(J and RMK walk in and see S doing her homework.)
J: Your doing school work Sterling?
S:Yeah, so?
J: It's just a surprise to see you doing your homework. So baby, what is your homework?
S: A 10 page essay play right. Got any ideas Rose.
RMK: I have dozens of ideas. So when's it due? 10, 30 days max?
S:Tomorrow.
J: Tomorrow? What do you mean tomorrow?
S: Oh, this project was given a month ago.
J: A month ago?
RMK: Calm down John honey. There's no need to yell at your daughter. No need at all.
J: Rose, my little girl procrastinated through her work, and plus she lied! RMK: Still, so what she lied? It still doesn't do you justice if you yell at her.
( C sees JMN studying )
C: (thinking) Jackson, doing homework? This has some explaining to do. ( un thinking) Studying Jack?
JMN: Well you said if I didn't study, I can't go out on a date.
C: If you didn't pay rent, you can't leave.
JMN: Oh. So how much do I owe?
C: $5,000 max.
JMN: How much?
C: That's how much ya owe me. Five freaken years you haven't payed me Jackson.
JMN: Come on.
C: Well, it's you're choice. You didn't pay rent.
JMN: That's not fair.
C: To bad.
(CJ is napping when the doorbell rings.)
CJ: Oh what now?
LKM: Well that's a nice way to greet your old mother.
CJ: If this is a joke Carl-
LKM: If this were one of mister Carson's jokes, you see balloons.
CJ: Seriously Carl I'm not joking.
LKM: Christopher Jordan, you open this door, right this minute!
CJ: Come on in Ma.
LKM: Of course it's me baby, why wouldn't it be me? Are you mad at me?
CJ: (lying) No, of course not.
LKM: That's a lie!
(J is washing tables when CJ walks in)
J: Hey man.
CJ: (Confused) Yeah hi.
J: Oh no, Cesar hide the coffee! What did you do?
Cesar: Why do I have to hide the–? Oh I'm on it.
CJ: A... nothing. Nothing at all.
J: Spill it
CJ: Ma's in town
J: No, no, no, no. Remember when she was here last time. We through a huge party for Christmas.
CJ: Oh yeah. And Ma called the police because she thought there were strange people in the house on Christmas.
J: That's right.
CJ: I had fun that year.
J: Though you did spike the punch bowl. It was funny when you sang the Star Spangled Banner. (slurred) "O say does that star spangled banner yet wave. O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave."
CJ: No fair, I was drunk.
J: Drunk enough to slur your speech.
RMK: (walks in and sees CJ) Hey Chris.
CJ: Hi Rose.
RMK: What's wrong with him?
J:LKM's in town.
RMK: Crap, crap, crap, crap, double crap. This is bad, did I mention crap?
CJ: Yes and we know. It's not every day she appears on her magic broom. RMK: You could be wrong. Not every one can-. Oh.
J: Cesar bring out the bourbon. Hey so remember Christmas.
Cesar: We don't have any bourbon. We still have Johnny Walker though.
J: That's not funny.
(The next morning CJ walks into the loft and LKM is cooking + singing.)
LKM: (Off key) And I, will always love, you-. (stops to see CJ staring at her) Oh hi.
CJ: Morning?
LKM: What are you doing up?
CJ: (sarcastically) What will stop me from getting breakfast?
LKM: Don't you dare use that tone with me!
CJ: But Ma-
LKM: Don't but Ma me.
(Buzz)
LKM: Oh, it's done.
CJ: What's done?
LKM: Pancakes.
CJ: Mm...I'm starving.
LKM: No, You're hungry.
CJ: What difference does it make?
LKM: A total difference.
CJ: But still.
(J is closing the diner when L walks up.)
J: Hey Luke.
L:What ya doing?
J: Closing. What ya doing here?
L:Visiting.
J: How is Stars Hollow though?
L:It's good. I left Lorelei to watch the diner.
J: Oh no.
(LG is taking an order from Kirk)
LG: Ok Kirk, what do you want?
Kirk: A ham sandwich.
LG: We're out of ham.
Kirk: Nooooo. You can't be out of ham. Ham's my life, my soul, my-.
LG: Ok. Stop Kirk, you're disrupting costumers.
Kirk: Sorry.
LG: I will tell Lane to go to Westons tomorrow to get ham.
Kirk: Hey, do you know when Rory gets back?
LG: Not at the moment.
(ZK is pushing a stroller when Rory's car pulls up)
ZK: (confused)
RG: Hi Zack.
ZK: Rory, hi. I thought you weren't coming in till next week.
RG: That's what I thought too.
ZK: So Obama let off.
RG: Yeah, yeah so where's mom.
ZK: Luke's, she's filling in.
RG: Why? Where is he?
ZK: New York. He visiting old friends.
RG: Well that's good. Hey where's Lane.
ZK: Shopping with Brian.
(A twin starts to cry)
ZK: Got to go. Kwon's irritated
RG: See ya.
(LKM is in Wakeen's room)
LKM: Christopher who's Wakeen?
CJ: My roommate. He's out of town at the moment.
LKM: Oh, I just thought you lived alone.
(Ring)
CJ: (Answers the phone) Hello?
RMK: Yeah hi, Luke's back. Wait where's Wakeen?
CJ: Hawaii.
RMK: Hawaii? No, he can't be in Hawaii.
CJ: Oh, he is.
RMK: Why, when I need him now?
CJ: What do you need him for? He's not from a distant planet.
RMK: I broke something.
CJ: What would that something be?
RMK: The diner window.
CJ: The window? Rose, how did you break the window, and hold the phone, Luke's back?
RMK: Oh, you see I was washing the window, when it fell.
CJ: So when did Luke fly in?
RMK: 5:00.
CJ: And no one told me?
RMK: Yeah, (giggles) sorry.
(Knock)
WK: Yo, mon. Open up.
LKM: Hello. Who are you?
WK: I'm Wakeen.
LKM: Oh, you're Christopher's roommate.
WK: Yo mon, I'm home.
CJ: Wakeen, phone.
WK: Who is it
CJ: Rose. She needs a favor of you.
WK: What has she ever done for me?
RMK: Nice Wakeen.
WK: I didn't say I was goin' to be nice.
S: Sa` Domage La` fromage.
RMK: Good job Sterling.
S: Thanks Rose. What did you do?
RMK: Nothing.
S: Oh nothing really.
RMK: Yeah.
S: No.
RMK: Shut up.
J: (Walks in) Don't you dare talk to my daughter that way.
RMK: John I've got something to tell you.
J: You're not-?
RMK: Ah, no.
J: Then what?
RMK: (Talks fast in panic) I broke the diner window. It was a total accident.
J: You broke the window?
S: Oooooo, soooooo busted.
J: You're grounded.(passes out)
S: Daddy. Your fault.
RMK: I'm not the one who said, "Oooooo, soooooo busted."
S: I'm not the one who broke the window.
RMK: Oooo, good come back. Crap.
S: What?
RMK: He's going to have a head lack.
(L is at the airport going to say goodbye)
J: (groans)
L: I told you to stay home.
J: Relax. It's a HL.
L: Huh?
J:Head Lack.
L: Ah. Sorry I couldn't stay longer. We ran out of ham, so Kirk's mad.
J: He'll do any thing for ham.
L: Yep. But that's not why I'm leaving.
J: Why?
L: I can't trust Lorelei.
J: I believe that.
PA: Flight 4B will now aboard.
L: Gotta go.
J: I guess I'll be seeing you.
(J, CJ, WK, are sitting down to play poker)
WK: I still think we should call Luke.
J: Why should we call Luke?
WK: 'Cause Lorelei's preagnet.
J: What?
CJ: Wakeen, are you kidding?
WK: No, she called me an hour ago.
J: Not it.
CJ: Not it.
WK: Man. D#* it.
J: Hey stupid, my daughter's next door. If she heard that, Rose will beat my ass.
CJ: Strait.
J: Flush.
CJ: Man, how do you win.
S: Daddy, what's this card on the floor?
WK: What is wrong with you?
CJ: Sterling, come here for a sec. (Motions S to come over and whispers something in her ear). Thanks sweetheart. Tell that to your dad.
S: Ok, Dad Uncle CJ says "Screw You"
J: What are you tellin' my daughter?
CJ: Good things. I'm not playing poker with you anymore.
J: Texas-Hold'em?
CJ: No!
J: (Black Berry rings) Yeah?
L: John, I'm gonna be a dad.
J: Luke I know about it already. Are you mad?
L: No, why would I?
J: 'Cause, we already knew before you.
L: Who cares?
J: Luke, you should be mad at me.
L: Why, I don't care?
J: Ok, if you insist, I'll talk to later.
CJ: How it go?
J: Luke acted liked a stone-cold fool.
WK: (Laughs)
J: IT'S NOT FUNNY.
WK: It is to me.
J: Why?
CJ: ( laughs so hard he calapses onto the floor).
J: Fine. Laugh all you want.
(S is listing to M1A1 by the Gorillaz.)
S: M1A1, there's a pile of metal. Gorillaz have the bass-drum...
D: (walks in and sees S making a fool out of herself). Take it off. Take it off.
S: Ha ha Dani.
D: What are you bumed about?
S: That I have no friends.
D: Not true, you have me. I mean what's the matter with me. Where's your dad. My Mom told me to tell you to tell your dad he's suppose to drive me home.
S: Poker.
iPod: Playing Poker Face; Lady GaGa.
D: Your Dad told you that you can't have Lady GaGa on your iPod.
S: Oh yeah well...well...well...um...
D: Yeah, uh huh dude you have a bad, bad, bad dad.
S: I know. He's such a ass.
J: Language.
S: Is he home.
D: No, but you did pocket dialed him.
S: Oh great.
WK: What happen.
J: Sterling pocket dialed me and called me a ass.