I don't own CSI.
It's been a while since I wrote a Brass/Sofia story, but I thought I should after the 14th season première. This does contain spoilers for 14x01, so you've been warned! Please read and review!
And more Jackson stories are on the way :)
Jim Brass sat on the front pew, staring at the coffin. Nancy was the only woman he'd ever loved, and even if they had a bitter divorce, she did try to help Ellie. Now their daughter was in jail for Nancy's murder. Every time Jim thought about how he wanted to help Ellie, he always thought he'd be called to identify her body. When he stared her down after Nancy's murder, there was nothing but hate in Ellie's eyes. He knew then she was too far gone to ever be redeemed.
In the back of the chapel, deputy chief Sofia Curtis silently watched the man she respected and loved so much. She knew Ellie hated her father, but always hoped - for his sake - she would make amends with him. She wanted to hate Nancy, but after talking to her after Ellie's disappearance, she knew the woman just wanted to find her daughter and was truly sorry for whatever wrong she'd done to Jim.
As the mourners filed out of the chapel, Sofia said hello to Nick, Sara, and Greg. They'd been more of a family to Jim than Ellie ever was. She also greeted Finn and Russell, smiling at the new members of the CSI family.
The priest patted Jim's shoulder and offered words of comfort - though he knew nothing would take the pain of knowing his ex-wife was killed by his daughter. Everyone said Jim shouldn't blame himself, and he knew he that. But he loved Nancy, and didn't want to punish her even in death.
Jim turned and saw a familiar blonde standing by the back row. A sad smile crossed his face when he saw Sofia Curtis. She was there for Jim after the Langston debacle and was a welcome source of comfort ever since.
Sofia met Jim's gaze and smiled sadly. She hated Ellie for what she put Jim through, but knew Jim was the only father she ever knew.
Knowing there were no words to express the pain he was feeling, Sofia walked over to Jim. Everyone else said "I'm sorry," or expressed their condolences - Sofia simply took Jim's hand. The simple gesture brought tears to the detective's eyes as he looked at the woman who never judged him for his past mistakes. She just loved him.
Wrapping her arms around him, Sofia found herself shedding tears. She knew too much hatred and anger led to this sad day. She held Jim, allowing him to cry.
After a few moments, Jim pulled away. He wiped his eyes as Sofia offered a sympathetic smile.
"Don't apologize," Sofia said softly. "There's been more than enough anger and hurt...you have nothing to be sorry for."
"Ah," Jim sighed angrily. "Only my daughter..." he looked away as more tears threatened to fall.
"Jim," Sofia said softly but sternly. "Ellie made her choices...and I know you're not going to like this, but so did Nancy."
Jim nodded, knowing Sofia was right. Nancy had used his job as an excuse to leave the marriage. Both cheated, but only Jim cared enough to try to help Ellie when she was on the streets.
Sofia knew Jim blamed himself for Nancy's murder. Holding his gaze, she said, "You did nothing wrong." When Jim looked away, she caressed his cheek in her hand, bringing his eyes to meet hers. "I used to wonder how someone could have so much hate...and I am angry at Nancy for passing her anger to Ellie."
Jim breathed deeply, knowing Sofia was right. Nancy had used his job as an excuse. But she was also the only woman he'd ever loved - even though he thought he could feel that way about the woman in front of him.
Sofia smiled sympathetically. "I wish...I wish things could have been different. But you did everything in your power to help Ellie. She's the one who didn't want to be helped."
Chuckling sadly, Jim said, "I wish it was that simple."
Taking the detective's hand, Sofia held his gaze. "You did everything you could do. Do not blame yourself for this."
Jim looked into Sofia's caring, concerned eyes. "I'd always thought I could help her...or I'd be called to identify her body. I never..." He looked away as more tears fell.
Sofia sighed softly and pulled Jim into her arms. "I'm angry at her...and Nancy." She looked into Jim's eyes when they pulled away. "But...I'm trying to let go. Too much hate and anger led to..." her eyes fell on the coffin.
Jim knew Sofia was right. Taking a deep breath, he said a silent prayer that Ellie would somehow forgive him even though he knew Nancy was just as much to blame for her as he was.
Sensing Jim was truly trying to let go of the anger that claimed Nancy's life and his relationship with Ellie, Sofia smiled softly. "It will take time," she said softly. "But you will come out of this, and you will be okay."
Knowing Sofia was right, Jim sighed quietly. He knew Ellie might never forgive him, but he needed to forgive himself. Looking at the beautiful woman before him, Jim said, "I'll get there."
Sofia smiled softly and took Jim's hand. "You will."
Jim watched as the coffin was moved to the limo and sighed sadly. As much as he wanted to blame Nancy for everything, he knew he had to bear some of the blame. He also knew Nancy's death was because of so much blame and anger. He said a silent prayer for Nancy and Ellie, and for his own forgiveness.
Sofia also said a silent prayer, but it was for Jim alone. She knew Jim might never forgive himself for what happened, but he was not to blame.
Looking at the beautiful woman who never judged him and just wanted to be there, Jim smiled sadly. "I'll get there." He took Sofia's hand and the two left the chapel.
The End.