Dean was lying in his bed in the bunker, Shinedown coming out of the speakers he had installed and broken pictures laying on the ground. At this point he was empty. He hadn't reacted right apparently and Cas was gone and he was left trying to figure out how to move on.
First he had gotten angry, he had thrown the only two pictures he had with Cas in them as hard as he could at the wall. The sound of the glass shattering had been a catalyst for all the emotion he had buried over the years of knowing Cas and it had hit him all at once. For a man that didn't let himself feel emotion he could have very strong ones when he got pushed too far or held it in too long. He had ended up on the floor with tears streaming down his face and sobs wracking his body. He had never loved someone before, he didn't know it could be this painful.
Shaking himself out of his stupor he slipped from his room and down the hall to the one they had given Cas. There were little touches of the man he had come to love scattered all around the room. Books on various topics were scattered about, some left open to pages relevant to whatever case they were working on and others pushed to the edges of the bed and table until they were needed again. There was a spare trench coat and shirt hanging in the open armoire, his tie was on the table being used as a bookmark. This was obviously someones home.
Shuddering he sank on the bed and started to pray. He prayed for Cas to forgive him. He prayed for Cas to come home. Finally, after what felt like a century of unheard prayers, he prayed for Cas to kill him instead of making him suffer like this. At some point he drifted off to sleep, tears still fresh on his face.
This was how Cas found him hours later. Curled up on his bed, his trench-coat held close to his chest, dried tears on his face. The sight made something deep inside Cas ache, something in the place where his humanity was stored. He needed to remember that Dean didn't know how to be in a real relationship, that this was as new for the hunter as it was for the angel; and unlike the angel he didn't have an overly romanticized ideal in his head how it should go. Shrugging out of his coat he laid it over the chair behind him then sat on the edge of the bed and reached a hand out to wipe the remains of tears from Deans cheek.
At the feel of someone touching his face Dean was instantly awake and on the defensive. Within seconds he realized who was touching him though and his guard dropped. He breathed the angels name then threw himself around the angel, kissing him with every bit of apology he couldn't find the words to say.
Cas whimpered slightly as he leaned into the kiss. "I know Dean. I heard earlier. And I realized that I was expecting you to act like a character in one of the movies I've been watching and not the hunter I've fallen in love with."
"That still doesn't excuse me freaking out because I realized I had just told someone who isn't Sam I loved them." Dean said, his voice still raw.
"Yes it does. In all fairness if you hadn't had at least a marginal freakout then I probably would have second guessed things." Cas said bluntly.
"You are far too understanding." Dean said softly, leaning his head on the other mans shoulder.
"Only of the man I've spent the better part of the last half of a century watching over." Cas said tangling his hand in Dean's hair and holding him close.