praise and even flames if they are used for a constructive purpose. Just a bit of humour.

'What are you doing?'

Jim Kirk looked up in surprise. Spock stood, casually leaning against a tree, not 10 feet away from him.

'What does it look like?' he said, quickly hiding his surprise. Spock raised his eyebrow.

'Doing a dance?' A small smile quirked the corner of Spock's lips. He continued. 'It seems to me that you are stamping your feet while moving around in circles for no apparent reason.' Maintaining his casualness, he moved closer to Kirk. Kirk looked at him.

'Spock, are you aware of the existence of a small, almost microscopic Earth species of insect called Aenictus atratus, by any chance?'

If possible, Spock's eyebrow rose even further. 'The common ant, Jim?'

'Yes, the bloody ANT!' Jim almost growled, continuing to stamp his feet.

'And what do ants have to do with your rather peculiar actions?'

Kirk looked at him as if he was crazy. 'Did you know that I hate ants? Try to avoid them if I can?'

Spock looked mildly interested. 'No, Jim, I was not aware of that fact.' He paused. 'I still do not see what ants have to do with – '

'Jesus, Spock! Did you know that this place is practically crawling with the little mongrels?!?!'

Spock nodded with understanding. 'Ahhh, ants…' He trailed off in an almost unseen display of humour. Kirk groaned in frustration.

'Spock! Ants! Crawling all over my legs!'

'Your… concern, as it may be, is completely illogical.'

Kirk looked at Spock, incredulous. 'What?'

'You are aware that ants are quite small?'

'Yes, I had noticed that.'

'Then you must also know that they are incapable of doing you any lasting harm.'

'Spock!'

Spock continued, ignoring Kirk. 'Therefore, there is no need for you to be stomping all over the ground in an attempt to shake them off. They cannot hurt you.'

'Gosh, Spock, get to the point.'

Spock turned and looked at him. 'Jim, did it ever occur to you to move out of the ants?'

Kirk paused. Looked at Spock. Immediately started swatting at his legs. 'Yeech, Spock, they bite!'

'Of course they do, Jim. What did you expect?'

Kirk glared at him. 'Well, how's about you come over here and let them bite you?' he said, acidly.

'That would be most illogical. The logical course would be for you to move over to me, as there is a considerably lesser concentration of ants around here.'

Kirk grinned. 'Finally! Some sense!' He hopped, jumped and swatted his way over to Spock. Once there, he spent a few moments eradicating every last ant from his clothing, much to Spock's amusement.

'Jim, I daresay you have managed to rid yourself of all of the ants. May we return to the campsite now?'

Kirk looked up at Spock. 'That's one of the best ideas I've heard all day,' he said, walking beside Spock. 'Would you care for a swim once we get back?'

Spock pondered this. 'I believe a swim would be… most beneficial.'

Kirk couldn't stop the smile spreading across his face. He offered his arm to his First Officer, friend, confidant, and brother, but most of all, he offered his arm to his beloved, his t'hy'la, and they walked back to camp, hand in hand.