Summary: On the Normandy, breakfast can be serious business. Unless the commander's in a playful mood.
Thief
"Don't be ridiculous— Hey!" His entire argument about why James' approach to taking down one of those hulking brutes was cut short when Shepard snatched the piece of bacon he'd been gesturing with right out of his hand. He turned, a look of pained shock on his face as his gaze followed her progress across the mess. "I was eating that."
"No, you were pointing at James with it. I saved it from your neglect," she countered, taking a bite.
"That's just cruel and unusual."
"Shepard!"
He could hear that perfect hint of crunch over the din of conversation, and the gruff cough Vega used to try to cover and combat his laughter. Alenko wasn't about to take this lying down. Today his bacon, tomorrow his coffee. Nope, this needed to be nipped in the bud. Even after the base of his chair sang against the deck she still didn't turn back toward him, but just as he reached her, she tried to spin out of his approach.
One hand clamped down on her wrist, which she tried to keep moving to thwart his retrieval. But that wasn't quite Kaidan's aim. She managed to thwart his attempts to wrestle her arm into submission for a moment, but eventually his hand on her wrist gave him just enough control of the appendage to steer his bacon back toward his mouth. His bite just barely missed her fingertips.
Nyx looked at him with an expression of wide-eyed shock that almost matched his and gasped with dramatic flair. "I can't believe you stole my pilfered bacon."
"Never mess with a man's breakfast meat." Kaidan grinned at her, chewing triumphantly.
Nyx bit her lip and looked up at him. He could see the dirty comeback slipping toward the tip of her tongue, and almost hear the … that's not what you said two hours ago. But that's not what came out of her mouth. "Me? What about him?" she pointed past him.
When he turned back to the table, he caught sight of James, his friend, pinching another piece of bacon from the plate he'd abandoned to rescue his kidnapped piece. "Oh, my God!" He looked between the two of them. "What is wrong with you people?"
"I was just giving you another piece, since the commander went on the assault."
He glared at James as he walked back to the table. "Mmhmm." He pushed the chair back to the table and sat down. "Mr. Vega."
"Dude, she had you eating out of her hand literally. And what can I say … It called my name."
Shepard choked on her laughter as she set her plate on the edge of the table between theirs. "Can I use that excuse too?" she teased. "It really was. I mean when you were waving it around it seemed to just sing … Nyx," she crooned, sounding more like she was imitating a ghost than anything else. "Nyx. Save me before I get all cold and soggy."
James' snickering burst into full blown laughter while Kaidan tried to remain stoic on his position. But her grin, that little upward flick of her eyebrows, and the way she pressed her knee against his inspired the corners of the Major's mouth to rise.
"Not sure I buy that one," Alenko told her, leaning toward her and pressing a quick kiss to her temple. She leaned into it, then gave him a quick wink. "And I think in recompense you should owe me a slice," Kaidan told Vega.
The lieutenant looked scandalized. "I don't see how that's fair."
Nyx shrugged. "Technically, since we're a couple and he had his hands all over your meat, shouldn't I get the bacon?"
Half the room choked, the other half seemed to double over in laughter. Even Joker felt the need to chime in and his voice rang around them. "Commander, I'm fairly certain that I'm too young to be subjected to conversations like this."
"Says the man with the largest collection of extranet porn in the Alliance Fleet," Shepard replied calmly. She continued to construct her sandwich of buttered toast, strips of bacon, topped with scrambled eggs, and just enough salsa to give it a little kick.
"Hey, now! I'm doing my part to help save valuable data that could be lost in the offensive."
"Offensive is right." Nyx took a bite and leaned on one elbow as James and Kaidan seemed to finally recover. She chuckled softly when James laid a slice of bacon on her plate without a word before taking his plate and leaving the table.
Kaidan smiled at her, laying a hand on her thigh and giving it a squeeze. Her hand found his under the table and she scooted her chair to lean her shoulder against his. "Want a bite?" she offered.
His grin went crooked for a moment, then he bent his mouth toward her ear and nibbled at her earlobe.
Her shoulder shrugged up as she curved away a little. But not too far, he noted. "Not what I meant, Major."
"Then next time you should be more specific," he countered, pressing a kiss to the corner of her jaw. When he straightened, she waved the extra piece of bacon at him.
a/n: Ladyamesindy sent this prompt ("Hey! I was gonna eat that!") for Nyx and Kaidan way back in May of 2015. It came to me last night in a dream … well, just as I was falling to sleep, but close enough.