(a/n: this is also by XIFA! XIFA and I wrote this together. So go review her stories! Please? Oh, yeah, I don't own FF8 or Square enix! Yeah! Plz Read/Review)

Chapter 1

               I was wandering along alone... it seemed to be an endless sea of nothing. It was eerie. Prickled shot up and down my spine. Alone. That wasn't unusual. Of course not. I was Squall Leonhart, without friends, the antisocial and outcast. I was Squall, the 19 year old mercenary with a wall of ice three feet thick on every side. But that was okay. That's how I liked it. I reached out to find something. Anything. I needed something to cling to in the creepy void of oblivion.

               A strange lady entered the void.  She looked somewhat similar to one of my classmates, Selphie Tilmitt.  She was dressed in all black, had hair every color of the rainbow, and probably wasn't too much taller than 4'11''.  She floated just out of reach, her piercing stare kind of eerie.

"Who are you?" I demanded, and then added, "And where are we?"

"Where are we?  Well, that's an interesting question.  There's nothing here, nothing at all.  Inky, depressing, freezin' cold darkness.  And we're the only two here, so we're obviously in someone's repressed memory section of their mind.  So let's just decide who's colder or darker...me or you?"

"I have no intentions of answering that. Just how do I get back?"

"Oh, you'll get back you selfish little kid.  We've got your entire life ahead of us to figure out my questions, so I'd suggest you get answering!  I'm older and I'm in charge here..."

"Bring it, if you think you're so tough." I drew my gunblade.

"It's impolite to fight a lady," the girl said with a smile.  "You're a funny one, that's for sure.  Are you like this to every nice girl you meet?"

"It doesn't matter to me; male, female, you're all the same." I turned away from her.

"But is -everybody- all the same?" she walked over to me, placing a freezing cold hand on my shoulder.  "Look, I'm here because I'm kind of worried about you and everyone that's gotta put up with you..."

"It's not my fault they have to put up with me. If I had my way, I'd be alone. I might even be dead, as long as I don't have to live how I'm living now."

"Well, don't worry, kid, because the way you're living now?  That's all about to change," the lady smiled promisingly.

"I don't want it to change. I don't want to get hurt! That's why I'm like I am! Because all that happens when you're not alone is hurt, anger, pain, regret, emotions that will scar you and the scars you will take you your grave. Some things just can't be changed. This is one of them."

"If your mother could see you now..." she shook her head.  "Maybe it's best that she doesn't.  Look, what's hurting you more now...the 'protection' that's hurting you or the pain that might not even come as bad as you're worrying about it?  I just wanted to check in on you again...make sure you were okay...I also think you'd best loosen up before you ever go to visit her.  I wouldn't want her thinking that you've been miserable like this all your life."

"What mother? She's either dead or she dumped me her at Garden. Why would I want to see her?"

"Shut up you idiot!  Just shut up!  You don't know anything about anything!"  She looked seconds away from slapping me.  "You know nothing about your mother!  She wasn't the one who dumped you anywhere!  And if she was DEAD, she'd be here with me, now wouldn't she?  I think you'd best close it right now before I slap the living--...whoa, I didn't almost say that...anyways, you'd best shut up before I give you what you really deserve!"

I glared at her. "Just leave me alone. Please, just go away..." I scowled and turned away, hoping she wouldn't see how much the comment had stung and raised an odd sort of fury in me.

"Come over here and talk to me.  Look at me when I'm talking to you!  ...gosh, I've always wanted to do this," she laughed a little.  "I never got to yell at my kids," she said, a bit sorrowfully.  "Anyways, get over here; I'm not done with you."

"What do you want?" I turned around, feeling an icy fire well up inside.

"Your mother...your mother still loves you very much, Squall," she said seriously.  "I'm pretty sure your father does too, even though I never met him.  They weren't able to find you after everything happened, and that's mostly my fault...but I can't connect with them to tell them where you're at.  And I'm not even sure where they're at anymore; otherwise I'd send you to them.  But I'm sure you'll meet up again, someday.  I just want you to know that she loves you.  Please don't act like this towards her if you ever meet her," she said.  "On a totally different subject, I can't say much about this one, but I just want to tell you to give new things a chance, mkay?"

"Whatever."

               A strange feeling of cold darkness surrounded me, kind of like demi 3 or something to that extent.  The lady looked really miffed now, and was holding out her hands, so I guessed she was the one attacking me.

"If only this hurt your self-centered arse in the real world!  I hope someone kicks you so hard that you hit the moon!"

"Just shut up!" I yelled. "Just -shut up-, okay?! I hate life, I hate it, and your rants can't change that despite what you think because you can't -change- people! From the way you've been speaking you're dead, and some people are down to earth enough to know not to believe in ghosts! So just leave me alone!" I yelled.

               Then a memory seemed to be drowning me. I was sitting on a wooden floor with tables bigger than I was all around, drawing pictures. A man in a blue shirt, a girl with dark hair, and what appeared to be me. When I was about three and a half feet tall. I smiled proudly at it, as if it was a work of art. The thought 'Daddy'll be proud of it' echoed in my head.

               I looked up. 'Aunt Sakura,' I thought happily. I ran up to her. I was obviously very, very young. I wore shorts and a t-shirt way to big for me. I was even in my sock feet. How young was I? Where had this memory taken place? And who the hell was Aunt Sakura?

"Mr. Sir, Raine!" the lady called Aunt Sakura laughed, waving to the older people.  "Hiya!  Hope you didn't mind that I randomly stopped in...Er...randomly..." she dropped to her knees so that she was eye level with me.  "And Mr. Sir Jr!  Hiya, Squall!  If I would have known you were here, I would have brought the girls over...not that you wanna hang out with my icky little girls, right?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Ick. Well, for most girls. I don't really mind your little girls. They're nice enough, and they aren't like the little girls who are all... well... -girly-. All they care about are how their hair looks, and what clothes they wear, and geeze, I just leave my hair as it is and wear the first thing in my closet!"

"I know, little girls like that make me mad too," Sakura grinned.  "That's why I taught my little girls to play video games, hehe..." she stood up.  "So, anyways, Raine..." she trailed off, talking to them instead.

I ran over to them. 'Can't wait till daddy sees this.' I thought brightly as I handed my picture to him.

               He looked at it with interest, and then grinned at me.

"Can I keep it?" he asked excitedly.

"Yep. I made it just for you!" I beamed, hoping with all my heart he liked it. I tried my best for him.

"I LOVE it!" he exclaimed.  "You know, I think I've got an extra frame around here somewhere...maybe I'll put it up instead of that picture of Kiros and Ward, they're kinda ugly anyways..."

I laughed. "Thank you." I grinned and gave him a hug. It seemed that I loved him so much...

"Nah, thank you for giving this to me!  Hey Raine--"

"Mr. Sir, Raine and I are talking, PLEASE don't interrupt," Aunt Sakura laughed.

"Raine," he went on anyways, ignoring her.  "Check this out!"

"It's great!" grinned Mommy, and then laughed. "Wow, you must have gotten all Uncle Chaos's talent." she smiled sadly.

               I remembered once hearing them talk about Uncle Chaos. I never got to meet him, but in Mommy's room all kinds of water paintings with V.L. signed in the corner hung up. Uncle Chaos was, as Mommy called it, 'visiting heaven'. I asked her when he'd be back, and she told me it was bedtime.

"Good job." Mommy smiled brightly.

"He will be just like Vinny someday..." Aunt Sakura said sadly.  "In any case, that is a nice picture, Squall.  Maybe you can write for Mr. Sir's magazine someday?"

"I wanna be just like him someday!" I grinned enthusiastically.

"Set your standards a little higher," Aunt Sakura laughed.

"Lucrecia..." Daddy said warningly.

"Don't you dare use my real name, Mr. Sir..." Aunt Sakura said in the same tone.

"But my standards -are- high. I wanna be a journalist!" I wasn't quite sure about everything that job included, but it sounded good and if that's what it took to be like Daddy, then that was what I'd do.

"Journalism is a high standard, dear, just not being the next Mr. Sir," Aunt Sakura laughed.

"Whatever." I grinned and walked upstairs and sat down on my bed, daydreaming about what life had in store for me.

               It had nothing I would be pleased to find. If only I had known. I looked at the woman; she looked like the woman, Aunt Sakura. She had to be.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Sakura!" I exclaimed, panicked. "I didn't mean it! Please tell me about my parents! You know, Raine and Mr. Sir or whatever! Please!"

I had never felt this way before. I tried to describe the emotion: desperate? Maybe a little lonely, regretful even?

"I don't think, at this point, that you deserve to hear about them," she said icily.  "And when I think you do, and then I'll come back.  Or I'll send someone else to tell you about your past that has the power to do that kind of thing.  But until then, you can just figure it out for yourself, Squall.  Prove to me you're worthy of knowing it...I'll either be back or send someone.  Keep your eyes open."

               She turned and walked into the darkness. I ran after her frantically, feeling more alone than ever. Alone. Alone, like I always was. Suddenly I didn't want to be alone. Not any more. I had a past. I had parents. I had a life before this, and I wanted it back.

"Don't leave me alone!" I yelled. Suddenly I was falling into darkness, drowning in it, the darkness smoothing me........

               I awoke as I made contact with the floor. Ouch. I couldn't sleep after that. Besides, it was a free day and I could do whatever I pleased. And I preferred training to being lazy. I played the memory in my mind over again. It had to be rubbish. That couldn't have happened. Right? I pulled on a sweatshirt and jeans, the first clean outfit I could get my hands on. I brushed my hair out of my face with my fingers. On the way down the hall I cursed in frustration. I obviously hadn't changed since I was young. If that part was real, then the whole memory...

               My plans had been to go straight to the training center, beat the snot out of the monsters to relieve some stress, and stay there all day. But I decided to take a little detour through the computer lab. I heard the thud of my combat boots against the floor as I made my way down the hall and went into the lab. I chose a seat and opened up a search system. This was a military school, so it had a program made to run searches on marriage, birth, and death records.

               I had never wanted to or thought of looking for my parents. But now.... now I even knew one's name. Raine. I typed in 'Leonhart' first. Thousands of pieces of data had collected over the years. I groaned. Thousands of names to examine, so my bytes of data to trawl through it would take forever. I backspaced and typed in 'Raine Leonhart'. This time it was very slow in finding a match. That must mean there were a lot less.

"Leonhart!"

               I nearly jumped out of my skin, freaked out. We weren't supposed to use these for personal reasons. I quickly ex-ed out of the program and opened SeeD schedules. I turned around, smiling somewhat sarcastically. It was all I could muster.

"Yessir?" I asked Mr. Biggs, the computer lab instructor. 

"What are you doing in here?" he scowled.

"Just checking when our SeeD tests were." I nodded towards the screen.

"Okay then... Get out." the grumpy instructor ordered.

"Fine."

               I walked off, on my way out muttering something under my breath including his name and several words I won't repeat. I was on my way to the training center. I had nothing better to do, I thought, the dream still on my mind.