I do not own any of these characters, except Ignacia (Ig-nay-sha) and Alec, the rest belong to Nickelodeon.
I slumped the few bags I had onto Rin's back, tying them on tight with a thick rope. I turned back and leaned against the beast, my mind sending me back in time to remind me why I was leaving.
(Three years previous)
I leaned back against the trunk of the tree with my eyes closed, the sound of turtle ducks just ahead of me. I'm alone for the time being, unlike the others in this palace, I had no business to attend to. Instead, I was waiting for Iroh to return from his meeting, he had promised to talk to me about my future. I took a deep breath and listened, a small breeze swept through the elegant garden, rustling the leaves above my head. Despite the pleasant day I felt like something was off, the world seemed to be holding its breath. Something stirred in me, like a serious case of the butterflies. I opened an eye at the sound of voices. All too high pitch to belong to Iroh. It was Azula and her friends, just what I needed in my time of peace. The voices came to a sudden hush as I heard the group pause a few meters to my left, only a single pair of feet advancing towards me.
"Azula," I muttered.
"Ignacia," she said as if each letter pricked her tongue.
"Can I help you with something?" I said. I knew the fact that I could speak so informally to her, without consequence, irked her. I was no servant, no peasant but I wasn't a noble or a royal. I was in some half way point, a half-breed I had been called on several occasions.
"Care to have some fun with us?" She offered with a sly smile. The way she said 'fun' led me to believe otherwise, this was the daughter who could do no wrong. I wondered what it was like, to get what you wanted just so you would be out of the way, soon learning to control and manipulate. I grunted and considered my options. What harm could she do me that I could not pay back in full?
"Depends. What's your definition of 'fun'?" I questioned. Her smile dropped into an angry glare at my words. She wasn't offering, she was ordering. Who was I to deny her orders?
"I see," I said. I smile played at the corner of my lips, "And if I refuse?"
"Mai," she said as she turned to her friend with long black hair, "Have you seen Alec around lately?"
I gritted my teeth, my smirk replaced with a glare of my own. I knew what she was saying. Either give up my position or my best friend would have some 'fun' with the girls.
"Fine," I spat, "What do you want-"
I was cut off by the sound of my name being called. I smiled ruefully at Azula who gave me a hard look in return and made my way towards Iroh's voice. My smile softened as I approached the man. I climbed the stone steps to where he stood and faltered, his brow was creased and his lips were pressed into a thin line.
"Iroh-"
"Don't forget your titles," he whispered hoarsely.
"Uncle Iroh," I corrected myself, "What happened? What's wrong?"
"Your..." He paused as he remembered I hated being reminded of my relation to the royal family. He took a deep breath before continuing, "Zuko has been challenged to an Agni Kai by one of the generals as he forgot his place and disrespected him. He's challenged not the general though..." He trailed off, the line in his brow deepening.
I understood, he had indirectly challenged his father, the Fire Lord. I knew our conversation would have to wait, right now Zuko needed help, some advice, but I wasn't sure we had time. Agni Kais typically were held at noon, it was late morning now, just a quarter hour or so away from noon. I looked at my uncle with concern, he worried about my half-brother just as much as he worried about me. I did feel some sympathy for Zuko, he was only four months older than me and was in a hurry to grow up and take his, excuse me, our father's place as Fire Lord. I knew Iroh hoped Zuko would see the pointlessness of the war but I knew that was just a hope. Zuko was the type that would do anything to please his family but more specifically, the Fire Lord himself. I shook my head sadly.
"He isn't going to leave unscathed," I observed as we walked to the arena where the duel was going to be held. I didn't have to glance at Iroh to know he shook his head. We entered the arena and walked slowly to a section that was cut off from the rest, the seats here being a little more… well, royal. We took our seats, Azula followed us and sat next to Iroh. Word of the duel must have spread like a wildfire because, as I watched, hundreds of people began to fill up the ring that surrounded the flat platform below. Two perfect squares seemed to be cut out of the arena where the fighters would be risen up from below. I waited anxiously, I knew this wasn't going to end well, yet I stayed, as if glued to my seat.
I wished my thoughts to drift away and take me somewhere far away, but they stayed on the same subject: How bad was this going to be? Why would people come to watch such a cruel game? I had seen several Agni Kais some more brutal than others but nothing would compare to the savagery of a man fighting his own son. I thought this as if the Fire Lord had already won, but that's because he had. Iroh knew it, Azula knew it, and the whole palace knew Zuko would give into his father.
A wave of silence washed over the crowd, gently bringing me out of my thoughts. We watched as the two platforms were raised from the ground, completing the arena like it was some sort of puzzle. The Fire Lord was on one knee, his back to his son. I looked over and saw a frail Zuko on the other side, the Fire Nation insignia draped over him like a cape. There was a sounding of a gong and both father and son stood to face each other. Zuko glared at his opponent for all but a second before his stance relaxed and his arms dropped to his side.
It's already over, I thought to myself.
"Father?" Zuko said in a small voice.
"Get in your stance! Fight me Zuko!" Ozai barked at him.
"No, no! I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I don't want to fight-"
"You will fight me Zuko! Fight for you honor!"
Zuko shook his head. He approached Ozai slowly, kneeling in front of him, still blubbering apologies and asking for forgiveness. Though I could only see the back of Ozai I imagined his jaw clenching and his eyes burn with anger as he brought his hand back, summoning his fire. I watched in slow motion as he brought it forward, willing the flames to shoot from his hand. I looked away. I heard a scream and knew very well who it belonged to, and then I heard a laugh. I knew who this belonged to as well. With my head turned I saw Azula sitting at the edge of her seat, a wide smile plastered on her face. I gritted my teeth as this memory burned into my mind, a reminder that I would never call this demon my half-sister, Zuko was an exception to this rule but not her. I wondered what kind of sick human being would laugh at their own brother's pain and realized this was not a family, this was something broken and bent. It was like a shattered mirror with its pieces gathered together and dumped into some attic, the gold paint left to peel, the metal meant to rust.
I glanced down at the arena below us and saw Zuko on his knees, his hands overlapping each other as he clutched the left side of his face. I stood from my seat and made my way past the row we were trapped in, Iroh following right behind me. As soon as we made it through we escalated our quick pace into a run, taking a flight of stairs by the entrance to the bottom. As we made our way to the arena we met Ozai who stopped us.
"Iroh," he said.
I rolled my eyes and moved past him, he didn't even so much as glance at me. I ran onto the arena and kneeled down next to Zuko. I put a hand on his shoulder.
"Zuko," I murmured. His good eye blinked through the tears and looked at me. I searched his eyes for anything but all I saw was the hurt and shame in them. I put an arm around him and helped him to his feet.
"Where's Uncle?" He managed through a choked voice.
"Talking but he's probably waiting for us now," I said softly.
He didn't even so much as nod as we made our way to Iroh who had a sad look in his eyes. He opened his arms and I gently guided Zuko into them, following behind them as they walked to the doctor who stood at the top of the stairs waiting for them. I followed them all the way to the infirmary, growing steadily angry that no one came to help him. This was how they treated a boy who was more than just physically injured? They watched him walk with his head down in shame, stumbling from time to time because he had little vision between a damaged eye and the other blurred with tears. Despite his injury he let little show of his agony.
When we finally arrived at the infirmary Iroh pushed Zuko inside but gave me a look, warning me to stay outside before entering himself. I didn't have to be told twice. I wandered back to the garden, choosing a long way that took me through the maze of halls within the palace. They hardly needed security, no one who managed to break into the palace could possibly make their way through the halls, you would eventually go mad if you weren't caught first. I sighed and walked slowly, wondering why I had the life I did, why I was related to such a dysfunctional family. I wondered what life would be like if my mother still lived, if I was still with her. I had her tan skin, her sea green eyes, and, according to Iroh, I had her level head. I wish I had known her but she had died shortly after giving birth. I wondered, if she had such a level head, why she had fallen for my father.
Iroh had told me once that Ozai had met my mother while on a disguised trip into the city to get some fresh air. He had seen my mother at a market and something about her had drawn him towards her and vise versa. My mother had come to the Fire Nation to seek refuge from the violence she had observed so many times in the cities of the Earth Nation which she had left for to get away from the small village of the Southern Water Tribe. My mother sent a letter to Iroh, explaining that she was sick and wouldn't make it after my birth. She wanted Iroh to take me in and raise me. He had taken pity on me and my situation and had taken me in. Now here I was, trapped in this sick family by no fault of my own. I stopped in my tracks and looked at a piece of my black hair, one of two traits I had inherited from Ozai, and sighed.
Ozai, the man who would grimace at me if we ever came to cross each other's paths, like I was a smudge on his mirror that wouldn't come off no matter how hard one the servants tried to erase it. If only he knew what my fate was, then he would be a lot more interested in me. He knew almost nothing about me except my name, he didn't even know of the second trait he had passed on to me: fire bending. As far as I knew, only Iroh knew about it as he was my teacher. Everyone else thought I was a nonbender that worked with swords. It was always good to be underestimated though. I smirked, letting go of my strand of hair, and finally taking a left into the garden again. I leaned against the tree and closed my eyes again, Alec would probably be making his way here now. He knew where to find me when I wasn't training with Iroh or roaming the city with no one's permission.
Just as I predicted, the boy with dark brown hair, gold eyes, and a halfway un-tucked shirt came running my way. He stopped at the tree and leaned against it, our shoulders almost touching. Alec didn't say anything at first, he was probably just as upset as I was about the events of the day. He was one of the closest people Zuko had to call a friend and yet had found himself unable to help as the duel had commenced.
"What happens now?" I asked.
"I don't know. Probably not much, just more drama and division," he said.
"Yeah, hopefully," my voice was hollow.
"I wouldn't worry about it. I would worry about you sixteenth birthday though."
"You think Ozai would give me enough attention to marry me off? You give him too much credit," I joked.
"Ignacia, any chance he has to get rid of you he will. If he could hurt his own son like that then I have no doubt he'll have no problem getting rid of you."
"Why are you so concerned about it anyway?" I snapped. I wanted him to stop. I had two years to think up a plan and escape this prison.
"Because Iroh and I are the only ones you have," he snapped back.
I looked at the ground. He was right, I couldn't deny that.
"I'll figure something out," I half said to myself.
"Like what?"
"Iroh and I were supposed to talk about my future today. He knows I can't stay here forever, I don't belong. I'm like the black koala sheep."
"Yeah you are."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. I meant it in a good way, you're different."
I looked at him curiously, wondering what to say. He looked back at me with a lopsided smile, he tugged on a piece of my hair and rolled away before I could smack him.
"Gotta be faster than that!"
"Oh please, catching you is child's play."
"Oh really? Prove it!"
I smiled and jumped to my feet, my eyes locked on him. He waited, dodging right but I saw his head turn a second before and lunged for him. We fell to the ground laughing, until a shadow fell over us. We stopped and looked up to see Ozai towering above. We scrambled to our feet, bowing respectfully, at least Alec did before getting on one knee with his head down. I gave him a curt bow and took my time getting to one knee, bowing my head but keeping my gaze to the side.
"Stand, boy," he commanded.
"Follow me," he ordered after Alec got to his feet once again.
I washed them go, my eyes following Alec who dared to cast a glance back at me, his lopsided smile substituting for a goodbye. I smiled back and waited till they were out of sight. I considered following but thought better of it, ease dropping on Ozai would be a death wish. I looked at the sun in the sky, it still burned enough for me to squeeze in some sword practice. I headed towards my room to change out of my formal clothes and into something more practical for sword practice.
(Later)
I stood on my balcony overlooking the city, the crescent moon high above me. I hadn't seen Zuko or Iroh since the afternoon, even Alec was missing. I breeze swept past me, sending a shiver through me and chilling my wet hair. I folded my arms across my chest and continued to stare out. I thought about what today was supposed to be about, then I thought about what had actually happened. Could Zuko's outburst in the meeting mess with my future? My fate? I knew it affected his more than mine though, he would be permanently marked for his foolish mistake, one that could have been easily let go with a warning. Another thing about this society was their rash nature, their pride never allowing them to be wrong. I shivered again, as the last breeze finally sent me inside to wrap myself up in the silk sheets. I hoped the coming days would be more productive, for everyone's sake.
I couldn't have been more wrong. I was given a wakeup call by some of the servants and served an early breakfast.
"What's this all about?" I asked one of them.
"We were told to wake you up, you have a busy day today."
"Who told you to get me up?"
"The Fire Lord."
Of course. I sighed and ate my food slowly, wasting as much time as I could. I pushed the red sheets off of me and stood, sinking my feet into the plush red carpet. I stretched and walked towards my closet. I took my time picking out another formal outfit that was almost similar to the servants except it was better quality. I hated it, I hated dresses more specifically but what else could I wear that wouldn't get me sent back to my room to change? Nothing. Stretching one more time, I finally opened my door and headed for the Fire Lord's throne room. The rest of the day I spent delivering message after message between generals. The next day went the same way, as did the next and the following day. I would have asked at least one of the generals what was going on if the image of Zuko on his knees clutching his face hadn't been a reoccurring thought. By the end of the fourth day I just collapsed into my bed. I wasn't exhausted, I was bored. I wanted to know where Iroh was, where Alec was, and even where Zuko was.
I let out a deep breath and crawled under the silk sheets again, my mind fading into a dream.
Water. Freezing water. I was completely submerged in it, my body freezing from the shock of it. I tried to keep clawing my way to the surface but my arms slowed with each passing second until they didn't move anymore. I held my breath, not knowing why exactly, I was just prolonging my death. My lungs began to burn, they cramped, until finally I gave in and gasped. Water filled my mouth and froze my lunges. I tried to tell my arms to swim again but they refused to budge. I took one last gulp of icy water-
WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP!
I sat straight up in my bed, I gasped for air and half expected it to taste like salt water. I was breathing heavy, the sound of each mouthful of air breaking the silence. Well, for now it was. Something had ripped me from my dream, the sound of a ship's horn. I ripped the sheets off my body and walked out to the balcony. I looked out and saw a war ship that hadn't been there earlier. I eyed it for a few minutes, confused. War ships never came to port unless they were delivering a navel general to an important and unexpected meeting that absolutely required their presence. Yeah, that had only happened once.
"You're still up," Iroh's voice said behind me.
I turned around and hugged him, hearing him chuckle and return the hug.
"I need to talk to you but I don't have much time. Come inside," he said softly.
I followed him and sat cross legged on the bed while he took a seat across from me. There was a thousand things I wanted to ask him but I knew better than to waste the few precious minutes that I had with him. I hadn't noticed at first but he held a bundle wrapped tightly in his arms. He sighed.
"Ignacia, this may be the last time I see you for some time. I'm leaving with Zuko. He's been banished and the only way to return is with the Avatar. I must go with him, to guide and teach him while he's gone. Your friend, Alec, he is going as well, to keep Zuko company. These are not my orders, believe me, I would have done things completely different but I am not the Fire Lord. Listen, I have arranged for you teachers to teach you what I have taught you over the years. I made a promise to your mother and I intend to keep it. I also have a gift," he said.
He stood and handed me the bundle, it was some oval shaped object wrapped in a thick cloth. It was surprisingly warm, I wanted to unwrap it now but there was something else I needed to do first.
"Thank you, Uncle, for everything," I said before hugging him again. I felt my cheeks get hot and my eyes beginning to water. He hugged me back.
"You're welcome, and thank you for taking the time to listen to an old badger mole like myself," he said in a sad voice.
"One more thing. Can you tell Alec I said I'd miss him? And Zuko I said good luck?"
"Yes, of course," he said, "just remember to visit us when you can."
Though unwilling, I unhooked my arms from around the man who raised me and looked at him curiously.
"Patience, my child, patience," he said.
With one last goodbye, he was gone. I looked back at the bundle on the bed. I summoned a white flame to my hand and used my free one to remove the cloth. I looked down at was unveiled. It looked like a piece of obsidian carved into a smooth egg shape and then had tribal swirls and points carved into it. I put my hand on it, feeling the warmth emanate from it. I knew what it was, or what I supposed it was with my vast imagination as a thirteen year old. It was a dragon egg.
(End of flashback)
I remembered the hatching of the egg and the teachers who had guided me and protected me. They had known who I was and had ushered me on to find the Avatar, to protect the Avatar. The Due Dao swords I had forged and worked with rested heavy on my back, like the pressure of finding the Avatar had embodied itself into them. I looked one last time around the garden I had grown so found of before I turned my back to it and mounted my dragon. Rin's black scales glistened in the moonlight, making it feel as if I myself where flying as we took off. I tightly wrapped my black cloak around me and leaned back. I watched the stars fly by slowly and the land below whisk past us in random streams of light. There wasn't much steering to the area we were going, it was just down, all the way to the South Pole. I knew Zuko must be heading back from the Western Air Temple after finding nothing there or in the Earth Nation villages he had visited. Of course I was just assuming this would be anybodies first places to check, I just hoped it was Zuko's too.
Well? What do you think so far? Let me know! For now, here's some lyrics I feel represent the flashback. Oh, and a special thank you to LunaAzul829 for helping me edit this story! Go check oout her awesome Disney Fan Fic!
I'm so fed up with everyone around me
No one seems to care
I'm just so far gone and nothing's gonna change
I'll never be the same
It's always do this, do that, everything they want to
I don't wanna live that way (No!)
Every chance they get they're always pushing me away
It's never enough, no it's never enough
No matter what I say
It's never enough, no it's never enough
I'll never be what you want me to be
It's all so messed up and no one ever listens
Everyone's deranged
I'm just so messed up and I'm never gonna change
I wanna lay it all to waste
They're always say this, say that, nothing that you want to
I don't wanna live that way (No!)
Every chance they get they're always shoving me aside
It's never enough, no it's never enough
No matter what I say
It's never enough, no it's never enough
I'll never be what you want me to be
I'M DONE!
In the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete
Drawn only to be washed away
For the time that I've been given
I am what I am
I'd rather hate you for everything you are
Than ever love you for something you are not
I'd rather you hate me for everything I am
Than have you love me for something that I can't
It's never enough, it's never enough
No matter what I say
It's never enough, no it's never enough
No matter who I try to be
It's never enough, no it's never enough
No matter how I try to change
It's never enough, never never enough
I'll never be what you want me to be