Hey Pryo here, I decided since this is probably my favorite pairing and I love yaoi i'd try this, I guess this could have been better but I was writing at 3am so I'm tired sorry for any mistakes in it hope no one cares. Well anyway I'm going to bed after I'm done enjoy it...by the way there is a lemon(not the best one) but still a lemon. Now I don't know how to stop yaoi haters from reading this other than this

Yaoi fic here...if you hate that please use the exit to the upper left of your screen(the back button) or to the upper right(the x that closes the page) well anyway if you use the back button and your a yaoi fan but chose to go back don't mingle with the yaoi haters they do things to you.

enjoy...

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All I ever wanted was to be loved...I never believed that we had emotions...until I met 'him'

Number XIII: Roxas. He made me feel alive he made me feel like I had a heart. He always left me wishing I could feel...So I could love him, like he deserved. I remember bits of my old life, little bits, I remember love and the one I loved Roxas isn't so different from him.

They both have blonde hair that defies the laws of gravity. They both don't really smile, and they were both blue eyed. But, just like me Roxas is a nobody who believes we can't feel emotions. Our emotions were gone along with our hearts when we faded to darkness. I want my heart back for one reason and one reason only so I can truly feel Roxas.

I know the feel of his body by heart. The sound of his breathing, the moans, groans, and other little noises he makes when we're together. The sweet taste of his lips...his own flavor uniquely his. I know he doesn't believe we'll get our hearts back. When I told him I wanted to have a heart because he already makes me feel like it, he didn't believe me...he didn't want to. That night when we were " " as a somebody would call it, he turned into my little sadist.

He brought a knife with him. He started by unzipping my coat slowly dragging a knife along with it every place the zipper hovered over was cut as it went down. There was blood dripping onto is bed sheets and my coat was thrown across the room. Next his coat followed mine. The boy really was beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes, and his hips they would make any woman jealous. Yes, I love his hips perfectly girly in my opinion. He took his time, straddling my legs after pushing me back...

He positioned so that his mouth was at the bottom of the cut he made he stuck his toungue out and licked away some of the blood it stung so bad he saw me wincing and then I saw him smirk. He stuck his tongue inside the cut and licked his way up stopping at intervals to swallow the blood. Finally he hit the top and pulled me into a kiss. I could taste my blood in his mouth, for some reason, I wanted more from him, I wanted him to take me and take me now.

He had the knife out again, he put it against my side and carved in a zigzag pattern, he was obviously confident these marks wouldn't show, because what we were doing was pretty much forbidden. He could make me do things I obviously wouldn't do for anyone else. I'm not usually the uke but tonight I wanted Roxas to take me. He made one slit on my stomach right beside the long trail of blood already there he added two lines branching off of it, and then another after that, he kept this up for a while going in different patterns. Finally as he traced over it with his tongue I knew what it had spelled and I moaned, my little sadist had carved his name.

My skin was burning, controlling fire like I do I'm used to the burning but this was something else entirely my body was burning with a need for Roxas. What could I do, my little sadist had already stopped me from touching him, I know that if I touch him while he's like this he'll leave...I don't want him to leave because no matter how much it hurts to have that knife slice into my flesh over and over again it hurts so much worse to see him leave. I know that because of this I feel, how can I feel pain but have no emotions? Is it possible that this is an emotion?

For Roxas I've felt pain so far, and I'm drowning in my own lust and yet I can't do a thing about it, but isn't lust an emotion, I've felt more than one feeling for him, lust, pleasure, and I think it was love?

My thinking stopped as I felt my pants and boxers come off and I watched as they joined the pile on the other side of the room. His clothes following soon after. He could see my arousal aching and begging for release. He blew on it his lips inches away that little was teasing me. He was so close but so far away. The need in my eyes was apparent by now I'm sure. He blew on me again making my back arch and a tiny sound escape my lips he looked up at me again before quickly taking me in his mouth and sucking.

God, the things he can make me feel...yeah, feel there's that word again not exactly my favorite, Roxas would be mad I'm using it to describe him. He moved away startling me from my thoughts at the sudden cold. The frigid air around us hit me like a sledgehammer to the gut. He pulled my hair and dragged me to his lips for another kiss this one so much more heated than the others he was turned on and I was glad to know.

I could tell he was getting excited I could feel his erection against my leg I flipped him over and leaned down giving it a tentative lick I didn't want him to leave. I knew he liked it by the tiny moans he allowed me to hear. Finally I took him in all at once and got a particularly beautiful sound out of him. He didn't usually let me hear how pleasured he was because he'd try to hold it in. But, due to the neglect he had tonight he had lost all resolve. He pulled me up to him and leaned in towards my ear. He bit and then whispered, "You whore," and then he flipped so he was on top again.

He leant towards my neck and kissed lightly he brought himself to my lips and we shared yet another lust filled kiss. He moved and kissed my jaw bone, then the juncture between the bone and my neck he bit a little as he went down my neck leaving red-marks that were slowly turning into a dark purple. I could feel the tip of his arousal against my entrance...shit...he was gonna take me dry.

He teased and slowly pushed a little past the ring of muscle then he pulled out. I could still feel him against me. After that I braced myself right before he slammed in all the way. My little sadist. He was nice enough to wait a minute for me to get used to him before he moved again, but when I let him no I was ready there was no mercy. He slammed in and out ramming my prostate each time. He loved the sounds I made I could just tell because I knew how to read my Roxas after a little he started pumping me in time with this thrusts. The sounds we made togther making our own symphony of moans.

Suddenly I stiffened and came all over both our stomachs he kept going for a few more thrust with my muscles so tight around him before him came sofly whispering my name, "Axel." My name as it fell from his lips, was so beautiful to me, but probably not to my little sadist. He pulled out and whispered to me, "Axel, I don't think we can feel." I just smiled sadly before challenging what he said, "Oh, yeah we can feel pain can't we, why can't we feel emotions?" I asked and he just smirked, and replied..."Yeah we can feel pain can't we, okay...you keep saying you want to feel let's make you feel..." just before he grabs a knife and makes a few cuts on the inside of my thighs, then the process started all over again...and yet even though he makes me feel pain, he still makes me feel. Because tonight he's my little Sadist.

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Well hope you enjoyed I think next chapter roxas will be a masochist no guarantees. Well read review flame what ever just press the little purple review button or Axel will discover a love for the fairer sex.