Racist Parasprite Ponies
Well I was indirectly requested to write this in a review. This is a more family friendly version of M-rated Racist Parasprite Cupcakes. But it is not a clone with an alternate ending. The story will retain racists Buck and Thoronhope, but the argument will not even be described in great detail (partly to avoid making it a clone of the other one), and the ending will be different. It is more based on the almost hypnotic power of the show.
Contains mild language, like "hell" and "queer"
Buck and Thoronhope were two racists. They hated anyone not of the same race as themselves. They often bullied, intimidated, and mugged them.
They also hated My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. They perceived it as a young girls' show, and had recently been made aware of the fanbase. According to recent polls, 84% of the audience were male, 17 and up.
Buck and Thoronhope were often inclined to search through restaurants, like McDonalds, Dairy Queen, and food courts in the mall, for Brony meetings so they could insult them and make the rudest, often vulgar comments toward them for liking My Little Pony. And of course, they never missed an opportunity to make racist remarks toward anyone black, Jewish, etc.
One day, when Buck and Thoronhope were in the middle of bashing seven Bronies in McDonalds, one of which was Muslim, a portal opened up and sucked both of them inside.
They appeared before a white pony with wings, a horn, and a rainbow pastel mane and tail. An alicorn. Her cutie mark was a sun.
"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" said Buck and Thoronhope.
"How do you know my name when you hate our show so much?" said Celestia.
"Because," said Thoronhope, "those retards were watching an episode on laptop. I tried to avert my eyes from this crap."
"Yeah," said Buck. "This stupid show sucks!"
"Don't say that!" said Celestia. "This show teaches the value of friendship. It also shows that even a title with a horrible reputation, can be made into a great show."
"There's nothing great about My Little Pony," said Buck.
"All four generations of My Little Pony are the same," said Thoronhope. "Anyone who watches them is queer."
"You insult them out of spite," said Celestia, "and your comments are quite racist. However, maybe the two of you just need to experience some of it yourself."
"What do you mean?" said Thoronhope, trembling with fear.
"Most people, when they watch this show, realize just what's so good about it, even if they don't believe it at first," said Celestia. "I'll just let you two live in Ponyville for a while."
"Wait," said Buck. "We're actually INSIDE the My Little Pony universe?"
"I'll throw up," said Thoronhope, gagging.
"If you do not come around by next Friday," said Celestia, "then I shall banish you to the moon for the rest of eternity." Celestia's horn glowed with a bright light, and Buck and Thoronhope were transformed into ponies. Buck was a red pony with a brown mane and tail, mane in a similar style to Doctor Whooves, and Thoronhope was a blue pony with a black mane and tail, mane longer than Buck's. Both their cutie marks were parasprites.
The first day in Equestria was hell. There were ponies everywhere, the same ponies they had been insulting and slandering for over a year. They couldn't stand how cute Fluttershy was, or how kind.
"Let's race," said Rainbow Dash the next day.
"Not interested," said Thoronhope.
"Find somepony else," said Buck.
"SomePONY?" said Thoronhope. "You idiot! They're getting to you!"
"What?" said Buck.
"They usually say 'somepony' or 'everypony' instead of 'somebody' or 'everybody'."
"How do you even know that?" said Buck. "Are you a spy?"
Buck dashed at Thoronhope, but Applejack bit his tail and held him back.
"Who do you think I am?" said Buck. "Rainbow Dash?"
"And if you hate this show so much, how do you know that Applejack is always biting my tail?" said Rainbow Dash.
"Because that retard at McDonalds kept describing it," said Buck, although this was not true. He had seen Applejack biting Rainbow Dash's tail five separate times that day.
"Point is," said Thoronhope, "we are not racing, and that's final!"
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Buck, Thoronhope, and Berry Punch stood at a racetrack.
"My little ponies!" said Pinkie Pie, who was watching with Spike from a hot air balloon. "The race will begin! We're sure the winner will be Applejack or Rainbow Dash, unless of course they fight each other again."
They raced. Buck and Thoronhope were dead last, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash were in the lead. Rainbow Dash began flying, so Applejack bit her tail to hold her back. Applejack and Rainbow Dash reached the finish line at the same time... but Berry Punch was already there.
"We lost to an alcoholic!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Again," said Applejack.
"HOW COULD I LOSE TO A DRUNK?" said Thoronhope.
"Let's have a party to celebrate the race," said Pinkie Pie.
"I'm not attending any party with ponies," said Thoronhope.
"Ditto," said Buck.
Applejack bit Buck's tail and Pinkie Pie bit Thoronhope's tail and took them to the party.
"WHY PINKIE PIE?" said Thoronhope. "The only time she bites anypony's tail is in Episode 19, during the chain, where she bites Flutter..."
"How the... HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW THAT?" said Buck.
"Pinkie Pie told me herself," said Thoronhope. "She always breaks the fourth wall."
"How do you remember what she said so vividly?" said Buck. "And you gave me hell for saying 'somepony'? You just said 'anypony' right there!"
"NO!" said Thoronhope. "I will not be hypnotized like those other retarded retards!"
"Agreed," said Buck. "Besides, a lot of the world's Bronies are people we are racist towards. I will NOT become one of them."
Both said simultaneously "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my..." They paused, realizing what they were saying, and shoved their hooves into their mouths.
They reached the party.
"Cupcakes!" said Pinkie Pie.
Buck and Thoronhope panicked and ran toward the door, but Applejack and Rainbow Dash bit their tails and pulled them back in.
"Here they are," said Pinkie Pie, holding up some cupcakes.
"Oh thank Celestia," said Buck. "I thought you were going to make us into cupcakes or something."
"Why would I do that?" said Pinkie Pie. "Have you been reading Sergeant Sprinkles's fanfic?"
"DON'T thank Celestia for anything!" said Thoronhope. "She got us into this! She's the reason we're here!"
Pinkie Pie gave them the cupcakes, and forced them down their throat, and although they hated to admit it, they found them extremely delicious.
"Time for Pin the Tail on the Pony!" said Pinkie Pie.
"My favorite!" said Rarity. "Can I have the purple tail?"
"What's the symbology there?" said Thoronhope. "Rarity is the only one of the mane six who has never bitten anypony's tail!"
Rarity bit Thoronhope's tail. "Not anymore."
"HOW THE FUDGE DO YOU KNOW THAT?" said Buck. "There's what, 37 episodes? That's as trivial as trivia gets!"
"I heard that guy ranting about it," said Thoronhope. "And you're keeping an exact count of episodes now?"
"Pinkie Pie said so," said Thoronhope. "She breaks the fourth wall!"
During the party, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash pulled several pranks on Buck and Thoronhope, mostly the same ones in Griffon the Brush-Off.
"All right," said Thoronhope that night, once the party was over. "We'll get back at everypony somehow."
"Maybe we should escape," said Buck.
"How?" said Thoronhope.
"I don't know," said Buck.
"All right then," said Thoronhope. "Let's make them into cupcakes."
"That'd be a little too violent for this show," said Buck.
"What?" said Thoronhope. "Season 2 episode 2 has Discord throwing ponies into fire!"
"How do you..." said Buck. "You know what, never mind."
They both went to sleep. However, they had a nightmare where they were running across a dark plain, and a mare of darkness was chasing after them. Her mane and tail were glowing blue energy, and her cutie mark was a symbol of the moon.
"FOALS!" said Nightmare Moon. "You dare to threaten Ponyville with the same fate as that disturbing fanfic? If either of you say that again, Princess Celestia will banish you to the moon. I was there for a thousand years for trying to bring eternal night."
Buck and Thoronhope fell into a cannon, which launched them to the moon. They fell closer to the moon's surface, and woke up. It was daytime.
"Darn!" said Buck. "Now what'll we do? Luna's haunting our nightmares!"
"Maybe we could get a Hydra to come over here," said Thoronhope. "Or an Ursa Major."
"How about a manticore?" said Buck.
"No," said Thoronhope. "The manticore wasn't evil at all, he just had a thorn in his paw because of Nightmare Moon."
Buck didn't even bother asking Thoronhope how he knew this. "What about a cockatrice?"
"Fluttershy would use The Stare on it," said Thoronhope.
"Do I even want to know what that is?" said Buck.
"I know!" said Thoronhope. "Discord! Let's release Discord from his stone prison like at the beginning of Season 2! Then Equestria will fall into eternal chaos!"
"Yeah!" said Buck. "But how do we release Discord?"
"I brought my laptop," said Thoronhope. "You can watch the Discord episodes and find the best way to release him."
"No," said Buck. "I'm not watching an episode of that show!" He didn't say this out of dislike, but out of fear of being hypnotized.
"It's for a bad cause," said Thoronhope. "Now DO IT! I'll remove one of the mane six so they can't turn Discord back to stone! And I know just who to pick on!"
Thoronhope walked away while Buck, groaning in frustration, went to Equestria Daily and clicked "The Return of Harmony: Part 1."
Without knowing how, Thoronhope made his way to Fluttershy's house. Fluttershy was taking care of the animals in the area. Thoronhope grabbed a rope and tied Fluttershy up.
"I'll lock you in a trunk and hide you somewhere," said Thoronhope. "Buck is watching the Discord episode right now, and when he figures out how to release Discord..."
"You can't bring Discord back!" said Fluttershy. "You have no idea of the things he did!"
"Oh yes we do," said Thoronhope. "In fact, I'm counting on it. Equestria will be SO much nicer with all that chaos!"
Fluttershy looked into Thoronhope's eyes, and used The Stare on him. Thoronhope froze where he was.
"Untie me," said Fluttershy. "Then go to your friend and watch both of the Discord episodes with him."
Thoronhope untied Fluttershy, and ran off to Buck.
"Hey, Thoronhope!" said Buck. "I'll start at the beginning so you can see it all."
Thoronhope was still shaking from Fluttershy's stare. He didn't even bother to argue with Buck. Together, they watched the two Discord episodes.
"Dear Princess Celestia," said Twilight Sparkle as she told Spike to write a letter. "Today, the two newest inhabitants of Ponyville learned to not judge something you know nothing about. Maybe if you give it a chance, it'll turn out to be as good as everyone says it is. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
"Buck?" said Thoronhope next day. "Why was I ever racist?"
"Same reason I was racist," said Buck.
"Which is?" said Thoronhope.
"I can't remember," said Buck.
"I just wish we had different cutie marks," said Thoronhope.
Princess Celestia appeared. "My little ponies. You two learned a valuable lesson. For that, I will not banish you to the moon. You will be returned to your universe."
"No!" said Thoronhope. "I want to stay here in Equestria with all these ponies and discuss trivia about the episodes."
"So do I," said Buck.
"All right," said Celestia.
"Can we have different cutie marks?" said Thoronhope. "Cause Paraspritism isn't our special talent anymore."
Celestia used her magic, and Buck's cutie mark turned into a baseball bat, and Thoronhope's cutie mark turned into a golf club.
"How do you spell Brony?" a radio man asked Benks Fuller, a bully.
"Q U E E R," said Benks, and he and his brother Jirk walked away laughing.
A portal opened up, and both bullies appeared before Princess Celestia.
"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" said Benks and Jirk at once.
"I'm impressed more of you know my name," said Celestia. "The last two only took three days to turn back from the dark side."
"We'll never turn back from the dark side," said Benks.
Celestia turned them into ponies. Their cutie marks were spiked clubs. "Your special talent seems to be beating people with spiked clubs for watching My Little Pony," said Celestia. "I shall give you a week in Ponyville to see just what's so wonderful about it. If you can't turn back from the dark side, I will have to banish you to the moon."
The End