Author's note: This is a song parody I wrote while hanging around on the Godawful Fan Fiction forums. Somebody had posted a link to a "Lion King" badfic where Scar raped practically every character in the story; after reading fifteen horrendous descriptions of a lion's genitalia, my mind was so broken that I decided to take refuge in song parody. That's what this is all about: basically, it's Scar's reaction to all the fic being written about him. Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: Scar, the hyenas, and other associated "Lion King" characters and concepts are property of Disney. This parody is written purely for entertainment and not for profit in any way. Please don't sue.
"The Lion's Thing"
by Morrigan, the Nightmare Queen
Scar:
I'm aware that your slight comprehension
Is as warped as a fangirl can be
But thick as you are, must you mention
Just how "endowed" a lion can be?
It's clear from your turgid prose style
Your hands are not both on the keys
But we're not talking simple denial!
Even you must have limits to reach
Or prepare for the threat of a lifetime
Be prepared for my fury unleashed
A villain, a bastard
A lord and a master
Writer:
Why, what are you saying?
Scar:
Prey, quiet your braying!
I know it sounds naughty
But though I act haughty
And I rule over lions and herds
This slander shall not be endured!
Be prepared!
Chorus of hyenas:
It seems we're in heat every hour
Or else we're all morons agape
Scar:
The writers don't understand power
I don't ineed/i to coerce or to rape
I'm a king with my subjects a-tremble
But the lions ain't all in my sway
If I went and abused that young Nala
Do you think I'd last one more day?
I'd be killed! Like a dog in the gutters
So you writers will soon hear from me
Violation of canon
Replacement with fanon
Character slaughter
Is why I now oughtter
Hunt down every fool
Who slanders my rule
And makes me a lustful old goat!
Not a libelous knave shall be spared
Be prepared!
Chorus of hyenas:
Not a libelous knave shall be spared
Be prepared!