"Can't Feel It"

By: Eliyora

Eliyora: I swear to God I have no idea where this came from. I'm sitting in front of my computer, reading a Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfiction, It's sunny outside, and the next thing I know, a big old rain story pops into my brain. (sigh) Oh well. Let's enjoy what my random brain comes up with.

LINELINELINELINELINE

Eliyora wandered around the robot aimlessly. She had decided to come over earlier when it was cloudy because she was bored and wanted to pick on Otto, but now she was stuck there because the clouds had turned black and let loose an almost unholy torrent. Now she was bored out of her mind and seeking something to do to occupy herself. Otto, who had just laughed as she'd teased him, was at present working on some new invention, Nova and Sprx were together somewhere enjoying some personal time, Chiro and Jinmay were watching a movie together, and Gibson was in his lab as per usual, and she didn't feel like messing up one of his experiments. That just left Antauri, and he had mysteriously disappeared not too long after it had begun raining.

"Dammit. I am freakin' BORED!!!" she screeched at no one in particular. Sighing, she decided that she might as well go watch it rain. It was something she and her mother had done back on her home world of Melekie when she was a child.

She took a transport tube up to the robot's shoulder, deciding that would be a great place to just sit and stare. She opened the door, fully intent on sitting just inside it and staring out. She was surprised to see that there was something a little more interesting than falling water withing view of the open door.

"Ani?" she said. The missing silver monkey was sitting on the edge of the robot's shoulder, letting the rain pour over his metal body. He didn't seem to hear Eliyora, so she called again, "Ani?"

Antauri heard her that time. He turned his head to her and calmly said, "Yes?" as though there was nothing odd about him sitting in the pouring rain by himself.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" she snapped, hurrying out to him. She shivered as the rain hit her. "Jeez, it's freezing out here! Come on, let's get you inside! I don't want you to freeze to death."

Antauri let out a short laugh. "You go inside. I'm in no danger of freezing," he replied. Had she not been so close she would have missed it, but there was a slight tone in his voice that told her that something was wrong.

"Ani, what's the matter?" she asked.

Antauri smiled at her. "Nothing, Nee-chan. I'm just fine."

"I don't believe you," Eliyora replied. "You know better than to try to lie to me."

He sighed. "I'm not lying, not really. It's not something that's wrong, just something that I can't quite get used to."

Eliyora raised an eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean?" she asked, sitting next to him.

Antauri lifted his head to stare at the sky. "Is it cold out here?" he asked.

Eliyora looked at him like he was crazy. "Well, yeah! It's f****** freezing!"

Antauri sighed. "I see." He continued to stare at the clouds. Eliyora waited, knowing that there had to be more coming. After several minutes, he said, "I can't tell."

"Can't tell?" she responded, sincerely surprised.

"Well, my sensors tell me that it's a lower temperature than normal, but I can't tell myself," Antauri elaborated. After a moment, he added, "I can't feel how cold it is."

Eliyora didn't speak. He couldn't feel how cold it was? Her first thought was, 'Lucky you!' She did not give voice to that thought, though. She knew better. There was something about this fact that troubled Antauri.

Antauri gave her a sad smile. "I can't feel it at all, Nee-chan. I can't feel how cold it is when it rains, or how warm it gets when the sun is out. I can't feel the rain on my body, I can't feel the wind blowing, I can't even feel the metal of the robot where I'm sitting on it. I can't feel it."

Eliyora remained silent. What was she supposed to say to that? He couldn't feel anything? At all? That was something that she couldn't imagine.

"I made the choice myself, of course," Antauri continued. "I chose to give up my living body in a attempt to stop the Dark One Worm. I told you everything that happened, and I don't regret my choice, but this is something that I just can't quite become used to."

"Ani..."

"I can barely remember what is was like, to feel the rain, the wind, the sun. I'm not used to it, but I'm somehow forgetting. I think that's why I came to sit out here, to see if I could recall something."

"And?"

Antauri shook his head. "I can't. I just don't remember. I never liked being in the rain, but now I know how much I took it for granted. Even if it were all I could feel, I'd love to just feel the rain again."

Eliyora just watched him while he stared at the heavens, saddened by his words. After a few minutes, she reached to him and surprised him by pulling him into a hug.

"I know you can't feel this either, Ani, but can you remember what this feels like? Can you remember what it feels like when someone hugs you?" she whispered sadly.

Antauri just sat there and let his Nee-chan hold him for a few minutes. He then snuggled closer to the comforting warmth that he could not feel, but did remember. "I do. This is not something I could ever forget. You always would hug me whenever I was hurt or upset, and it always helped me to feel better. That comfort is not one that can be forgotten."

Eliyora smiled sadly. Even if he couldn't feel it now, at least he could still take comfort in being held. It was one of those little things about Antauri that he kept hidden from general knowledge, that he liked to be held. Thinking about it, she realized that he probably hid it now because he could no longer feel it and take the same comfort that someone was right there that he had so long ago on Koraladol. It broke he heart to know that her little brother could not enjoy life the same way he had back then.

After a few minutes, Eliyora remembered how cold it was outside when a sharp snap of wind whipped around her fur. Shivering, she said, "We should go inside. Just because you can't freeze to death doesn't mean that I can't."

Antauri smiled, standing up and helping her to her feet. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Eliyora said, returning the smile.

As they walked inside, Antauri whispered, "Thank you."