Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, any of the Movies, and any content that I might have missed.

General Warning(s):

AU - Sayian Culture is mostly what I think it should be. If you have problems with it, either ignore it or leave. This goes for any changes to Cannon. If you want to correct me, PM me and I'll tell you if it is what I intended, or a genuine mistake.

OC - This is an OC story. If you have a problem with that, then leave, but I would like it if you gave this story a chance. However, do not contact me through Reviews, PMs or other methods to complain, I have given you a warning.

There will be a lot of timeskips in the beginning. I mostly just want to get to the good parts of the story where the characters are more grown up. At later times, I might put omakes or interludes of childhood interaction. I will always indicate if an omake is cannon or not.

POV - There will be a time, much later, where I will switch from First-Person POV to Third-Person POV.

Summary:

When you die, you expect to go to heaven, or hell, or whatever your religion/belief has for the afterlife. What you don't expect is to be reborn as an monkey-human hybrid alien. Well, at least, I'm not dead. Too bad that I'm not likely to live very long.

A/N: This is my first story on this site. When critiquing me, please keep this in mind. You may suggest where you think this story should head, but keep in mind that I have the final decision on it.

Chapter 1: Rebirth

Do you know how fucking terrifying birth actually is? I mean, at first you're all warm and comfy, then suddenly pressure. Pressure everywhere. You're pushed towards a light, and once you reach it- BAM! You're hit with the freezing cold and all I you want to do is be back in your mother's- What? Did you think I was talking about giving birth? Hell no!

First of all, after seeing the "miracle of life" video, I swore to never give birth, even if it killed me. Secondly, in this life I was born a guy so it's a moot point now anyways.

Yeah. You heard me right. A guy. As in male. With the proper bits and everything. And that's not even getting into the very reason for this sudden chromosome swap. I mean no one would expect to be reborn as the opposite gender, much less reborn at all. Nevertheless, I will take advantage of the situation while I can since I have no idea if I'm going to finally succumb to death the next time I die.

Anyways, where was I… Oh yeah. Birth. Let me tell you the experience is not pleasant for either participant. It was only made worse by the fact that I wasn't the only one inside. That giant lump that was next to me in there? Turns out that it was my twin brother. I thought he was a pillow. In fact, I thought that I was in my personal heaven where all I had to do was sleep and get comfortable. After all, I took pride in being the laziest person around. Well, that had to change now. Amazing how cartain death can motivate you.

It got worse as time went on. The two of us were placed side by side – something about how Saiyan twins needed to stick together the first few days or they would pitch the biggest tantrums ever, but I just stopped listening and froze when I heard the – very familiar, very dangerous - word Saiyan. I whipped around my head to look as far behind me as I could, and when I saw a tail that definitely didn't belong there, I burst into tears.

What? Don't give me that look. I know what you're thinking. Great! You can become a Super Saiyan at a young age, beat Frieda and save Planet Vegeta! Are you fucking crazy?! Do you think I have a death wish?! There's no way that I can get that powerful that fast, and even if I were to do that, what would happen to the fate of the Earth here? Goku might not become a hero and might even die earlier if I were to do such a thing. There's so much that can go wrong. Changing anything might make things worse. Besides, things turn out alright in the end anyways, so I guess it's goodbye to Planet Vegeta.

If I have been born early enough to grow up a bit and I can run away when Frieza comes, I'm not going to stick around. Maybe I would kidnap my brother. He is younger than I am (physically and mentally) and I can already feel myself getting attached. He is the cutest thing around me. When anyone comes near the two of us he growls and gets all possessive and I just let him because it is the most adorable thing ever to see. Of course once they're gone, he just reverts to his lazy baby state. I swear my legendary poker face (at least that's what my friends called it. I just called it my face) will break if I don't start building a resistance to him. Yeah. Definitely kidnapping him.

This means that I have to be strong. Strong enough to protect him and strong enough that once we were on our own, I could make sure we stay alive. I guess this means that I can't laze around anymore, but if I want to pick to see my 20th birthday, some sacrifices will have to be made. Especially in such a violent universe. (Why couldn't I have been reborn in a sports manga or something. Something safe and not life threatening.)

Hmm? Why not save my parents or anyone else for that matter. Simple. I don't care about them. Now you may not have noticed, but as I was speaking to you several months passed right there. It's almost a year now and while we have been taken care of, not a single person was actually raising us. No wonder Saiyans are such emotionally stunted beings if they were raised like this. At least I could help make sure Tharn would have some concept of what to do when confronted with an emotional situation.

I know, I know. What's with the name? Well Saiyans have a lot more to them then just as fighting warriors. They have an entire culture (which I will learn everything about. Information is power after all.) behind them. Their names have meanings behind them and believe it or not, the more it sounds like a vegetable, the more traditional the name is. Most Saiyan names sound like plants though and to find someone without a name like that is just not likely. The more ordinary the plant that the name sounds like, the simpler the meaning. It's like how Mapul means "might" and sounds like maple. For that matter, Vegeta and Kakarot are very traditional. Kakarot means "warrior destined to do great things" with emphasis on the warrior and the implication of strength. Typically these names are reserved for the elite so I think Bardock picked the name as a slight FU to all the ones that looked down on the third class. Vegeta, on the other hand means "the best of all/king" so it makes a lot more sense for him to have that name.

Now, names like Tharn's and mine (Kharn) are the more unique ones. They are a pair and are one of the more traditional type for twins, but since twins are a once in a blue moon occurrence, they are pretty damn original. The meanings behind the names were lost a long time ago. They are just accepted as twin names now.

(I later discover that our names mean Blessing and Curse. Yeah. No idea what they were thinking.)

Back to my point (if I had one). Saiyans are generally raised en masse for the first couple of weeks. This is typically to make sure that they are healthy, monitor our power levels, etc. so we were stuck there with whining, sniveling brats. I have never been so glad to be asleep most of the time. I think I would have ripped the tails of all the brats if I hadn't. I could only deal with it with Tharn distracting me.

Not long later we were picked up by a woman who obviously was less than happy with being saddled with two kids. I mean, she literally said to our faces "I didn't even want one damn kid. Now I have to deal with two?!" Yeah… Never going to warn her about shit. (This new not-giving-a-fuck Saiyan attitude is really working with me.)

Other than feeding us, clothing us, and giving us a place to stay, she did nothing for us. I mean sure, she bathed us a few times but once we turned half-a-cycle old (Quick age lesson: 1 cycle is about 4 years. They only measure ages in cycles though. Time is otherwise kept the same as it is on Earth.) she didn't do it anymore. I had to take over and make sure That was taken care of. I swear I was already a (Mother? Father?) Parent at that age. I had to make sure That didn't kill himself with sharp things that she left EVERYWHERE. I once found a piece of shrapnel in the couch. I threw it out before Tharn wanted to play with it (it was shiny) and made sure to check it before letting Tharn on it from then on. At least we were on our own most of the time or someone might have gotten suspicious about how I care for him.

Of course, every once in awhile I wished that someone would have noticed. Because not long after she stopped bathing us that things got a whole lot worse for both of us.

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