Okay people… GED is under serious revision… So, you shall be forced to live with this until further notice! I own (SPOILER CENSOR), but nothing else. All else belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Read on!
I can't believe it! I grumbled. Lying! The whole time! I didn't even bother with my disguise at this point. GIR chose to wear his dog-suit. We were taking a walk in the human city. It was his idea, of course, and I wasn't in the mood to hear him scream for hours on end. Why would they lie for so long? If they wanted to get rid of me, why bother with the charade? I had nothing left, anywhere. I didn't have a place among irkens anymore. I fit in more on Earth than anywhere else I was legally allowed to be. It seems like I'm stuck on this dirtball. I didn't want to think how long. I'm sure we looked rather strange, me, an irken, sulking, and GIR, a green dog, skipping around at night. What now? What am I supposed to do? I don't need to go to skool anymore. I don't really need to do anything anymore. I don't… can't do anything at all. Taking over the world won't do me any good. Nothing will do me any good. I have no responsibility, nothing keeping me here but the fact that nowhere else is any better. What's the point? My shoulders tightened suddenly as I felt a cold raindrop swish past my face.
"Rain! GIR, why?" I whimpered.
"Da clouds wet dem selves!" GIR cackled evilly. That horrible robot!
"Curse this filthy Earth rain, GIR!" I cried, I didn't feel the urge to bathe in paste any time recently. Curse you, irony!
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"Papa…" I shivered in the rain, pulling a blanket of newspaper tightly around myself. No one could hear my sobs in the alley. Hot tears burned in my eyes as they rolled down my face.
"Curse this filthy Earth rain, GIR!" Who? "Now we must find shelter until morning!" a frantic voice grew closer and closer. I froze, eyes wide open, at the sudden interruption in the steady pitter-patter of rainfall on the top of my sideways-garbage-can shelter. "Victory for Zim!" a shadow walked closer. "A box!" I watched as shadows of a toddler and a grade skool kid curled up in a fell cardboard box. Maybe they need help!
"Are you alright, sir?" I peeped meekly. My throat stung at the first thing I have spoken in a long time.
"Eh? What? Who is there?" They sound so scared!
"I…" Here goes nothing. "I a-a-am…" I sobbed loudly and my throat throbbed. "I-I don't kn-know wh-what m-my name i-i-is." I cried, much louder than intended. The larger of the two shadows stood up cautiously.
"Why are you not at home like the other filthy humans?"
"I-I don't know wh-where h-home is, sir." I felt another tear roll down my face.
"You are lost?" The voice asked. No.
"I d-don't have a h-home to be l-lost from." I gripped my newspaper tighter around me and fidgeted a bit.
"Don't your parental… things… wonder where you are?" There was a long pause.
"I don't think t-they do." I know they don't. They never have.
"Eh?" He wasn't even listening to me!
"What's your name?" I asked, completely out-of-the-blue. The shadow turned to face me.
"I am-!" he shouted, then sighed. "I am Zim."
"What's your last name?" I asked.
"Zim needs only one name." The rain started to die down. Zim didn't seem to notice. I didn't really care.
"What about the little guy's name?"
"Who?" Zim asked, more to himself than to me. "Oh! That's GIR, my normal dog." A dog? How cute! I stood up, wobbling slightly.
"Well, it's been very nice to meet both of you. It's not often I get to talk at all." Only because I'm some kind of monster!
"We can stay here until morning." Zim said.
"But, I thought you were leaving when the rain stopped? Besides, isn't it morning already?" I mused out loud.
"No." I felt my face grow warm.
"O-oh! I-I'm so sorry!"
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Sorry? For wha-? The girl turned to face me. Her eyes were a dull pink, slightly darker in the centers. Sparse, stringy white hair draped sadly over her shoulders. She was very thin and almost pure white. She appeared to be wearing nothing but the soggy old newspaper she was clinging to. She's shorter than me, and her eyes are surely that of an irken! I must find out why she is here!
"Are you human?" I asked. The female smiled weakly.
"Nobody thinks I am." She hung her head. "They think that I'm some kind of… of…"
"Alien?" I offered. Her head snapped up and her eyes became round.
"Y-yes!" She took a step towards me. "That's exactly what they think! An alien!"
"Yes, yes, well… I know… I understand." I said nervously, without really thinking.
"You understand? You really mean it?" She ran up and attacked me. I must restrain her! "Thank you! Thank you so much, sir!" My PAK clipped her into a pair of handcuffs. "Sir?"
"I am no SIR! I am Zim!" As I yelled, I realized that I had handcuffed her while she had her bony arms around my neck. Curses! Trickery! This must be punished! "Release me! Release me or suffer the wrath of Zim!" I wiggled my head out of her grip, shuttering when her cold hands brushed against my antennae.
"I am so sorry, sir, Zim!" the girl collapsed onto the ground, trying to hold her newspaper on, even while in the handcuffs. I must do something! This is uncalled for!
"You must be taken home!" I huffed. I-Wait… What?
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"I-I can't go home, sir!" I stuttered.
"I say you can! Come on, now!" This person… is offering me shelter?
"Sir?"
"Don't call me that!" Sir? "Even a human cannot live in this treatment! You will be held captive at my base, until you give me the information I need to go home!" Captive? Wait…
"You can't go home?" I asked.
"No." Silence. Just like me… nowhere to go…
"Sir?"
"Zim!" Oh! Right!
"Oh! Sorry… Zim?" My cheeks warmed.
"What?"
"Thank you." I was blushing like mad by now. "You aren't like other people. You're different… somehow." I wiggled in an attempt to keep my newspaper close.
"As are you." His voice came.
"I suppose I am, si-Zim." I replied, probably smiling. I know I am…
"That'll do for now." He said. "GIR, go get the Voot."
"I gotcha masta! Whee!" a high-pitched voice squealed as the dog shadow ran off. Wait… on two legs?
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"GIR," Dat's me! "Go get the Voot." My masta said. Then, I was all like 'Okee Dokee!'
"I gotcha masta! Whee!" Running! Run-run-run-running! "Fwaaaaahahahehehehehe!" Fwoooom!
Yay! First chappie! Please Review! I'll try to update soon… Until then, e-mail me at for illustrations and sneak previews from future stuff! Wow! This chapter is like, five whole printed pages! A new personal fanfic record! dances