Summary: Once upon a time, the devil was called Samael. There is power in a name - as Castiel discovers.
Disclaimer; I do not own Supernatural, nor any of the characters, ideas, concepts, or other materials within.
In the beginning, God created heavens and the earth.
Every illiterate sinner in the western world can recognize that line. It's a line from the bible. And there's something about it that's meant to be humbling, poignant, but when Castiel first picked up the human-written book, sometime after entering Jimmy Novak, he was just confused.
Yes, his Father did create Heaven and Earth. But it was not quite so simple as the book implied.
The 'days' written of in Genesis were more like eons. And, having lived through the creation of Earth himself, Castiel knew there was nothing simple in that time.
Castiel isn't quite sure when it started.
How any of it started, really. Dean grew on him first, and then both the Winchesters. They were pervasive, causing every long-held doubt and independent thought to rear forth and demand attention. And then there was fondness, and something that was possibly a little like love, and he was stuck.
And at some point during all of this he stopped being Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Instead he was Cas, just Cas, friend to the Winchesters and opposer of the Apocalypse. And he didn't even realize it, at first, until it was pointed out to him.
"You think your path is righteous, Castiel?"
Raphael circles Castiel, the latter silent and still in a ring of holy fire. They're in a dark place, a ramshackle hut on the edge of a quiet town. Outside, the sounds of gunfire, pained grunts, and the shudder and slamming of bodies come through the walls as proof of the Winchesters' attempts to enter. Raphael doesn't care; he's enjoying himself. "You presume to know God's desire?"
"Yes," says Castiel, bluntly. "Raphael, this is not God's plan; you know that. The time for the Apocalypse has not yet come to pass - "
"And yet, here we are." Raphael spreads his hands; his dark eyes glitter with something savage, vindictive. "Who you are you to lecture an archangel on God's will, Castiel? Or - Cas, shall I call you?"
The last part is mocking, piercing, and something in Raphael's tone makes Castiel take note. "Why would you?"
"That's your name, isn't it? Your new name. Cas. It really says everything."
"It's just a nickname," says Castiel, and for some reason his wings are twitching, his Grace writhing, and there's something here, something he doesn't yet understand -
"You've let them rename you." Raphael sneers. "You don't even understand that, do you? Understand what an angel's name means?" Castiel is silent. "Here is a hint, Castiel, and something every true angel should know; the devil was once called Samael."
And something in Castiel goes cold, cold with a hundred thousand implications he doesn't want to think about, but suddenly he doesn't have to.
The doors are bursting open, Dean and Sam thundering in, and the slap of a sigil (painted on a piece of paper, transportable, how clever) has an infuriated Raphael disappearing. Castiel shudders, but the holy fire holds him in place.
"Cas!"
And there it is, that name, that name, and suddenly he knows. The realization is icy and horrible and nothing he wants to think about, but he knows.
"Cas? You okay?"
Sam tosses dirt on the fire. Dean starts forward, concerned by Castiel's lack of response, but the angel is already winging away.
When God created the heavens, he also created the angels.
They were majestic creatures of Power and Grace and Strength, but they were, one and all, servants. Their purpose was to serve their Father's will, and serve they did, with fanatic, intrinsic devotion.
Because they served god, and were all his chosen children, they were given a form of unity, something to signify they brotherhood in a way more significant than mere origin: they were all named. And names have power.
So every angel, every single one, has an original name that ends in el. 'El', meaning, 'of god'.
Castiel tries to think of a non-Fallen angel with a changed name, and can think of none.
Zachariah, of course; but his true name is Zerachiel, and he is called by that name just as often; besides, God himself bequeathed the unorthodox name to the angel when 'Zachariah' aided a special human of the same name. Balthazar, likewise, was granted his 'extra' name by God. But Castiel was given his name by humans.
By the Righteous Man, Castiel thinks desperately.
And by the Vessel of the Dragon, another part whispers.
Humans, either way.
And that is sinful, sinful, sinful, because Raphael was right. Castiel is no longer an angel, not really. He is no longer a creature of God. He is not even Castiel.
He is just... Cas.
And in that acceptance, something breaks.
"Where the hell did Cas run off to?" Dean grumbles.
"That's just how he is," Sam says, not without his own annoyance. "He'll be back eventually."
Dean grunts, cleaning his sawed-off, and reaches out to grab the remote and flip on the news.
"Unexpected shooting star falls over Sioux City, South Dakota, startling astronomers due to its size... Astronomers report no indication of the mass prior to its entry into the atmosphere, but it seems to have had little impact on the surrounding area..."
Somewhere in Sioux Falls an irritable hunter will find a dazed once-angel in a large pit behind an auto-yard. Cas will remember his days as an angel with longing and wistful grief, but the apocalypse is, eventually, stopped. And in a distant summer day the time comes that he learns the meaning of his new name, and wonders if God had not had a hand in his fate after all.
Because 'Cas' means 'shining upon man'.
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