As a courtesan in a taiyokai's court, there are few things that can trouble you. You entertain the Tai until he finds a mate, then you become one of her ladies in waiting.
However, the worst thing in the ever present, crushing hope that he will choose you as a mate. Few courtesans have ever become a taiyokai's mate, and even then, only the most talented, the most girly, and the most beautiful are chosen.
Thus, I was ruled out early.
Oh, I am talented in many things. Music, art, acting, cooking, conversation. But in other things, things most interesting to men…
Well, I'm relatively inexperienced compared to others my age.
And girly? Puh-leeze, I've seen more girly men. Oh sure, I am girly, but mainly because of my training as a courtesan.
Finally, I may be pretty, but beauty is something that eludes me. I'm too tall. I have a slightly rounded belly, and my face is neither round nor lean. I suppose by a peasant's standards I am quite beautiful with my long legs, shining black hair, unusual blue eyes, and pale-pink skin, but to a man who is surrounded by women-and men- more beautiful than I, what am I but a mule among thoroughbreds?
Since my childhood I had dreamed of becoming a lord's wife. More specifically, Sesshomaru's wife. As children we played together. I was born a year after him, to a servant within the castle who had taken a human lover. He was killed in a human war shortly before I was born. Before my training began, and between my lord's lessons, we were close friends.
One day when his mother came to retrieve him for his lessons, she found me making him a bouquet and garland for his hair. We both had little flowers around our ring fingers. When she asked what we were doing, I enthusiastically responded, "We're getting married! Sesshomaru-sama's going to be my bride!"
The lady laughed and her eyes crinkled at the corners. "Ah, little Saku-chan! The girl is the bride, the boy is the groom!"
Sesshomaru-sama smiled up at her, one of his front teeth missing. "Then Saku-chan will be my bride!"
The Lady laughed again and took our hands, beginning to lead us back to the castle.
"When I'm old enough, I'm going to marry her!"
When we parted that day, we shyly pecked one another on the lips, to Milady's great amusement, and ran off blushing.
Shortly after that my lessons began and we hardly ever saw one another. After his mother's death, our visits stopped all together.
After my training, and until after InuTaisho's death, I was sent as an apprentice to the East. Then, with my time up and Sesshomaru-sama needing a new court of courtesan, I was brought back to the West. The first time I saw him again, I recognized him immediately, though his happy smile was gone, and my heart fluttered. But I've never been sure if he remembers me.
As a courtesan, I hope he finds me attractive enough to mate me. I do my best to please him in every form of entertainment.
As a childhood friend, I wish him only the best in life, even if it excludes me (as the "best" only could).
But as someone that has loved him for many years, I can only hope he remembers his childhood promise and love for a little servant's child. And I try to please him in every aspect of life, not just entertainment.
Saku set down her diary and sat it in her box of hair ornaments, within her pillow. Unlike other courtesans, she did her hair naturally, without waxes or oils. She set off for Sesshomaru's rooms, wearing her favorite indigo kimono with a sakura tree and its blossoms on it as decoration.
Saku carefully arranged herself on the floor outside the unusual Western-style wooden doors of Sesshomaru's rooms and knocked.
"Enter Saku-chan."
Saku stood and opened the door, closing it behind herself. Sesshomaru was at the low table, eating, his kimono shirt neatly folded beside him, along with his armor and weapons.
She took her place behind him and began to rub his shoulders. She glanced at the stump of a left arm she was already used to seeing and frowned as she remembered that night.
Saku was in Sesshomaru's room, carefully rubbing the wrinkles out of his sheets to place a little bit of her scent there.
She heard a sound at the balcony and turned around in time to see Sesshomaru drop to the ground, bleeding.
Saku rushed over, holding his head up. His eyes were only half-opened and his haori was terribly ripped, revealing that his left arm was gone.
Saku carefully stripped what was left of his haori off and called on her power over water to take water from what was around them and wash his wounds, as she sent a telepathic message to the castle's head healer.
A few moments later, Saku was gently wiping Sesshomaru's forehead with a wet cloth, before she returned to applying the salve the healer had given her to Sesshomaru's sluggishly bleeding stump. Sesshomaru had not let the healer within ten feet of him. His eyes were red and wary and he'd snarled at the old man.
Saku leaned down and pressed her lips to the smooth tissue. Sesshomaru did not react and she continued to gently press the tension from his body.
Eventually he was relaxed and Saku backed away, wishing to lay her head on his back. Sesshomaru motioned for her to kneel beside him. She obeyed, quickly examining the food on he table before pulling her eyes away.
"Take what you want Saku-chan."
Saku shook her head, but obeyed, having learned long ago that saying no would get her nowhere. She took a piece of sushi with the extra pair of chopsticks and carefully dipped it in the waiting sauce before popping it in her mouth. She closed her eyes, savoring the flavor of it. Sushi was her favorite food, no matter what kind it was.
"Why do always close your eyes when you are eating and no one is looking?" Sesshomaru asked.
Saku opened her eyes. "To savor and analyze the flavor of what I'm eating, Sesshomaru-sama."
Sesshomaru nodded. "What do you think I should look for in a mate, Saku-chan?"
"A lowly courtesan like myself should not give advice to one such as you, Sesshomaru-sama."
"Yet you always do," he responded dryly.
Saku smiled. "Of course, milord." She was silent a moment and Sesshomaru waited patiently, knowing she would answer. "You should look for someone that takes care of you. She has to be able to handle herself at court. Humble enough for your strong ego," she said playfully, "but strong enough to run the household. Intelligent because you couldn't tolerate her otherwise. She must have the dignity of a noble. She must be beautiful and dainty, but also healthy with wide hips to bear Little Sesshomaru-samas to torment the rest of us. She should not have to nurse the pups herself, though she should want to, so as not to be separated from them."
"And of demon descent?"
Saku shrugged. "For court appearance, a demon would be best, but a human of strong will may gain respect at court. The stronger the better though," she warned, "court is harder on those with human blood."
"What about you? Are you fit to be a Lady?"
Saku laughed. "Of course not. I am not near beautiful enough, nor could I stand to stay silent at court as a hanyo should. There are plenty of issues that I have strong opinions about. In addition, I am not fit to be the mate of you. I am not worthy of you. I am nothing and you are everything. Should I bear your pups, they could not be near as magnificent as you in neither looks, power, nor intention. I would be a disgrace to you." Saku's look softened. "Besides, how could I protect Rin-chan from those horrible ones at court? As a hanyo, I would have no one respect me and as a result they would try to pick on Rin-chan."
Sesshomaru continued eating and Saku noticed the wound on his stomach. She rolled her eyes. "Must you pick fights with your younger half-brother?"
"Yes."
"Yea, yea, his training, but really. Couldn't you just tell him you're trying to help?"
"He would not fight as hard."
"Would that be so bad?" she asked, gently touching the stump of his left arm.
"He must be strong to defeat Naraku."
"He will have you fighting alongside him."
"It may not be enough."
Saku was silent another moment. "What of Kagura? From what you have told me, she seems to be fond of you."
Sesshomaru's lip curled in disgust. "Before my life is over any that bear the mark and scent of Naraku will be dead."
"Why all this talk of mating anyway? Have you begun to search?" Saku asked, her fingers in Sesshomaru's hair.
"I may have found a female I want."
Saku paused, her hands still for a moment before she continued running her finger through his hair. "Oh."
Sesshomaru looked at her form the corner of his eye. "You aren't going to ask who she is?"
Saku shrugged. "I'll find out when you ask her to be your mate." In her mind, she was wondering if she could stay after Sesshomaru had taken another.
"Then I'll ask her soon."
Saku remained silent until Sesshomaru stood. She stood after him, asking, "Are you going to bathe now Sesshomaru-sama?"
He nodded and began walking to the door leading to the hot springs the castle was built around. His portions of them were private.
Saku followed him. She remained until long after he had fallen asleep.
A few weeks later, Saku walked into the room where the courtesans were supposed to be practicing music to see them all crowded around Sesshomaru's messenger, Kenji.
"-And they're all supposed to be here by tonight!"
The women gasped. "Whatever for?!"
"Well…" he said, leaving a dramatic pause, "He said for a ceremony and there have been rumors of him taking a mate flying around the castle!"
Saku's heart fell and she left the room.
"By the next morning she was fully packed. Saku looked at her bags and sighed before leaving the room and heading to Sesshomaru's study, passing unfamiliar lords and ladies on the way.
Saku knocked and waited for Sesshomaru's "enter." She opened the door and walked in, bowing to Sesshomaru as she entered.
"Sesshomaru-sama, I'm leaving this afternoon. I wanted to let you know."
Sesshomaru glanced up at her, his eyes pausing at the tired look on her face. "For how long?"
"Permanently, Sesshomaru-sama."
Sesshomaru briefly let a stunned look cross his face. "Why?"
Saku managed to smile at him. "I just can't stay any longer."
"Stay, at least until tomorrow. I'm proposing tonight."
Saku shook her head. "I can't"
"Please. For me, as a favor if you will."
Saku shut her eyes and nodded, feeling wearier than before. "I'll wait."
"Thank you. Get some rest. I'll send someone to wake you when the time comes."
Saku nodded and left, obeying his command to rest by going back to her room to sleep.
A few hours later a servant awoke her. Saku bathed, did her makeup, then returned to her room, hoping that she had folded her kimono properly and they would not be wrinkled.
However, on a stand in the center of her room was a magnificent kimono. It was sapphire blue, with a scene depicting the night sky. The obi was black with swirls of gold in it, in the same way the kimono had swirls of silver in the clouds.
Beside the stand was the castle's head dresser. He explained that Sesshomaru had sent him to help her. He left the room while Saku put on her koshimaki, short-sleeved kimono undershirt, and the under robe laying on the futon. The under robe was a soft shade of blue and had deeper swirls of blue running through it. It, of course, had a white collar.
Then Saku called the dresser back in, They put her in the kimono and put her obi on. Saku examined herself in the mirror, wondering at what she saw. She looked like a lady.
"Shall we go now?" she asked the dresser.
"Yes."
Saku slipped on her okabo and began the walk to the banquet hall, a folding fan slipped in her obi. She slipped into the banquet hall quietly, looking around.
The lords and ladies of the other lands and their families were there. Sesshomaru's other courtesans were also there.
To Saku's relief, everyone was as extravagantly dressed.
It was then that Sesshomaru stood from his seat on the dais. Silence ensued.
"I have called you here to witness my proposal and see the woman that could become the Lady of the Western Lands."
A murmur began to move through the crowd.
"Well, who is it?" the Lord of the Southern Islands called out.
Sesshomaru waved for silence. "All of my consorts come to the stage."
Saku followed her peers to Sesshomaru.
"All of you meet the woman I'm proposing to…" Sesshomaru said.
"Saku's eyes clenched shut as she saw his eyes land first on a foreign courtesan, Cleo, then on someone in the crowd.
"Saku-chan, will you become my mate?"
Saku's eyes shot open, crashing with Sesshomaru's laughing, but sincere, golden eyes. "What?" she whispered?
"Will. You. Become. My mate?"
Saku's knees gave out, but Sesshomaru caught her. One of her hands gripped his shoulder tightly. Her mouth was opened partially and her eyes stared up into Sesshomaru's in disbelief.
"Well?" he muttered to her.
Saku leaned up and kissed him. "Yes."
A cheer broke out and Sesshomaru kissed Saku back. "Does this mean you aren't leaving tomorrow?"
Saku smiled. "No wonder you wanted me to stay."
!!
This was just a cut one shot I'd had in my folder for a while. It came to me after reading Memoirs of a Geisha. I'm toying with the idea of trying to write it from Sesshomaru's point of view, but give me feedback on that, please.