House: Fifteen on all.

House's perspective on the people he's met. Fifteen attributions, that is. R&R? =)

Wilson.

1. Wilson is his best friend.
And everyone knew it. He valued his friendship with him, he really did. When House met Wilson? A conference in Louisiana. House was annoyed at Wilson, Wilson found him funny, they shared the same table during lunch after the useless boring conference, and there's the story. Oh, and speaking of, it's going to be their 20th friendship anniversary in a few months, weee. Whatever would Wilson want? A new girl? Subway?

2. Wilson divorces a lot of women.
And, everyone knew that as well. His favorite had to be wife #2, the freaky real estate agent one. Oh, good times.. the only similarities that he found between Wilson and Bonnie was that they both liked sandwiches. His first wife Renee was a ridiculous neat freak. Julie cheated on him because she thought her titties were too deserving for just one hot man, apparently.

3. Wilson likes sandwiches.
Enough said. He couldn't comment on that. He insisted Subway all the time. Sandwich during lunch, during break, during conversations.. House wouldn't be surprised if he ate a sandwich during sex.

4. Wilson's first name is James.
His second was Joseph. James Joseph Wilson… sounds so Jewish, no? He had to admit. The name was sexy, no matter if he was Muslim or Jewish or whatnot. And having a homeless brother that probably lives nearby the Brooklyn Bridge makes him seem less Jewish. Unless that certain brother picks up coins on the street..

5. Wilson heads the Oncology Department.
Isn't it nice to know a fellow who heads their own department, too? They feel like such bosses. Like they owned some sort of Mafia, bossing people around. Difference is, Wilson mostly tells people that they're going to die in a few months or years. House has more fun, having a team at least to talk to and solving interesting cases. And it didn't hurt that he always hired at least one hot female. Maybe he could share Thirteen with Wilson a few times, poor guy is lonely.

6. Wilson's too nice, damn it.
Wilson was too nice. Wilson lied to him, Wilson did this, and that, but it was to protect House or to protect who House was hurting. That annoyed House. He's a big boy. If he gets sick he can just take Motrin or Acetaminophen. When Wilson moved in with House he brought all the groceries… and aw, even buying House Animal Crackers for snacks when they watched Gossip Girl!

7. Wilson did love Amber.
And it was more of a theory to him than a fact. People blame House for 'killing' Amber; he did not feel guilty. Even if he actually did kill Amber, he still wouldn't feel guilty. Why did people blame him? Why did he almost cry, watching Amber die next to Wilson's side? Why did no one see House when he was for once sympathetic?

8. Wilson watches Gossip Girl with House.
Wilson didn't like The OC, Wilson didn't like The L Word. So he figured that with these hot New York City chicks, he'd like to watch. So he invited Wilson over one night to watch a TiVoed Gossip Girl pilot and guess who was hooked? Yup, Wilson. No, apparently, he didn't like the hot chicks. He liked that the show was about rich kids stuck in their own stupid drama. His favorite character was Dan. Whatthehell is wrong with Wilson? Surely he was lying and meant Nate, of course. Nate's hot.

9. Wilson likes talking to girls.
And talking about what they like to do. Meaning nails, shoes, and bags. He even knows Prada, God bless the man. Maybe he wasn't flirting all the time, but hell it attracted girls. One example is with Cuddy, for example; she stains her skirt during lunch, and he offers to go get Tide-on-the-go for her. The nurses, talking about what happened to Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and why Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch. Jeez, Wilson can be such a girl. Maybe that's why he married so much. Maybe that was why he gets divorced often, too. Maybe he got it on every night with a dying cancer patient for sympathy.

10. Wilson likes Teletubbies.
He and House were fighting for a week because House couldn't accept that. House wanted Wilson to like Spongebob; Wilson says that the patients that he gets attached to are kids, and they like Teletubbies, therefore he likes Teletubbies more. House threw his sandwich at him and refused to talk to him for a week. The day they started talking again was until Cameron was flipping through the channels in the Doctor's lounge and left the channel on Nickelodeon, showing Spongebob; not caring as she was talking to her nurse friend Louisa. House and Wilson, who were across the room from each other, looked at each other. It was the episode when Sandy left Spongebob and Patrick in charge of Sandy's soon-to-be butterfly, one of House's favorites. When it ended, Wilson said 'That episode was good.' He looked at House, and they both stood up and hugged each other.
They must've looked gay, because Chase, Foreman, and Kutner were looking at them like they were making out.
Or maybe they were annoyed that they couldn't change the channel. But he could've sworn that they were laughing at one point.

11. Wilson hates riding House's motorcycle.
Which puts him in House's retarded list. His motorcycle was cool, okay. Makes him feel younger. He doesn't like putting his arms around House when he rides with him, either. "Come on, Willy, no one would think that we're sleeping together," House would reassure him. Everyone likes his motorcycle. Wilson didn't. Another point on the 'homo' chart.

12. Wilson always wanted to go to Britain.
He says that the british were, quote, "Elegant."
House remembered staring at Wilson in disbelief. "We have hotter girls in this hospital combined to one hot girl in Britain."
" The hospital's staff population is nothing compared to the population of New Jersey alone," said Wilson, taking the matter seriously.
"Have you not seen Cuddy? Or Cameron and Thirteen?"
"Yeah, well, I wasn't talking about girls, House. I was talking about the location itself. Britain has many historical landmarks that go back to.." blah, blah, House remembered thinking to himself. History, how boring.
"What, they have elegant tea cups there? I'll order one from Amazon. Don't leave me, Wilson," House told him seriously.

13. Wilson was cute.
That couldn't be denied. Girls like him because he's hot. House wishes he was as hot as Wilson, and yet, Wilson said that he wanted to be like House sometimes. Only whoever created him understood what that meant. Even Cuddy thinks he's cute.

14. Wilson likes little babies.
Just like Cuddy. Why is he like Cuddy in so many ways yet so different at the same time? And why is he talking about Cuddy a lot? Wilson likes babies. Chase likes babies. Cameron likes babies. He didn't know if Kutner or Thirteen or Foreman liked babies, but Cuddy did. House liked fetuses. What was the deal with babies? They cry and they steal mommy's breasts all the time. Father's say that it annoys them sometimes. Makes them feel like crap.
And yet, he knows that Wilson deserved to be a father. He would be a good one, and hopefully, he would conceive one before Wilson's sperm count decreases.

15. Wilson said that he wished he banged Nurse Brenda.
It's true. Once, when House and the team had nothing to do near midnight they called in Wilson for a few drinks. Once House finished his own beer bottle he put it on the table and spun it, landing on Wilson first. House asked, 'Who in this hospital would you like to have banged so much before they got wrinkly or before they got married?' Wilson was drunk, and everyone else nearly was, and he said,' Nurse Brenda was hot.' House couldn't stop hitting his cane on Chase's lap nor stop his laughter. Oh boy, did Cameron look so out of place that night. Wilson said that he wanted to bang her, too.
'I hate spin the bottle,' Cameron had muttered that night.