Eyes Unclouded By Hate
Gaara's first memory was seeing eyes unclouded by hate. In his infant eyes, he could only feel the memory. He could feel the unconditional love seeping toward him. As time went by, Gaara could eventually say the person's name. Yashamaru. Through his little eyes, the child could see how hated he was by others. Yashamaru couldn't explain why, or maybe he didn't want to explain why to the little boy. At the age of three, Gaara had been introduced to his family. The council had said it was time that the weapon of Sunagakure to relinquish its shell. "But you're my family, Yashamaru." His uncle had simply smiled sadly and gently laid his hand above Gaara's shoulder. "The sand is there to protect you, Lord Gaara." Even then, the sand had protected Gaara. Curiously, only Yashamaru had been able to touch Gaara as an infant. That was why he was charged with taking care of him. However, the sand now despised Yashamaru's touch. But his beloved uncle was never far away. Gaara remembered of how his older brother and sister, at the tender age of five and six, had whimpered at the sight of him, and had hide behind their father. Their hateful and fearful eyes still echoed in his mind. "Yashamaru, do I…cause people pain?"
Gaara remembered of how lonely and isolated he had been as a child. His only salvation was training with his father. Even then though, there was pain. Gaara knew that his father was the Yondaime Kazekage even at his young age. But still…there was hate in the man's eyes. Gaara would have hugged his knees if he could, knowing that it was he who had ended his mother's life. Perhaps that was why his father and siblings hated him…and not because of the something inside him. The children's face was still in his mind. They were playing, as Gaara was swinging with his teddy bear tightly in his hands. They had run away from him, as he cried to be with them. I don't want to be alone any more… He didn't mean to hurt them with his sand, Yashamaru assured him. It was a mistake, and nothing more. Gaara remained sad though. Guilt-ridden thoughts ran through his mind. He remembered how the children screamed as the sand touched them, and Yashamaru's blood soaking in the sand. Gaara hadn't experienced pain before, or touch even. His memories as an infant were whispers to him now. "What is pain?" Yashamaru had explained to him what pain was. The pain Gaara had. "Wounds of the heart are a bit different. Unlike the wounds of the body, there are no medicines that can help them to feel better…and sometimes they never ever heal." Gaara had thought that his mother's love and Yashamaru's love would be enough to heal the wound in his heart. But it was a lie. Only the ones that had hated Gaara had spoken the truth.
"No, you were never loved!" It had been six years since Yashamaru tried to kill him. The memories still lingered. Gaara grew stronger from the wound in his heart. The hate helped him grow stronger. His father no longer tried to assassinate him every night of his birthday. The pale green eyes once full of loneliness and pain became empty, especially on that day. "But Lord Gaara…deep down inside…I think I...resented you…for stealing the life of my beloved sister with your birth…and since that day…I think I have carried a wound of a heart that will never heal…" Gaara too now carried a wound of the heart that would never heal. From knowing that he was never loved. Gaara knew what he existed for ever since that day. "I am a relic of the past that wish to erase and forget. So what is my propose? Why I am alive?" He remembered the look of horror and shock on the Konohagakure genin's faces as he told them the truth. "…For as long as there are people out there for me to kill…then I will not cease to exist." Killing people or anything brought him the only joy he could experience. He felt alive, just as his mother had wanted him to. He was alone. That had changed once he had battled Uzumaki Naruto. The boy had not fought for himself. Naruto had fought to protect the ones he loved, knowing he could very well be killed by Gaara. The long-ago words spoken to him by Yashamaru echoed in the wounded boy's ears. Is that what love was Yashamaru?
Is that was love is, Yashamaru? Gaara had battled the Akatsuki until he was defeated. He remembered the faces of his shinobi as he defended the village. He had no fear for his life. Gaara only had fear for the people who trusted him with their life. He and his brother Kankurō had become very close over the years, as had his ties to the village. Some of the villagers still feared him, but the bonds he had with his siblings obscured their hate and fear. He remembered the day he had met Matsuri, his student. The brown haired had been afraid, but not of him. The young and innocent teenager had been deathly afraid of weapons, for they had killed her parents in front of her eyes. Gaara had steadily mended her fear, and soon the shy and low self-esteemed girl that Matsuri had been blossomed into a strong konoichi who could handle any weapon. Gaara trusted her with his life. It was she who had listened to him as he confessed his fears about his strength once he was no longer a jinchūriki. "I believe in you, Gaara-sama, and so does everyone else. You only need to believe in yourself. That's what true strength is. You taught me that, remember?" Gaara had healed her wounded heart, and he could see that she wanted to heal him too, just as he had done. Matsuri… It was only when his father returned, telling him the truth, that his heart finally healed. It was only remembering the bonds he forged with his precious people that had allowed him to defeat the Second Mizukage. When Naruto came into the war, Gaara understood why. It was the same reason why Matsuri had taken part of the Fourth Shinobi World War even as a Sunagakure genin. "I want to protect people important to me, even at the cost of my own life."
As Gaara closed his eyes, blood pooling down his front, he remembered the people who had caused him to become the shinobi he was today. To a lonely boy to a hateful demon to a man with eyes unclouded by hate. Gaara thought of the people that had haunted his life and had given him a reason for living. Kankurō…Temari…Okasan…Yashamaru…Naruto…Matsuri…you all have allowed me to see eyes unclouded by hate.
I no longer have a broken heart. Thank…you…