Narcissists In Love
"So why is a pretty lady like you sitting alone on a Saturday?" The man asked women sitting next to him at the bar.
"My two usual boy toys ditched me." She moaned.
"What? Why would they do something stupid like that?" He asked in a surprised tone.
"Well…they swore me to secrecy, but hell I don't care. Mercury and Nitro are as queer as a three dollar bill." Melina admitted as she sipped on her drink.
The man paused for a moment, his eyes widened slightly.
"Come on, you can't be that surprised." Melina giggled a little. The man thought about it for a moment.
"Well, I guess you have to know something is strange when they refused to try my patent Simon System." Simon Dean said and took a sip from his cocktail.
"So Simon, how go you're infomercials?" Melina asked.
Simon sighed. "Not so good Melina, you'd think with all the total oinkers out there I'd be rolling in cash. But people think I'm vain, I can't help it if I'm so damn sexy."
"I know what you mean, all those fans booing me. They're so jealous of my looks that it's sickening." Melina pouted.
Simon patted her back. "Come on Melina, it's a just something we beautiful people have to bear."
"I know but Sniff total ug-o's are so cruel." She cried lightly on Simon's shoulder.
"Hey, hey, buck up pretty lady. We can go back to my place. I have plenty of mirrors, cause hey, I'm good looking. Looking at yourself in the mirror, that always cheers you up right?" Simon said comfortingly while rubbing Melina's hair. She nodded and sniffed.
"Then lets go, I've got plenty of my patented Simon System Protein bars and Milkshakes. They'll make you feel one hundred percent better, I guarantee! Plus I'll let you ride the Dean Machine…" He paused for a moment. "And then maybe I'll let you ride my scooter."
"Simon…that's probably the best pick up line I've ever heard. Let's go!" Melina grabbed her purse and got up. Simon got up to and picked Melina up.
With her in his arms, he stepped on his 'Dean Machine' Scooter and the two rode out of the bar.
Both were happy they found someone that could love them as much as they loved there selves.
At the other end of the bar, Funaki sat watching the two leave. "Funaki, Smackdown Number one announcer, is either very drunk or he just saw something very, very strange. Smackdown's new weird couple, Simon and Melina." He commented.
Jillian Hall, who was sitting next to Funaki, kissed his neck. "Whatever you say honey, now lets take you home."
The End