Kate Marsh, she was somebody that I cared about greatly. All though sometimes my actions didn't make it clear for her, I still tried my best on that fateful encounter when she took her own life right here, on top of the Academy's school roof where I started to get to know her better.
The mid morning weather nips at my skin through my thin long sleeved shirt as I pace around on top of the roof to the Academy. Little does David know that Chloe stole his keys one day and got reprints made for the two of us just for shits and giggles. Ever since I've gotten mine I've used it to sit up here and relax whenever things get too chaotic throughout the halls or when I just need a quieter place than the dorm rooms considering it's always the same conversation throughout the day. It's always about who did what, and when they did it, and who they did it with, and I'm sick of it. Just plain and simple; I. Am. Sick. Of. It.
A loud sigh escapes my lungs out into the open, fresh air. As far as I know nobody can see me up here from down there which is wonderful; considering I'm skipping my photography class to take a breather. The ocean breeze gently rustles my hair against the wind, while the sound of seagulls chattering among themselves fills the silent morning air. The sun barely looms in the sky, illuminating across the ocean with reflections of different colors while the clouds begin to fade from their vibrant colors into their normal white ones.
I could have done so much for her, you know? I shouldn't have just taken the picture for proof since Mr. Jefferson always said 'take the shot' well I took the damn shot and nearly cost me a friendship; I mean, it did in the end since she's no longer with us, but she was upset with the fact that I'd rather 'scrapbook' the moment rather than jumping in and trying to figure out what the Hell David wanted with her. And the whole suicide, if I had the slightest idea when she would do it; I could have actually used my powers to save her, instead of freezing time completely and causing me to glitch out at the last minute and being rendered to my own stupidity at choosing the right words.
The tears begin to stream down my cheeks now, even just being up here forces me to relive the entire moment over and over again. I can see her standing in front of the ledge, vividly with her arms spread out, her eyes closed with her back facing the crowd of bystanders down below. I knew she would do it, I didn't know when and I didn't know where. The signs were all there; she was always alone, she was always upset, everything was right in front of me this entire time and I couldn't do a damn thing.
The tears turn into full on sobbing by this point. My body heaves a little with the lack of oxygen entering my lungs from crying so much. My legs give out from under my weight, collapsing to the roof's floor in the middle just in case somebody does spot me from down below. My arms wrap around my knees while my head's pressed downwards, trying to muffle the sobbing that eventually ended up into almost screaming in pain and sorrow for a friend who lost her light a long time ago.
Everything hurts, my heart, my head, my muscles are so sore from heaving so much around my stomach, everything just makes me feel so drained and powerless. It was only a couple days ago when she completed a life goal she had for herself, yesterday we were all given a day off to cope with what happened and what people saw, others were given longer due to the trauma involved. I didn't plan on attending classes for a week anyways, nothing against Mr. Jefferson, and everything I can think of against Victoria; but just knowing that she was once in this very class with me completely tears me apart on the inside whenever I walk through those doors.
Several minutes pass by slowly, the sun eventually begins to rise up even more towards the highest peak in the sky; more and more birds begin to chirp as the day goes on, it's amazing how such little time can make a big difference in the environment we live in. Ever since I was gifted this ability to rewind time, I've been trying to use it for good; but lately all it's ever gotten me was more scenes from Final Destination than I had thought. I've saved Chloe a few times from being crushed by a train, and I attempted to save Kate from her own demons she was facing alone too. The one thing I've learned from both events is how tiring I get afterward; and miraculously I've managed to avoid hospital trips from the excessive nosebleeds time travelling causes me to have.
Lately I've been feeling like shit after the events, Kate must be so lonely up there looking down on the impact she left behind on all of us. Even Victoria was upset, Victoria. I haven't spoken to anyone in those couple days either; I've locked myself in my dorm, ignored the numerous calls, texts, and frequent knocks on my door by either drowning them out with music, or I slept through all of it.
The endless tears still flow down from my eyes, eventually I finally managed to muster all of the strength I have left to pull myself up to my feet. The view from up here is amazing, facing the sun we have the ocean, and an overview of the entire small town, and behind me there's a huge mountain covered in trees with twisty roads, and a forest for miles. Everywhere I look is gorgeous and leaves me perfect opportunities for photos; too bad I left my camera in my dorm.
Despite being surrounded by all of these beautiful creations, and wonderful friends; I still feel torn apart without Kate here. I've known her for a long time; longer than people here think I have. Her, Chloe and I used to be really close as kids; I remember when I moved away from here the two of them got into a huge fistfight over who would hug me goodbye the first. I ended up just hugging them both at the same time with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes.
Everything feels different when you lose someone you loved and cared about greatly. You lose interest in the things that once made you smile, simple tasks like attending classes leads you to the point of mental breakdowns and being in fear of breaking down in class, and overall it leaves you feeling useless and wondering what else could have been done to protect the ones you love. I've tried my hardest to make sure I was there for her; I just only wish she could see how hard I tried.
Slowly but surely I make my way towards the ledge of the roof where Kate once stood. Gazing down from the bottom I can still see the small blood stain permanently engraved into the cement below, a reminder that behind this entire fake Academy act, we have a dark secret hiding inside these walls.
Everything in my life basically has fallen apart. My parents are getting into constant fights about my attendance, I've been kicked out a couple times and was living with Chloe for a bit, everything plummeted and it only took a matter of two days just to realize who my real friends were, and who really even cared about Kate Marsh to begin with.
Eventually I find myself teetering over the ledge with my toes slightly hanging off towards the world down below. My mind draws a blank on anything that's now positive in my life and everything just spirals downhill from there. I know how tempting it is to just fall to my death as well, believe me that thought escaped my mind more than once. But would I really have the strength to do something so terrible?
Everything's changed in the school since then, Principle Wells pretends like this event never happened after the day we all discussed it together in his office with one of the police officers, Victoria's actually upset that Kate committed suicide, Nathan; the egoistic asshole pretends like he cares to gain everybody's sympathy even though he's hiding the truth; or at least more than he's been giving out. Not to mention everything just feels off, of course there are flowers by her door, and people leave sticky notes with little messages saying 'I really miss you,' and 'I hope you've found peace.' Nothing negative showed up, and as far as the only good thing about this experience is that the bullying completely stopped as well. But by everything feeling off I mean that this Academy just won't be the same anymore with her gone forever.
Suddenly, the back door that leads up towards the roof begins to jiggle a little, eventually it opens and Mr. Jefferson is standing there with a concerned expression looming over his face. His eyes dig like daggers into the back of my head with worry consuming him whole, and sheer amazement that he found me up here and doesn't seem to be questioning it.
My heart races at the pure thought of being caught up here, as long as it wasn't David who caught me first; god knows what he'd do to Chloe knowing it was her who gave me a reprint. I've never ran into anyone other than Chloe up here for the past few weeks since I've had my key, so I'm just as surprised as he is.
"Max, please step away from the ledge." His voice is beyond shaky, afraid that he'd end up reliving the whole Kate Marsh incident once again. My eyes eventually break away from the ground that's far below me while I slowly take a few steps behind the ledge. Immediately I can feel my heart slowing down to its normal pace and my breathing returns to its regular speed as well.
I can already feel the tears beginning to flow once more, I can tell my face is puffy and red from sobbing so hard earlier, that and the fact that I'm getting really tired and ready to take a nap. Footsteps can be heard behind me, assuming that it's still Mr. Jefferson while his hand reaches out towards my arm, and he yanks me away from the ledge and away from the wandering eyes from down below.
"What are you thinking!? You could have slipped." His eyes pierce mine with severe concern as he releases his grip and stands there with his back against the open door that leads back into the Academy. The breeze picks up once again and swirls around us with a few loose leaves fluttering along behind the trail.
I don't really know what to say to him, considering I don't even know what I was planning on doing in the first place. I wouldn't want to commit suicide, but in the same breath I wouldn't mind being far away from here as well.
"I don't really know to be honest, I usually come up here when I want quiet." My eyes drop down towards my shoes to avoid his gaze, and I guarantee that he's going to ask me how I even managed to get a hold of the key to this roof too. If he doesn't, then I at least hope that he won't mention it to David or Principle Wells.
He lets out a small sigh of relief, knowing that I wasn't planning anything irrational, even though I easily could have and everything would have been solved; for me at least, not everybody else though. He runs his hand though his hair and breathes easily from here on out.
"If that's the case, then you can head back to your dorm and don't worry about showing up for a day or two; I won't tell." His concerned gaze turns into a gentle one as we both make our way towards the door so we can pretend like this encounter has never happened.
It strikes me a little uneasy how one, he has a class right now; and two, how did he even unlock the door if I know he doesn't have a key to up here…? Maybe I'm over thinking it, clearly he must know David really well enough to let him come up here, but why would he need to come up here right now if he has a class to teach at the same time? The possibilities are endless, maybe he can time travel as well, or maybe he just saw me from down below and assumed the worst. Either way, I'll still come up here at least once a day to have some time to myself and to bask in this magnificent view of my childhood town.
"I won't say a word to David if you won't say anything about the spare key I have as well." He softens the experience with a little humor, patting one of the pockets on his pant leg indicating that he as well has a spare key to up here too. That at least answers one of my questions, but I guess the others will remain unsolved for the time being, as he lets me enter the stairwell first before shutting the metal door behind us and locking it with his spare key while we slowly descend down the hidden staircase towards the main doors that lead us back into one of the Academy's hallways.