Disclaimer: I don't own ER or anything associated with it. They all belong to their respectful owners.

A/N: This is my first Reela fic. Reviews are much appreciated. Constructive criticisms, remarks, etc are all welcomed. Italics represent Ray's thoughts.

Happy Reading!

Summary: Neela leaves abruptly and Ray is shattered. He has to pick up the broken pieces comes to face the fact that there is such thing as fate. (This story is definitely a Reela! No doubt! Intially it may seem not, but please bare with me it is going to be.) Not it isn't angsty..it may seem so...but it's kinda light hearted! ...

Prologue (London is waiting)

Initially he just needed someone to help him split the rent. He could care less who it was. Sure enough, it was her. They made sure they would work opposite shifts to see less of each other. But damn the scheduling. He ended up working the same shifts as her. Then they slowly started to become friends. She made him realize his potential as a doctor. He helped her discover the risky side lost within a meek young girl. They soon started to enjoy each other's company more and more. And one fateful day, he looked into her eyes as she was about to go for a conference, she gazed into his. His feelings for her were confirmed, and he reckoned she felt the same. Falling in love was the last thing you expect from the king of night stands right?

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2 years earlier:

2 years. It had been two years when he had finally mustered the courage to confront her about his feelings. Yes, he was going to go home and tell her. Tell her about everything he felt. Tell her that she had changed him, made him stronger, better. Hell, she even became the best friend he ever had!

"Just go home Barnett and tell her!"

He eagerly went home that day only to be greeted by a note. His eyes wandered around the apartment. All of her things were gone.

"What the …"

He simply gazed down at the piece of paper.

Dear Ray,

I don't know where to start. I know what you may be thinking as you read this. What the hell Neela… how can you leave like this? I assure you I didn't want to. I never intended to either. I just did. There are somethings you do in the spur of the moment. It may not make sense, but you just have to do them. This is one of those things. Nothing had been harder for me ever do than move out and not even give you a good rational reason. I sorry Ray. I truly am. That's all I can say. I am sorry for constantly nagging you. I am sorry for all the little useless bickering. I am sorry for this. The best thing to do is forget about this and move on. I guess I just need some space to think clearly. I need to go and find myself. Moving to America has made everything so hectic. I am going back to England to find my self. Hell, I don't even make sense right now. I guess all I am asking is that you be understanding of my choice and forgive me. You were the best roommate ever and if there is one last thing you can do for me (I know I am selfish)…can you please forgive me? I will always remember our cherished moments. You have no idea how much anguish this is causing. I know I can go on and on about this... For the last time, please forgive me for anything I may have done to hurt you. Who knows…maybe we will meet again.

Yours and always yours,

Neela (A.K.A. semi-annoying roommate)

Ray just stared at the paper. Just looking at it. He didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Everything seemed so surreal. He didn't know what to feel, he didn't want to feel. There were so many emotions running through him at once. Hurt…sorrow…anger…confusion….relief…

He felt hurt because she just left him like that with out a proper explanation.

He felt sorrow because he was hurt. He finally loved someone, he finally cared about someone more than life it self. He had cared… and then what? Yeah, he cared only to lose them.

"Damn… "

He felt anger, especially at her. How dare she! She thinks leaving a note will make him understand everything. No, fuck it wouldn't. She didn't even explain exactly as to why she left so abruptly.

He felt confusion because he was confused as to what he should be feeling. Yeah thinking about that made him even more baffled. Typical Barnett. confused about everything.

And somewhere in the corner of his mind, he felt relived. At least he didn't have to go on with confession of his feelings for her.

"Damn…damn this, damn…Love is overrated anyways. "

For a while, the word damn became his mantra. He would damn everything for whatever flaw he could think of.

"Damn…damn…damn…"

He didn't cry. He couldn't. He was feeling far too many things for that to happen. He knew he couldn't exist in that phase forever either. He knew somehow he would have to get over this, her, and move on. He was well aware that is was not going to be easy. He always heard people say how hard it was to forget one's first love. He just never anticipated it was going to be this difficult.

"………………………"

Ray didn't bother to think about the situation more and try to complicate it. He simply went to bed. He had an early shift and needed all the rest he could get. He couldn't just quit and start running from problems when things became complicated. Neela maybe could…but he wouldn't. He was stronger than that. What he really need now was some shut eye.

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2 years later (present)

His life had definitely picked up from two years ago. He couldn't and wouldn't halt his life waiting for Neela to come. He wasn't even sure that Neela would reciprocate the feelings he felt. He had right to be happy and find love in his life again. He couldn't be bound by his former feelings forever.

He dated, but very seldom. He didn't see the point in though when he constantly compared other girls to her, Neela. Why did he always manage to think about her when he made sure that he didn't want to remember anything associated with her?

"Only god knows…"

But then he become serious with one girl, Jane. Sure she was no Neela-"See Neela again...god I'm hopeless," -but she was as close as you can get. She was even British!

"Jane…Jane...Jane…not Neela…JANE!!!!"

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Starbucks

"Ray?" Jane was staring at Ray for a while now trying to break into his thoughts. They were sitting at coffee house looking rather cozy.

Jus then Ray realized someone was talking to him. "Oh sorry Jane…I was just thinking," Ray said a smoothly as possible.

"Ray Barnett...thinking…hmm so that's what the look is," joked Jane

"Oh yeah, always the funny one," Ray joked back.

"But seriously, I have lived in your side of the world and I have been getting homesick lately"

"So…." Ray was just plain confused. What was she trying to get at?

"Ok, I got two tickets to England without asking you. Butttttttttt, before you say anything…you have to come. I'll show my side of the world…you know pubs…friends… sight seeing. Plus it's my friends birthday. I'm sure you'll like her. And the tickets are non-refundable. So no excuse" Jane was practically on her knees.

"Uhh…yeah I guess. I'm on two week break anyways." Ray laughed as she jumped up to give him a tight hug.

"So when do we leave?"

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London International Airport

"Here we are…home sweet home," Jane was obviously excited to be back in England.

"Ohh yeah…it's just like Chicago," Ray replied with rather less excitement.

"Ray, darling, I know how you feel, but please try to contain your enthusiasm," Jane was a little pissed off at Ray's remark.

"Whatttttttt, I was just joking," Ray tried to sound sincere for once.

"Never mind, just help me load the bags into the taxi."

"Sure thing London…errr….Jane" Jane just glared at his pathetic comment.

"Thank god your looks make up for you corniness," Jane bantered playfully.

"Hurry up Jane…London is waiting" sing songed Ray snickering at the last comment.

If only Ray knew who else lived in London…but again that's fate right?

Note: Please tell me about you think of the story, etc.. THANKS!!! Yea I know it's corny at times, but it's going to get better!