It was the same every year. At the beginning of December people started to turn their houses into castles of lights. In all colors, shapes and sizes lights lightened up the night, made it impossible to see the walls of the house. For a month or so whole Las Vegas looked like Fremont Street and The Strip. Wasn't it crazy? If you thought about it what had lights to do with Christmas? There was one light, the star that guided the three Magi. One. Not one million. And if Sara recalled the Christmas story correct there weren't a million lights on the shed the holy family stayed in. Only a candle light.

So why turn your house into a giant slot machine? Why make Christmas a personal war with your neighbors who had more lights and whose house looked more like fireworks on new years eve.

For her there was only one place where she could feel like Christmas. The place she was right now: Las Vegas Hall of Hope. A big hall for homeless and poor people to come on this special holiday. Around three hundred gathered in the hall, talking to each other, standing around the big tree with barely any lights and some poor decoration. Children made stars, Christmas tree balls and angels out of paper, cardboard, plastic or whatever else they found on the streets. There were around one hundred children, all without presents but a warm meal in their stomach. The Vegas Hall of Hope was a giant soup kitchen tonight and Sara offered her help after she didn't have to work. She reckoned this was the best thing to do on Christmas, the best thing that came close to real Christmas.

"We're done with the food, time to get the presents to the people." Paul, a man in his sixties, put on a Santa Claus costume. They were in a little room in the back. "How do I look?"

"Like Santa has been starving for weeks." Sara said with an apologetic smile. Paul was way too skinny to be Santa. They needed something he could put under his costume.

"I can't put a pot under the costume, that will look ridiculous. I can ask Andrew if he plays Santa for the kids."

"He will look more like Santa."

"You go and put on your angel costume and I find him."

"Yeah." An angel costume. She made a grimace. How they made her put on something like that was still a mystery to her. Helping give out food was one thing, wearing a white skirt and a golden wig another thing. It was for charity, made a lot of children happy who usually had no reason to laugh. Something you had to forget your pride for and do something that embarrassed you in order to make other people happy.

With her costume she went into a little room to change. A short white skirt, a golden shirt, white shoes and golden wings, she looked ridiculous. If this wasn't proof enough that she was a good person she had no idea what else she could do.

"Sara, hurry up, Santa is on his place." Called Paul from the other side of the door.

"Coming!" A long golden hair wig and her costume was complete. Hopefully nobody recognized her like that. Or worse, took a photo of her wearing these things. The guys at work would have a good laugh if they saw her like this.

Placing herself behind Santa she smiled. Smiling and looking nice was what she had to do mostly and when the little sled on wheels was empty she had to take it and get Santa the next one. Four sleds were filled with shoe boxes Sara and half a dozen other helper had filled and wrapped in Christmas paper. The last weeks they had been in hundreds of shops in Vegas and asked the owner to pack a box or two for their charity organization. Most times they got a box or two back, one company even gave them ten boxes and a huge box of chocolate Santa Claus. Five hundred chocolate Santas in total were given away to people here and in other places like this one. It wasn't easy to find volunteers for Christmas but some people did show up and helped.

The first sled was empty, she took it, pulled it to the back and got a new one for Santa. Whoever Santa was made a lot of children smile. With big eyes, some a little big scared, they stepped forward, sat on Santa's lap or stood in front of him. Some talked, some only looked but all had a very happy smile when they got the box. For some it was the first time they got a Christmas present. And because most of their visitors didn't have a home they could stay all here for the night.

The next sled. Halfway through the presents, time to think about what to do with her Christmas evening. In an hour or so and she was free to go to her condo, her empty condo. Should she stay here? Go to the lab? Most of her colleagues were working, usually this was her working night too. Why sit home alone? There was always some work to do, some paperwork to catch up. Plus when she thought of sitting on her sofa alone she felt empty and sad. For so many years she never cared about Christmas, about being with somebody and celebrating. This year was different. If she had a Christmas wish free she'd wish for Grissom to be with her.

Her boss, who was working and didn't care that she was here and later alone, didn't care about the holiday. And he didn't care about her feelings. It had to be like this otherwise he wouldn't have acted the way he did. When she wanted to go out with him three years ago, have dinner together to see what happened, he denied her wish. Then he turned all his attention to Terri Miller, Sara was sure they were more than friends. Plus the shady relationship to Lady Heather, the dominatrix. There were women in his life, his life wasn't all about work and bugs. What did she do wrong that he wasn't interested in her? Why did he treat her like this? When they met in San Francisco she thought there was something between them.

Was it better to leave Vegas? After all, she came here because of him, to be close to him. When he asked her to come to Vegas she hoped it meant, they had a chance to be together. After four years she had to realize she was wrong. Especially after she heard Grissom saying he couldn't give up his work for a woman. If they wanted to be together he had to give up the job he loved, had to step back from being a supervisor. Or she had to change teams. Could she be happy in another team? Working another shift. Why did she think about it? He made the decision for them without asking her.

"Sara, the last sled!" Paul, dressed up like an elf, got her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry." She changed sleds and stepped back. Almost all children had their boxes and sat with their parents together, unwrapping the box and looking what Santa gave them. It could be perfect if they weren't in the Hall of Hope but in their own house. In moments like these Sara realized that despite the fact that she was lonely she had a good life. At least when she concentrated on work and wealth she did good. But weren't there more things to life than work and wealth? What about a family? A partner to share all the good and bad times? Love. Loving somebody and being loved. Would she ever spend a Christmas with a partner? Happy under their Christmas tree?

The last sled was empty, all boxes were given away. After taking the empty sleds back she went to the little room to change into her own clothes again. Time to go home. She did all she could do, she would talk to a few people on her way out and then made a decision if she wanted some take away food or fix something at home. Anything would do.

A knock on the door got her out of her dreams.

"Give me a minute to change, Paul. I'm still wearing the angel costume."

The door was opened and before she could tell Paul to stay out she saw it wasn't Paul. It was Santa.

"You forgot your present, angel Sara."

"Grissom?" She let her wings fall down in surprise. Her eye had to play her a practical joke. This couldn't be true, it couldn't be Grissom who stood in front of her. Wearing a Santa Claus costume, the white beard hanging around his neck.

"It's Santa Claus, Sara."

"Sure." It was Grissom. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be in the lab? He always worked on Christmas Day, just like she did. Usually. Did he know she was here? How could he…she told Greg two weeks ago when they sat in the break room and Grissom walked in. He had heard it, he knew where she was, what she did. He must have planed this.

"You forgot to tell Santa what your wish is."

"I thought Santa is only there for children." And it looked like somebody just fulfilled her wish. He was here.

"No, Santa is there for everybody." He sat down and petted on his lap. "Come on, sit down and tell Santa what you want for Christmas."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course."

This was crazy. She had to be dreaming. But even if she did, this was an opportunity she had to take. With a smile she sat on his lap. It felt good to be close to him, feel his hand on her back, supporting her.

"So tell Santa, have you been a good girl?"

"Depends on who you ask, Santa." She smiled.

"I ask you."

"I think I was a good girl, yes." Most times. The times he knew of. Everything else was better not mentioned.

"Did you always clean your condo?"

"Yes."

"Did you eat enough vegetables?"

"I'm a vegetarian."

"Have you been nice to your colleagues?"

"To my colleagues? Yes."

"Your boss?"

"Maybe not to my boss, he isn't that nice but I think I was nice to my supervisor."

"You think."

"Yes."

"But you're not sure."

"He didn't complain."

"Did you give him a Christmas present?"

"No." She had been thinking about it but then she changed her mind. A present for Grissom was too obvious and after he said he would never give up what he worked for to be with her, she saw no reason in putting more effort in their not existing relationship. Now that she sat on his lap she wished she had something for him.

"What do you want for Christmas, Sara? Tell your wish to Santa."

Okay if wanted to play the Santa game he had to live with her answer. There was no reason to come up with something like a book, a holiday trip or perfume.

"There is this man at my work place. He's handsome, very intelligent and caring. The problem is I think he puts his work over his private life and doesn't really know what I feel for him, how important he is to me. I'm afraid I will never be as important as his job to him and he will continue breaking my heart."

"That doesn't sound like he is a smart man."

"He is. He's just…not willing to give up what he worked for so hard."

"Do you think work is more important than love, Sara?"

"It doesn't matter what I think, my thoughts won't change his mind. But I will cope, don't worry about me, Santa." Somehow she had coped so far and would be able to continue to do so. Every now and then there would be a harder day, a day when it hurt more that they were nothing but colleagues. After bad days follow good days a teacher in high school said once.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. What do you want for Christmas, Santa? Nobody ever asks you, tell your angel what your wish is."

"All I want for Christmas is you." And with this Grissom pulled Sara in his arms and kissed her gently. Thousands of butterflies started flying around like crazy inside Sara's belly when she felt his lips on hers. The moment she had been waiting for over four years. They were kissing. Finally.

Maybe wishes do come true on Christmas day.

Merry Christmas to everybody!