When I Close My Eyes
Chapter 1
Touched
::Logan's POV::
First there were only her eyes, green and hard, I couldn't take my eyes away to look around me but I had a sense that there would soon be nothing. Then the air in the room disappeared and her eyes left me. I was speaking but the words made no sense and probably had no sound to back them up. I was breathless and felt like I was floating, everything was bright, no, more like glowing. I could hear her voice murmur in all through out my head. It was soothing and somehow arousing at the same time, her deep southern accent teasing me. I realized what was happening when my throat began to burn as if I had just chugged a bottle of hot whiskey.
It was somewhat painful at first, the air leaving my lungs and my brain shutting down. I felt like plastic melting slowly while the sun beats down on it. This was very familiar, it has happened before, twice, but this time it was different. Much different. I couldn't speak, see, or breath. But I could smell this time; I could smell her all over me. Her scent became stronger and I began breath again, taking in quick gasps of air. I became warm and felt as if something was lifted off of me. Like all my troubles were gone, I felt careless and content...I was...happy?
It was a very unusual and pleasant feeling. I hadn't felt this way in a long time. And here I am, dying, and happy. It was as if every care in the world had gone, including Jean. It was almost as if I was loosing memories of her. I kept trying to think about her, say her name, see her face, but I had forgotten how to pronounce it. In ways it was relieving, but then I became afraid that I was only fading away, with my sorrow for her. I was disappearing like she had.
Suddenly I forgot what I was thinking and heard that southern voice again. It was clearer now, she was saying my name. It made me smile even though she sounded so frightened, and I could tell that I had a huge grin on my face. I began to smell her even more, she reeked of fear and loneliness. I began to breathe easier, no longer gasping for the air, and I became warmer. But not too warm, just warm enough. Like I was soaking in a bathtub that has just been filled. This was such a wonderful sensation, comfortable and nothing to care about or make me feel anything but this. With a grin on my lips I opened my eyes. There was green, white, and brown all mixed together in a blur right in front of me.
"Marie?..." I wasn't sure if I had said it or just thought it.
: Earlier That Night:
4:00am. I couldn't sleep and it was begging to piss me off. I also couldn't get the pervious day's events out of my mind. Dr. Jean Grey's funeral. It is getting annoying and hard to think of anything else. Jean, Jean, Jean. That red haired woman is making me suffer for killing her. I winced when I reminded myself of what I had done. My heart felt like it was cracking into little pieces that only the most graceful fingers could put back together. For some reason that made me think of Marie, her fragile untouched fingers. Thank Jesus, I needed someone else to think about.
I hadn't talked to Marie since she left to get 'cured.' I had seen her at Jean's, I winced again saying her name in my mind, funeral. I remember watching her, sitting next to Bobby Drake with a lost look in her eyes. She looked lonely even though she was around a crowd of people. It was as if she was the only person there, by her self sinking deep into her troubles. I knew she was troubled, I could see it in her face. I kinda like it, how passionate her feelings are, rather she's sad or glad. I could never feel as passionate as she does. I feel bad for her, she deserves to be happy. Hmm... Maybe I should go cheer her up. A brilliant idea, it would be nice to see her.
I hurried out of my room and made way towards hers. Half way there I realized that is was almost five in the morning now. I had forgotten how late it was, I didn't want to wake her up. I stopped in my tracks and thought for a moment. Hell, she'll be mad but I'm gonna wake her up anyway. I'll make it up to her by taking her out on Scott's bike. That brought up a few painful memories of Jean but I shook it off and walked faster.
As I got closer to her room I could hear her grunting and moaning. I sighed thinking that she was in there with that ice cube brat touching her no longer untouchable skin. My heart sank, but at the same time thinking that she could be touched now made me happy. I mean that's what she wanted. I heard another grunt and my over protective side got the best of me and I became angry, he was touching my Marie. Yeah, nobody knows it, not even her, but she's mine. I was the only one who could touch her for longer than 2 minutes before she got the cure, and now that she is touchable and anybody can caress her soft face I feel…jealous I suppose. I got a little closer to the door, even though she wasn't speaking the noises coming from her kind of clamed me. Then I realized that they weren't moans and grunts of pleasure. Instead of smelling Drake my nose tickled with stress and fright, from Marie.
I hurried and opened her door. Her blanket was on the floor in a heap and she was tangled up in her sheets tossing around in a nightmare. She was wearing a white tank top and very short bottoms. They were dark green, her favorite color, right now my favorite. I hadn't seen her in such revealing clothes before and I had a horrible urge to reach out and touch her, her body looked so soft and inviting. Gah, I've got to stop thinking smut about her, she's too beautiful to have me thinking these...arousing...thoughts about her. I gulped and then realized that I am standing here fantasizing about her while she's tossing and turning. I debated if I should wake her up or not but then I heard words come from those lush deep red lips of hers.
"N...no...please..." She muttered. The expression on her face was full of pain.
I got defensive almost as if someone was in the room with us trying to hurt her.
"...leave...him alone..." She tossed and her back was facing me.
"Rogue?" I spoke, hesitantly.
"Ugh...Logan…"
Did she really say my name or was I imagining it?
"Marie?" I said loudly this time. "Kid, wake up."
I reached my hand out to touch her, wake her, but before I could make contact I heard someone in the hall way walking towards us. Still in my protective mood, I growled and turned facing the door way, my fists ready to reveal my claws any minute. If someone was going to mess with Marie, they were going to have to get past me. But of course it was only ice prick. I ignored him and looked back down at Marie, still mumbling and twisting around in the sheets.
"She's having one of your nightmares," Bobby spoke, still standing at the door way. I heard him but didn't say anything. I became overwhelmed with guilt. Beautiful, innocent Marie was being tortured by the same nightmares I have, because her skin took in my innermost demons?
"She still has part of you stuck in her head even though she's been cured," Bobby hissed.
I reached in to touch her shoulder, to wake her and get away from the horrible images that bonded us. She gasped and I felt something very familiar, I kept my hand locked onto her shoulder as she sat up and heard Drake yell my name.
::Marie's POV::
Ah felt like I was bein' electrocuted. A strong burnin' sensation carried throughout my veins and my skin became very hot and tingly. It cooled quickly and ah became overwhelmed with strength. Ah felt as if I could pick up the whole mansion and throw it. Next something weird happened; my body became heavy and ached with horrible pain, but only for a few minutes. It felt like something was pushing my body down while ah was trying to sit up. The pain left after a while and ah felt cold. It did this for a while. When it stopped ah could smell Wolverine all around me. His scent was a mix of leather, cigar smoke, and musk. Ah liked it, the smell of a real man.
Ah blinked a couple of times opening my eyes and realized that Logan was holdin' tightly onto my arm. I gasped knowing what was happening, this wasn't a nightmare anymore, ah could feel his grasp on me, it felt too real. It was warm and calloused. Cure my ass, ah was suckin' the life right out of 'em. For some reason he wouldn't let go of me. Ah screamed, un-gloved ah couldn't pull him off me. Bobby grabbed a hold of him and pulled him away. Now Logan was on the floor convulsing. He had held onto me for too long. Ah was about to panic but found myself leaning off the side of the bed and touching him again. Ah had no control over my body at this point. Bobby's eyes got wide and scared and looked at me as if ah were a stranger. My skin got cold, freezin', and the strength ah had consumed was quickly fading and ah became very weak and light headed as ah touched Logan.
He grinned and ah continued to touch him and than after his eyes opened ah quickly let go. Before I slumped onto the floor ah saw Logan look me straight in my eyes.
Logan? Bobby? My vision left me and everything went black, my head pounded and Logan's thoughts consumed my mind before it went blank.
: Vast:
Flames
Close your eyes
Let me touch you now
Let me give you something that is real
Close the door Leave your fears behind
Let me give you what you're giving me
You are the only thing
That makes me want to live at all
When I am with you
There's no reason to pretend that
When I am with you I feel flames again
Just put me inside you
I would never ever leave
Just put me inside you
I would never ever leave you