Slow Burn

spacegypsy1

Stargate SG-1 - Daniel and Vala – The slow progression of Daniel Jackson's capitulation into the receptive arms of Vala Mal Doran. Daniel's POV.

~o0o~

Shivering from hours running up hill in the drenching, freezing rain did nothing to cool the heat of desire that flared up within seconds of pulling Vala against me and wrapping her as close as possible for protection.

We couldn't have made it much further. We were way past exhausted. The hollow upright space in the gigantic tree was certainly a gift from the heavens, however, it afforded no room between us.

I'd wedged a good bit of various plant life into the opening having had a few minutes before we heard anything. Voices called out -too far to discern if they were alien or not. Tracking dog-like creatures whined and sniffed close by. Hopefully the icy rain was covering our scent and we were safe. I had no way of seeing out as my head was turned just far enough so I couldn't have attempted to see through the vegetation. Vala's face rested against my shoulder.

No sense trying to calm my breathing... between abject fear, running up hill, and the rising passion I did not need right now, there was nothing I could do. Her ragged breath – from whatever mixture of conditions - on my neck, was warm and tantalizing. Her breasts pressing into me with each breath. My mind stopped thinking about death from aliens, the squiggle, gelatinous, horror movie type we'd encountered and I started to wonder if there was some chance that we, Vala and I, could... I squeezed my eyes tight to dispel the thought and to resurrect survival mode.

We'd lost track of Mitchell and Teal'c some time ago when we'd split up in hopes of making a wide circle back to the Stargate. I needed to keep my mind on escaping capture and meeting up with our team.

So there we were. Smashed together, intimately. Her earthy, cold, wet scent was nothing short of erotic. Her heartbeat seemed to come from inside of me. It wouldn't be long before my reaction to her nearness became evident. One might think the nearness of a horrific death on an alien planet might have the blood flow clog up in my head or heart and not my groin. Not so. Take it from me. I'm as turned on as I have ever been. Her incremental attempts to get even closer, assumably for warmth, did not help the situation.

I began to recite, in my head, in Goa'uld, then Ancient, and an attempt at Unus, Merlin's recipe for pappa al pomadoro, tomato soup as we know it. And yes, that is still with me for some reason. Then, as I should have expected, my mind switched gears – to Vala. I'm not sure if things have changed between us because of the years or the changes in her... and me. Not that we've ever admitted that.

Someone yelled. A staff blast followed by gunfire echoed around us. The zing of a zat sizzled loudly nearby.

"Jackson?" Mitchell called.

"Here!" I responded and was rewarded by Teal'c ripping the plants out at the same time as Vala worked her way out by all but slithering across my body. Not. A. Good. Thing. I wondered if I would get a little time to recuperate from that.

"Jackson!" Our CO barked out.

Okay, not gonna recover. I took my time moving out into the open all the while pulling my shirttail out and mumbling something about spiders to cover up my attempt to, well, cover up. Mitchell was putting his jacket around Vala's shoulders. Then he turned gave orders to move and move fast. My gaze landed on Vala's and from the strange look she gave me I think she'd been aware and it confused her.

With a quirk of a brow, a one shoulder shrug, and then the military hand signal to go forward I took up a position behind her and heard a sort of tiny snort from Teal'c who stepped in behind me. Damn it! I may as well have had a neon sign flashing over my head stating 'man in lust'... or maybe 'man in love'. Actually, maybe, both. Maybe.

~o0o~

I have pneumonia. Not my fault! We'd had another three clicks in freezing rain. Trotting along, weaving back and forth in an effort to confuse or lose our pursuers.

Vala on the other hand is fine and out of the infirmary. I guess Mitchell's jacket warmed her up a bit. She'd come to visit just a while ago. Looking lovely. Healthy. Happy. Her smile was classic Vala. Her demeanor bubbly, but there was an undercurrent of uncertainty.

Her soft voice had called my name like an endearment, not a question, "Daniel". I opened my eyes and tried to speak, which of course set me off into a fit of coughing. Appearing shocked and worried she gasped, I tried to calm her by waving my hands but dizziness overtook me and I nearly passed out before Dr. Lam came to my rescue. Or her rescue. The nurse on duty came to mine. She shot me full of something that made me feel all warm and fuzzy...

~o0o~

"Ah, darling, I see you are sitting up today and looking, hmm, not quite as pale. So you must be on the mend."

"Must be. Hopefully. At least I'm not contagious." I can't seem to take my eyes off of her. I'm not sure what is going on with me. With her. It's strange.

"Doesn't matter." She quips with a little smile. "I'm immune. One of the good things about having Naquadah in my blood."

She comes close. Her fingers comb through my hair. "You look quite adorable with your hair sticking up every which-a-way." Her words spoken could not compare to the old Vala and her attempt to be coquettish. Her voice, her body language, her expression all are sweet and playful.

I take her wrist, gently, just holding on. "And you look very pretty today." Did she just blush I wondered?

Her head ducked. Vala took a deep breath. "It's... well a new dress. And we're all on down time to be here for you. And I wanted to look... cheerful for you."

The urge to bring her wrist to my lips was unimaginably difficult! Though I managed to resist. I need to clear my head. To figure out what's happening here. Vala. Vala Mal Doran is flirting. But not in the manner she used to. No. This... this seems different. Real.

I let go of her wrist. She moved further away.

"Dinner will be here soon. I thought I might stay and have dinner with you... if you don't mind."

"Sure." I say followed by something I cannot believe came out of my mouth. "Our second date."

~o0o~

The following morning brought on a headache, dizziness, general tiredness. Carolyn chastised me for staying up late talking and laughing with Vala. I didn't feel the least bit contrite. Though, I didn't feel so good physically.

A few days went by as I was in and out of sleep. My fever had spiked again and I went on a second round of antibiotics. I do remember Vala did stop by. I remember her hand in my hair. Her sweet kiss on my cheek. Once I woke up and she was asleep, her hand in mine. Gods! I think I love her and for some unknown reason I don't think that's a bad thing.

There is no one to talk to about this. No one. The people I depend on would not for any reason be the ones to discuss my feelings to. Once.. once I thought if I could only talk to Sha're... and then shocked at that I felt suddenly alone. Unsure.

I dreamed of Sha're scolding me for hanging on way too long. For ignoring the gift right in front of me. But when I woke up, feeling much, much better I put it aside as just a dream. A crazy dream.

Two days later, sitting up and feeling great, I nearly chocked on my orange juice when Vala showed up. Her hair was loose, curly, dark and shining. She wore a blue tight fitted tee shirt and form fitting white jeans. "Hullo," She said, voice low. "May I come in?"

Wiping at the juice on my hospital shirt I mumbled. "Of course."

"I thought I might be banned for almost killing you. I've had to sneak in in the middle of the night before today."

"I'm fine. It's good to see you." I patted the side of the bed indicating she sit. She didn't.

We didn't talk. She combed my hair, straitened my covers, stacked my books neatly. Then with a deep sigh she finally sat on the bed in the space I had made for her. Fidgeting with her hands she ducked her head.

"Daniel?" She asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think it's some kind of alien influence something or the other?" She raised her eyes and locked gazes with me.

I didn't hesitate, "This?" I indicated what I felt she was calling 'it's' by pointing back and forth between us.

She nodded, lifting her face to me. "Yes."

"How?"

Shrugging, Vala smiled.

I laughed and shrugged also.

Grinning large she stood. "Well, I hear the nurse rolling her cart down the hall so I better go. I'll be back later. Can I bring you something?"

"Like what?"

"An ancient tome? A rare artifact? A forbidden morsel? Caffeine?"

"You. Bring me you." I said as my heart began to beat faster.

Vala's eyes grew wide and she drew in a breath, recovered quickly and with a nod she departed saying, "Not a problem."

~o0o~

Again, I dreamed of Sha're but Vala was Sha're. Grinding flour. Making flava beans. Beating the sand out of our bedding. Feeding the goats. Being kidnapped by the Goa'uld. Taken as a host! I woke up in a sweat. Gasping. About to scream.

"Dr. Jackson? Are you alright?"

I recovered nodding at the nurse. "Yeah, just a bad dream."

"Well, I can let you sleep if you want. Although it's nearly breakfast time. I can go ahead and do your workup so you can be all done when Ms Mal Doran arrives."

"Oh, sure. And what's your name again?"

The nurse began her duties. "Mary."

"Mary, call me Daniel."

"Alright. I'm going to sit you in the wheel chair while I change your bed." Once I was in the chair she went on, "I've only had clearance now for about 6 months. Meeting Ms Mal Doran gives me hope for humankind. To know that she is from some other world but as human as me is comforting. I really like her. She's obviously crazy about you. And who wouldn't be crazy about her? She's so pretty, and smart and I hear she is very good with weapons and alien space ships! What a world we live in..."

I didn't hear much more of what she was going on about because I was stuck on 'she's obviously crazy about you'. "It is obvious. I wonder if it's obvious that I'm crazy about her?"

Mary laughed. "Of course it is! You are over the moon for her."

Dismayed that I'd said it out loud I closed my eyes.

"All done. I'll roll you to the bathroom and you can wash off and change into clean scrubs, don't shower, you're still a bit wobbly but you have a little time before she arrives. I'll be right outside if you get dizzy, hit the panic button or call my name, okay?"

"Okay." I consented, thinking over the moon for her, eh? Maybe. Yes. That about explains it.

~o0o~

Vala arrived with my breakfast, bringing it in herself. She wore a mildly low cut dress, tight across the bodice but flowing to just above the knees. It was emerald in color and almost iridescent. Legs covered with black high heeled boots clicked on the tile as she walked. In other words. Wow, she looked stunning.

"Good morning, darling. I checked with Carolyn and got permission to bring you some iHop pancakes, bacon and real coffee! So we can have breakfast together."

"Date three?"

"Yes, I hope so, anyway." She rolled the hospital bed table over and place my breakfast on it. Then she sat in the chair beside my bed and dug out her own breakfast.

"Why don't' you sit up here and use the end of my table?"

"Because I can't be that close to you... too tempting. I might want to touch you...inappropriately." she teased me.

"You can touch me." I said with all seriousness. Someone needs to stop me from this madness!

"Daniel Jackson! What has gotten into you? Although, actually, you do owe me a nakedness view. You know since you have seen me naked."

"Yes. I know. I remember."

"Well aren't you feisty this morning. Feeling better?"

"Much."

We ate in silence for a while. Exchanging looks intermittently, looks that said things words cannot express.

"I have to go soon." Vala said cleaning up the breakfast mess. "I'm meeting Sam and Caro for a shopping spree and lunch since we haven't had any girl time in quite a while. I'll miss you. And be back late this afternoon."

"Oh, right. Sure. Ah, er, you're not wearing that dress are you?"

"Why?"

"Its kind of sexy."

"Don't be silly. It's just a dress. Now be good. And be kind to Dr. Sommers, he's very nice and Caro needs some time off! So, you think I'm sexy or just the dress?"

~o0o~

It was late when she returned chirping away about Sam and Carolyn. It made me happy that she has such good friends and jealous that they took her time away. But not too jealous. I like to see her happy, and Sam is like a sister to me, and well, Carolyn and I are friends too. And so... what are Vala and I?

Something to figure out.

Vala walked across my infirmary room to the corner where the wheelchair sat. "Since you've had your dinner, maybe I can push you around in that wheelchair? You seem hearty and healthy for a outing? Roll around the corridor?"

"Sure we could go."

Pushing the chair she stopped beside my bed. "Hmmm, what about all the wires and gadgets?"

"Gadgets get unhooked and the IV goes on the pole on the chair and goes with us."

"Ah ha." she pushed the chair to the other side.

"I'll unhook. You move the bottle, there," I pointed, "onto the pole."

All done, she asks. "Ready?"

"Sure." I scooted to the side of the bed and planted my feet firmly on the floor. She held the chair, but when I swayed she moved in to hold me steady.

We were face to face, mouths not far apart. I licked my lips. "A little woozie, I'll be fine in a minute." I said eyes on hers, mouth open near hers, hovering.

Her gaze didn't waver. I leaned closer, my unattached hand come to rest on the side of her breast. My mouth moved closer. She lifted her face anticipating the kiss. My free hand slid down to her waist, then to her ….

"Damn, Vala, you're not wearing any panties? Did you go shopping," I asked all the while my mouth hovering, "without panties?"

Her breath was sweat and inviting, her lips wet and wanting. "If I didn't then that means I took them off before coming to visit... or, more likely I do have on panties. The barely there kind. And, why my darling, are you concerned about my panties? Hmm?"

Our mouths had just touched when I heard Dr. Sommers call out to someone from the hallway outside my room. Vala jumped back and I all but fell into the bed.

~o0o~

Boredom is not something I'm very familiar with. There is a back log of work and it's the kind of work I enjoy. However, sitting in this infirmary room with little to distract me is just short of painful.

Dr. Lam stopped by to let me know SG-1 is in a meeting and no I was not allowed to leave my room... even though she has hinted that my release is imminent. Sometimes she can be controlling. Or maybe a really thorough physician.

Finally after much discussion (me begging) I have permission to shower and dress in real clothes. She will be back to run a few tests and talk about my release. And again... no I cannot go to the conference room now.

There is a moment of sheer bliss when hot water rushes over my body – from head to toe. It is relaxing and rejuvenating at the same time. Happily I feel alive again. Whole. Maybe not whole... I really need to scrub that thought out of my head. Suddenly, with eyes closed and warm water washed over my face, I can see her – flesh burned in Ver Eger, and her miraculous save by the Prior. And I knew I loved her then, but I was too afraid to admit it... that I could love again.

I heard her. "Daniel?" she calls or is it my imagination. I turned the shower off. Listened.

"Daniel?"

Stepping out of the shower I wrap a towel around my hips and tuck it tightly in place as I open the door a bit. "Vala?" She's in full uniform and looking a bit nervous. "What's going on?" I asked.

She's blatantly gazes up and down my body.

"Something wrong?" I try to get her attention, worried.

"Ah, no. Nope. Just that... that..." again her eyes are on me moving up and down from head to toe. "I need that towel, darling, it's only fair, you know?"

"Vala!" I admonish to stop her ranting about the damned towel.

"Oh, alright. So.. the Jello, um, Jello "people"", she used air quotes, "that we encountered were apparently invaders. And the... er, indigenous "people"", and again said with air quotes, "contacted us. They have the fatty tentacles like on that sci-fi TV show..."

"Vala!" Again I felt the need to get her on the right track.

"Okay, so the indigenous ones contacted us to ask for help, and we are going. Like now."

As if on cue the intercom blared, "Vala Mal Doran report immediately to the Gate room!"

"You're leaving now?" I asked, incredulous.

"Yes. Didn't you hear that? So can I have the towe..."

I swooped in and kissed her, taking her face in my hands, kissing her with every bit of love I felt. Then I let her go just as suddenly as I had taken ahold of her. "Later you can have the damned towel. Stay safe. I won't lose you. I really care about you. Got it?"

Her eyes opened wide and she grinned, shifting to and fro. "Ye..."

"Vala!" Colonel Mitchell's yell came over the speakers.

And off she went.

A spur of the moment confession is the strangest thing I have ever done. And... that kiss. A strong desire to stake my claim? I'm so confused I feel like I'm on a slow burning rotisserie. And strangely enough I like it.

~o0o~

I took off my glasses and tossed them on the console. Rubbed my eyes. Stared unseeing through the glass panels. Two days. Check-ins are regular... without any headway. I spend my time up here when I can. Walter and I are old friends and he is oblivious to my presence when he needs to be.

While I wait for her... them to contact us I pass the time drinking coffee and trying to stop the need to analyze my feelings for Vala. I'm studying a book I've read many times – digitally or some library copy. And now, here, I hold it carefully in my hands. One of many gifts from Catherine Langford. It's a first edition, from 1898. One of the first definitive books on Hieroglyphics. I set it aside wrapping it back in the tissue paper, then the box and back into my pack. It's about time for a check-in.

I stand while the Stargate locks in. At last the video feed comes through.

We lock gazes. She grins and waves that wacky wave of hers. Mitchell, Sam and Teal'c stand beside her, tolerant.

"Hullo, darling." she said then starts her fast talking, "so, the jello peeps are actually, or so it seems, the indigenous ones. It's all so very confusing. And I liked you better in the towel. But even Annie your replacement and quite a good one, can't quite break the code or linguistics or whatever to completely understand them... so you see..."

"Jackson," Mitchell interrupts, "what she's try to say is..."

"You need me to translate, communicate with them. I'm not cleared for active duty. I have to have a stress test Monday. No amount of begging has loosened my leash."

"Damn. I'll talk to General Landry, see what I can do. Otherwise we're coming home soon."

"Colonel," Landry appeared in the room and spoke to Mitchell. "Not going to happen. Pack it up and get back. We'll see what Dr. Lam says in the next day or so."

The transmission ended and I turned around to see Carolyn standing there.

"Daniel, we need to talk." she says quietly and walks off.

~o0o~

Maybe after another chest x-ray and a head to toe imaging with every known technology Carolyn might let me loose. However, it will be a few days before it's done. I wait patiently for Vala's return. I can't wait to see her. Touch her. Kiss her. Okay, so I'm hooked. No denying what's going on here.

I followed Carolyn to the infirmary.

She listens to my lungs. "Sounds good. Still I want you to understand what I mean by not returning to active duty."

"I know," I say frustrated.

"I don't think you do."

"Why?"

"Because, Daniel, you've only been out of the infirmity one whole day! You're still on a little medication. Even though the last x-ray shows clear lungs we have to be sure before any strenuous activity so that you don't collapse a lung in the midst of said strenuous..."

"Wait. What are you trying to tell me?" Now I'm getting worried.

"I'm not blind to what's going on. I'm trying to tell you that," she took a deep breath, "that your upcoming date with Vala has to be..."

I'm reeling. "Platonic?" I blurted out.

"At this time. Maybe Monday will clear all this up. It's not the end all do all. There's other things, beside... strenuous activity. Quit being such a big baby."

"Holy buckets! Three days? And what makes you think my 'date' is... is... is..."

"Vala's my friend. She's in love with you and she is a healthy woman with... you know, needs. After all she hasn't been with anyone since her wedding night to Tomin and..."

The look on my face must have alerted Carolyn that this is all news to me.

"Oh hell!" she says. "I thought, I mean I assumed she'd told you. You two have been getting closer. I mean at least she thinks so. Oh, God! Poor Vala. She's misread this whole thing with you. She'll be devastated. You cannot tell her..."

"She didn't misread anything. And don't worry. I won't say anything." I know I was grinning like a fool. Then it struck me that I would be seeing her and that if things go well, she would expect... "oh crap." I muttered.

"Do you want me to explain the no strenuous activity to her?"

"No! Well... er... no. Damn." I stood there shaking my head and wondering how in all the universe I ended up here, now, like this. Confused about love and lust and past and present... and future. The sirens went off, Walter's obligatory, "Incoming," blared over the speakers and I knew SG-1 was back. "Damn."

~o0o~

"Hey," I say. She takes my hand and I let her and we walk to the infirmary for her post mission exam. I leave her there and ask her to meet me in my office when she's through. I look up and catch Carolyn's eye. The doctor nods and looks away.

I went and talked to Landry but he wouldn't budge. I mean really, two days on that planet would be a whole lot less strenuous then trying to keep a tight rein on my libido.

Looking around my office I caught sight of the picture of Sha're and I smiled. I'm ready to put the past behind me. I stood there for the longest time staring at that picture. She will always have a special place in my heart.

"Daniel?" Vala's whisky sweet voice calls my name with a hint of uncertainty.

I turned. "All done?"

"Yes." She still stood at the door.

Reaching a hand out I waited and she came in, took my hand and with a heavy sigh she looked up at me.

"I am very, very, very fond of you, Daniel."

"And I am very, very, very fond of you, Vala." I pulled her close and hugged her.

"This is nice." She whispers.

"Umm, yes. Very nice." I kissed the top of her head. My heart was about to jump out of my body and it wasn't related to my recent illness. "Let's go out to dinner tonight and, well, and talk."

I felt the change in her. "About?"

"Stuff. Er, well, life. And, er, our pasts, and expectations for the future. Taking things slowly..."

She jerked free of my hug, spun around and marched out saying, "take all the time you need!"

"Vala! Wait!" I sprinted out after her. Caught her arm and stopped her, turned her towards me. "Let me explain. I want you. My recent illness has me on stand by..."

"Daniel, is, is it bad?" I heard the panic in her voice.

"NO! No. It's just for a short time I can't actually, actually do certain things. Things that are long time breath stealing strenuous that could result in a collapsed lung. I just have to wait a few days. To be overly strenuous."

"Oh, well, alright. I mean I've... we've waited this long, so what's a few days, although, well, alright. You're sure?"

"Yes, I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I wish right now I could to take you back in my office and make love to you, on my desk. At home in my bed, my couch, my shower, anywhere, anytime."

Her hand reached up and touched my cheek. "I love you, Daniel. Kissing isn't strenuous. Kiss me."

And I did.

"Darling, you do know there are many, many things we can do that shouldn't get to strenuous or create a collapsed lung. Including but not limited to the removal of your towel after we shower."

"Let's go."

"Where?"

"My place."

"What about the towel?" She was teasing, laughing and pulling me along by the hand towards the elevator.

"We won't have time for any towels."

"Grrrr."

~o0o~

I still want to laugh thinking about Carolyn's expression as I flew way past strenuous on that treadmill. I've come a long way since my youth. I'm strong and no one, except those few who know me well, would know I am actually a nerd.

Vala loves the nerd in me. And obviously my strength. It's still Monday, at least for the next three minutes. She's standing at my... our bedroom doorway, wearing only my button down shirt unbuttoned. Holding two glasses of wine.

I just got out of the shower.

She cocks her head to the right and then the left. "Give it up. Now. You have yet to give me a chance to see the whole picture.

I look up, grin, toss the towel aside.

Her expression is priceless, and damned if it doesn't turn me on, again.

"A little pirouette would be..."

Turning slowly I waited for her next silly words. Nothing came. I turned back around. She was no longer at the door, had set aside the wine, removed the shirt and stood close before me.

"I will always love you Daniel Jackson. Always. And at last I don't have to worry about breaking my heart because I no longer have it... it's yours now."

~END