It was nights like this that you missed him the most.
The familiar scent of apples hung in the air as you laid in bed praying for sleep. You turned on you side staring out at the window at the moon. It was so clear.
It was nights like this.
You sit up in bed, trying your best to not wake the sleeping figure beside you. You glanced down and see the peaceful figure of your husband sound asleep beside you. Even in his sleep you could still see the kindness in his face, a warmth that was far and few between. Though his dark hair was speckled with grey and lines played on his boyish features, you could still see the man you fell in love with so many years ago.
But it's not him.
You tense at the intrusive thought. How many years has it been since you had that come across your mind? A few, you remind yourself as you stand. You tip toe across the room, avoiding all the creaking floorboards as best you could. You didn't need to explain to your husband yet again why you were sleepless.
He knew very little about what had happened to you over the course of that year. You felt it was best that he didn't know of your pirating ways. As wonderful as he was, you knew he wouldn't understand.
"You did what?" you could almost hear him say, "you loved who?"
Of course, that would be his reaction. You told yourself that a million times. How could he react in any other way? Sometimes you even found yourself questioning what had happened. How could a village girl have ended up in such a mess?
You chuckle to yourself as you peak into the room across from yours. Your son was as quiet as could be. His dark hair a mess as he lay sprawled across the bed. This is what you always wanted.
This is what you always wanted. You repeat the sentence in your head as you descend the stairs. You love your family more than anything. A simple life is what you wanted. A loving husband that would do anything for you. A son who was so eager to become a marine and show the world what he was made of. This is what you wanted.
But it was nights like this that made you think what if?
The air was cool as you stepped out on the porch. The apple trees lining the walk way to your house cast shadows across the path to the beach. You loved it here. Your childhood home held a large part of your heart.
But wouldn't somewhere else be nice too?
You shook your head as you make your way down the path. The beach is where you did your best thinking. The sound of the crashing waves, the moon illuminating everything around you. It soothed you; brought you back to a different time. You were so young when you had first seen him. He was towering, all encompassing and scared you beyond belief. In those first moments you wished to be anywhere but on that ship. How could you have been so stupid? Of all the ships to stowaway on you had to choose that one. Death; you prayed for it. Your mind raced as his looming figure grew closer. What would happen? What torture awaited you that night? You had heard of his cruelty and the number of causalities his crew had caused.
Yet nothing happened.
You brushed a greying hair out of your face as you continued to stare out at the sea. The rhythmic symphony of the waves coaxed the memories to come flooding back. So many memories, all as vivid as the day they happened.
His flaming red hair, that smirk, the unrelenting drive he possessed in times of peril. That's what you had loved about him the most. He believed that he was able to achieve the impossible, to succeed where so many others had failed. He was your opposite yet completed you. His fiery temper was cooled by your calming disposition; your soft touch. It wasn't always like that though. Things were bad before they got better.
The months you had spent on that ship started only with fear. A young girl cast into a position with little idea of what she was doing. How does one cook for an entire crew of pirates? How does one appease the ever-changing appetite of a man that was more volatile than the ocean itself? You had hated him. His arrogance got on every single one of your nerves. How could a person like him exist? He was vile; you didn't want to be in the same room as him. But there was something in the way he looked at you. The way he said your name late at night as he cornered you in the kitchen. You can still remember the warmth his body gave off as he pinned you up against the counter. You were terrified but a feeling had built up inside you.
You laughed quietly to yourself. It seems almost silly to you now that you had been so afraid.
It was nights like this.
You remember the fire. The fire that lite up in his eyes as he saw you. The fire you felt irradiating from him as he closed the distance between you and pulled you to his chest. You yearned to feel that burn again. It was intoxicating, even so many years later. The desire as he pushed you down on the mattress, overcome by the need to own you body and soul. His kisses would leave you breathless and begging for more. His hands on your body left you scorched but at the same time breathed life into the flame that grew between you two. No man had ever touched you like that. No man had ever drowned you in ecstasy the way Eustass Kid did.
He was fire and you were his oxygen.
Many nights you would lay there tangled in sheets, drenched with sweat, taking in each other. He dragged his finger up your spine as you rested you head on his chest. Listening to his racing heart return to strong slowed beat. You loved those nights. The smell of gasoline and alcohol on his skin and the way his eyes softened as he looked down at you.
"Tell me you're mine" he whispered against you ear as he nuzzled you close. You giggled as he placed gentle kisses down your neck.
"Of course." You would say, pulling him in for a kiss "I'll always be yours."
Those were the memories that made you smile the most. The closeness you had felt; like you were the only two people in the world. The two of you were made for each other. No one had ever made your soul feel so alive.
The months that followed were the best of your life. The crew soon grew to be your family. You hadn't had much of one growing up; it felt like a blessing to have these men in your life. They were strange, the whole crew felt like puzzle pieces that seemed to be thrown together haphazardly but somehow worked. You smiled remembering the dinners and parties that they would throw. You could almost still smell the alcohol and hear the music as you envisioned the crew laughing and dancing on the deck again. The way Kid would look at you from across the crowd. It meant everything to you. He meant everything to you.
It was nights like this.
As life goes, with the good came the bad. For when you play with fire you're likely to get burned. His jealousy was a poison. A slow acting toxin that invades the bloodstream and kills you from within. You barely notice it until it's too late and your body gives out. Everything seemed to give out that night. The screaming, the accusations, the way he shoved you up against the wall. That was the first time since you arrived on the ship that you had feared for your life. His amber eyes burned into yours as he held you there.
"Tell me you're mine." He had hissed at you as you tried to free yourself from his grasp. "I need to hear you say it."
"I'm yours" You choked out, looking up at him praying for him to release you. He dropped you then and you crumbled to floor. You stayed like that for most of the night.
But for all his violent out bursts his passion would come to lick the wounds that he had left. Your relationship was a constant push and pull. A give and take. His anger would erupt without warning only to have you tame it with a warm embrace. The passion would continue to grow to a point where it threatened to consume the both of you.
But then, the flame died. The pain was what you remember the most clearly. The day he wasn't there. How he just left without warning, without a goodbye. Just gone without a word as though he had never been part of your life to begin with. The pain is what you remember most. It was though you had been torn into a thousand pieces and burned. The flame that had once kept you alive now threatened to end your life. You replayed the night over and over again in your head.
"What could I have done different? What did I do wrong? Was I too weak?" These thoughts tormented you for the months following his disappearance.
You sighed and stared down at your hands.
It was years before you started to feel like yourself again. You slowly picked up the pieces of yourself and stitched them back together until you resembled a previous version of yourself. Meeting your husband had helped. His kind eyes and warm touch helped ease the ache you felt inside you. His touch was warm but wasn't fire. He made you feel loved but could never set your soul on fire the way Kid did. That wasn't his fault though, you couldn't blame him for that. No one would ever be like Kid.
It was nights like this where you asked yourself what would have happened if he would have stayed. Would you have been happy? Could you have lived your life with a man like Eustass Kid?
You stand up and brush off your skirt. The dull ache in your heart answers the question. To lose a soulmate is a terrible thing. They take a part of you with them when they leave; a part you will never truly get back. No matter how you try to fill it or how much time goes by. He will always be a part of you.
As you walk the path back to your house a familiar thought pops into your head.
I wonder if he misses me.
Does he feel the same dull pain that you do? As you think of him does, he think of you? Does he see you in every crowd? Does he remember the kisses the two of you shared on the nights when the moon was high in the sky and the cold of fall nipped at bare arms. How you wished for him to feel the pain that you do. You wanted more than anything to know that he still craved your touch and wished that the woman below him was you once again. For you never wanted him to love again; the very thought broke your heart over again.
When did you finally forget me?
It was nights like this that it hurt the most. You push further up the path wrapping your arms around yourself to help keep the cold at bay. The path wound through the apple trees, shadows dancing in front of you as you tried to push the memories away.
Your heart almost stopped when you rounded the final curve of the path. A figure stood in front of your house. The same towering figure you remember from so many years ago and his hair still aflame. You felt as though you had been punched in the gut.
This wasn't happening
The figure turned when they noticed your presence. The same smirk that you had come to love was plastered on his face, those soft amber eyes that you had longed to see one more time.
"[Y/N]" Kid whispered "I've missed you."
Authors Note
I hope you enjoyed the story :) Just a quick one-shot I came up with, considering writing a story about what happened before the events of this. I would love feedback and constructive criticism so please let me know.