Warnings: Slash, Angst, Spoiler for "Return of the King"
Notes: Written about a year ago, during a period where I wrote one-page-stories (one page in Microsoft Word), means it's very short. Now that I've finally decided to publish stories, I might as well publish this one although I've stopped writing LotR-FanFiction
Scared
Pippin shuddered. It was cold, so cold. The wind blew right threw him, into his heart, chilled him to the bone. He was sitting on the walls of Minas Tirith, the watchtower of Gondor, waiting for a sunrise that wouldn't come. The dark armies were defeated for now, but the shadow coming out of the east didn't go away. The air smelled foul and it was cold. But it wasn't only the wind that made Pippin shudder. He felt weak. He felt he couldn't go on like that. There had been so many horrible things happening. Denethor, killing himself, nearly killing poor Faramir too. Theoden dying in the battle, the beautiful Lady Eowyn hurt. And his dear Merry....The thought nearly made him cry. Elbereth, if Merry would have died.....He turned at hearing footsteps behind him. It was Merry, weak but alive, risen from the shadow but darkness still lingering in his eyes. "Pip" Merry said, sitting down next to him. Another cold breeze was blowing through their curly hair and Pippin shuddered again. "Pippin" Merry said "What is it?" Pippin looked at his friend and his eyes mirrowed all the misery he felt. Merry always knew.
"I'm scared, Merry" he whispered "So scared." "Dear Pip...." Merry murmured.
"I shouldn't be...It's not right to be scared. It's not allowed to be afraid of the future on this quest. Everyone else is so brave. Aragorn went through all that, leading us, and he was never afraid. Legolas and Gimli, they were always strong, they fought so bravely. Gandalf stood against the Balrog to rescue us, he defeated Saruman without fear. Boromir...he...when he ran to save us...he wasn't afraid. And Frodo, our poor cousin...he took the ring with so much courage and decided to go alone. And good Sam, who went with him although he knew he would go to death..." He could feel tears stinging in his eyes.
"None of them was scared. Not even you were. You stabbed the witchking. Everyone was brave, except for me. I'm so afraid. I feel broken inside, and weak. Oh Merry...."
Merry embraced the other hobbit and held him tightly. "No Pip, that's not true. I was scared. The others were too. It's just, fear is one of the weapons the dark lord uses against all the free people. Fear, hate, desire for power, despair, distrust. If we want to defeat Sauron, we have to defeat those feelings in ourselves. And that's what the others did. That's what I did." He stroked Pippin's curls. "You can do it too. You did it many times before. It's just bigger this time. Pip, perhaps you don't know it, but you are strong. You have a strong spirit. Find your strength in that. And find your strength in trust. Trust the fellowship. Trust me."
Pippin sobbed and threw his arms around Merry. "My dear cousin. I do trust you. I will be strong for you, I promise."
Two days later Merry was standing at the same place, his face covered in tears, turned eastwards. "Pippin" he whispered. His cousin was there in the fight. He was there where the clouds hid everything from his eyes. Where the darkness drew together for the final strike. "Pippin, please come back and live. If we have to die, let us die together. Don't leave me. I love you more than anything, I need you to live. If you don't come back I....I'll.... Oh, Pip. I'm scared."