Author: Raven Shadowrose

Title: Making A Choice

Rating: T

Pairing: ?/?

Summary: Making a choice is sometimes the hardest thing to do.

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, any original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for them to be used elsewhere.

Reviews are welcome :)

Chapter One... Dixie.

'Dixie.' I heard a voice softly calling my name. 'Dixie, wake up, I need to talk to you.' I opened my eyes and my ears slowly registered the sound of waves quietly coming in to rest against the shore. I sat up and I blinked to get used to the light from the sun. I looked at my surroundings, I was on a beach and surrounded by calm water, the sky was blue and the sun felt warm on my skin. 'Where am I? How did I get here?' I looked at the person that had spoken to me; a beautiful woman with piercing blue eyes, long hair and huge white wings. I have heard of angels from other people, but, I wasn't a person for believing in angels. 'Who are you?'

'I'm Lissle, your guardian angel.'

'But, I'm not religious, I didn't think that I had a guardian angel.'

'We exist beyond religion Dixie, everyone has an angel to look after them. When you were born into this world I was tasked with looking after you.'

'You've been around me for my entire life?'

'I have, every minute of your life I have been by your side; through the struggles you've faced and all of the happy times too. I've seen you grow and develop as a person.'

'When the Malones made my life hell and when my dad died, were you there at those times?'

'I was, you might not have felt me or realised that I was there, but I was by your side.'

'Why was I made to suffer? Why didn't you help me?'

'Everyone has certain situations that they have to go through in their lives, it is through these situations that you grow as a person. I did help you, who do you think guided you to Ben for counselling and gave you the courage to talk to him the day that you ran to his house after your first shift back at work after the accident?'

'You?' Lissle nodded and she smiled at me.

'Yes, I also made it so that Jeff was there for you. He wanted to help you, but feared he might say the wrong thing and make it worse. I just gave him a little push in the right direction.'

'You know about Jeff?'

'Of course I do, he is your best friend, he means the world to you.'

'He is. What am I doing here? Am I dreaming?' I wasn't sure how I had got here or even what I was doing here.

I heard Lissle sigh and she looked at me with compassion, I felt a bit scared, what had happened to me? 'Do you remember saying that when you eventually died that you would like to end up on a beach with calm water and blue skies?'

'I do.' I looked at Lissle, what was she trying to tell me? 'Am I dead?'

'Not yet.'

'Then why am I here?'

'I need to talk to you, you have a decision to make.'

'What do you mean?'

'You got hurt and you're in hospital.'

'How badly?'

'The people you work with are trying to save your life as we speak.' I struggled to take in the information that I had just been given, I had got hurt and it sounded as if I was dying down there. 'What happened to me?'

'Do you want to know?'

'Tell me, I want to know.'

'You were shot whilst you were working.' I closed my eyes and tried to remember everything that had happened to bring me here, but, I couldn't. 'You have a choice to make Dixie, you can either go back to your body or you can stay here.'

'If I stay here, what happens to me down there?'

'If you stay then your mortal body will die. If you go back then you will live.'

'I have to choose whether to live or die?'

'Yes, I can't make the choice for you.' I just looked at the angel that was stood in front of me, I thought that it would be easier to make the decision if I wanted to live or die. There were many thoughts running through my head and I was struggling to try and make sense of all of them.

My thoughts turned to my life and the people that I shared it with, I loved Little Abs and Jeff with all my heart, what would happen to them if I decided to stay? I love my job too, what would happen to the people that I help if I'm not there to do so? 'Jeff, he's my best friend, I love him, is he all right? Did he get hurt?'

'No, he didn't, he is all right.' I breathed a sigh of relief, Jeff hadn't been hurt. 'You care for him, I can hear it in your voice, you're worried about what will happen to him.'

'I do, he annoyed me at first but he grew on me over time and I can't imagine my life without him.' Jeff was on my mind, how was he coping? I knew the answer, he would be blaming himself for this happening to me. Jeff is strong, but, there are things that get to him, his friends or his kids getting hurt are the biggest things that get to him. Could I leave him behind? Would he forgive me if I left him? Would he be all right? I shook my head, what am I going to do?

If I stayed then could I see my mum and dad again? I've wanted to see them for so long, dreamed of talking to them time and time again. I miss my mum and dad, I have done for a long time. 'Will I see my mum and dad if I stay?'

'Of course you will, they will be waiting for you.'

'I do want to see them again, but I don't want to leave Jeff behind. I don't know what to do for the best, can you help me?'

'I cannot help you Dixie, this decision must be yours and yours alone.'

'I don't know what to do. Will my mum and dad forgive me if I go back?'

'They won't blame you for going back, your decision is the one that matters.' I sighed, what am I going to do? Do I want to stay and see my mum and dad again? Do I want to go back and see my Jeffrey again?

Jeff pops into my mind again, I feel guilty, he's my best friend and if I die then I know that he will feel guilty. If I die then he will blame himself for my death. We've always been partners and looked out for each other on shouts. I feel sorry for him, I know that he will be by my side and waiting with me, he will be supporting me and holding my hand whenever he can. I hope that someone is looking after him and he isn't alone through all of this. I know that he won't leave me to face this by myself. Jeff loves me, I know that he does, I love him too. He's always there and ready with a hug when I need one. I wish that I could see him and comfort him, I want him to know that I don't blame him for what happened. I turned to Lissle, I needed to know where Jeff was. 'Is Jeff with me?'

'Yes, he is, he hasn't left your side.'

'I thought so. I knew that he wouldn't leave me.'

'The bond that you share with Jeff is a strong one, your friendship is one that is hard to break.'

'I know.' I smile, Jeff has always been my rock and I can't imagine my life without him.

I sigh again and look out to the sea, it is peaceful and lovely here. I remember saying that I wanted to come somewhere like this when it was my time to die. I didn't think that I would have ended up here so soon. I've got dreams, there are things that I still want to do with my life, why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? 'Was it my fault, is this my punishment for something that I've done?'

'No Dixie, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

'Oh,' I whispered.

'Dixie, you need to make a decision. You must decide if you wish to stay here or if you want to return to your body.'

'How am I here and in the hospital at the same time?'

'Only your soul is here, it is your physical body that remains behind in the hospital. Your physical body cannot live without your soul.'

'Okay, I understand, I think.'

'You must make a decision, what is it going to be?' I took a deep breath and I looked at Lissle.

'I've made my decision.'

'What are you going to do, will you stay here or will you return to your body?' I took another deep breath and told Lissle what I had decided to do. I close my eyes as Lissle folds her wings around me and she kisses me on the head. I just hope that I have made the right decision, that I am doing the right thing.