Sachi Gosetsuke: a little sad, a little sweet, mostly drabble. This is all Xiao's thoughts after the third tournament.
Disclaimer: all Tekken characters are property of Namco. This story, however, is mine.
o-o-o
No More Memories
By Sachi Gosetsuke
…
It was late that night. Around midnight to be exact. But as for the young Chinese girl, she was wide-awake.
A bit clichéd, how a person can be different as day and night. By day, they could be a normal person, going to work, playing it safe, normal and typical. Yet at night, it they could be different: wild, carefree, completely the opposite of their alter ego.
It seemed that way to her.
At day she would play her part, wear a smile, act like the normal, hyperactive always-happy Ling Xiaoyu. No one saw past the mask. No one knew how badly she was still hurting inside. Or at least, to Xiaoyu, no one had to know.
During the day, she would go on, acting like her wounds healed quickly and life had gone on for her. She would wake up, shower, hang with her friends at the mall or the ice cream parlor, and go to school, just as she did before. During the day, no one could see her scars.
But as different as night and day are, Xiaoyu was the same. At night she was different. At night, while she lay in her king-sized bed at the Mishima Mansion which she still called "home," she would lie awake, refusing to dream of the memories she longed to live again. She didn't dream, for she was afraid to dream and wake up to find out it wasn't real. But no one, not even Ling Xiaoyu, could decide what to dream. So she dreamed. But no matter what, she was still plagued by the memories day and night.
She missed him. She could no longer deny it. Even after two years, she still hasn't let him go. A part of her still hoped that some day the Mishima heir would come back, and everything would be normal. A part of her still craved for the memories, still craved to re-live them once more. A part of her hoped that she would wake up from this nightmare and be with him again. A part of her still longed for his company, his loyalty, and his love.
Even before he abandoned her, she still hadn't won his heart. She felt that it was a battle long lost. She never told him of her feelings, scared that she would ruin their friendship.
Life was still ok, with them just friends, though Xiaoyu did wish for things to be different.
But now that he was gone, she regretted never telling him. Perhaps he would have stayed if he knew how it would kill her if he left. But it was too late now. He had left her.
She didn't know where he went. She waited for him, for days that turned into weeks, weeks that turned into months…it had been two years since he left. And she still doesn't know why.
Ever since he left after the third Iron Fist tournament, she had been plagued with thoughts of why he had left. She came to the conclusion that it must have been her. She must have said something, done something without knowing it that drove him off…but what she feared the most was that he must have found out about her feelings.
She felt abandoned. Rejected…and alone. Her friends helped her though. They had been so thoughtful and loyal. Though their attempts to set her up with someone else failed, they didn't give up, though Xiaoyu wished they would.
She sat on her bed, cross-legged, her long, ebony hair no longer in her ordinary pigtails, but cascading down her back and shoulders. With the help of her clear eye senses and the moonlight spilling through the large French windows and onto her bed, she looked over her album.
Her album was filled with many memories. With each picture, she could clearly remember the moment it was taken, like the one in her white and peach Chinese Qua Pao, standing near a fancy, rosebud frosted cake. Her 16th birthday. One of the last days she had spent there in China before she moved to Japan to enter the tournament.
But after the pictures of her 16th birthday, along with other last moments in China, the pictures turned into memories of Japan. Xiaoyu, in front of the fountain in the grand backyard of the mansion…there, in front of her school with Panda, taken by her best friend Miharu…and also, Jin.
Soon all the pictures were full of memories of Jin…Xiaoyu and Jin at the carnival…the ice cream parlor…at school…at the mansion…lots, and lots of them.
Her smile began to waver. She had stopped at the picture of her, Jin, and Panda. She had surprised Jin then. She, Miharu and Panda had ran up to him as he was walking in the school's courtyard, Xiaoyu threw an arm around his broad shoulders, and Panda jumped in front of them, and Miharu, who was holding the camera, ran in front of them and took the picture. Jin's expression was surprised, embarrassed and…happy.
It was one of the last pictures of them taken before he left.
All too soon, the album ran out of pictures after Xiaoyu reached that one. The rest of its pages were all blank, in dire need of more memories. But she had none. Jin was gone, and the only memories she had left were sorrow, lonesome, and hurt.
Xiaoyu didn't want the memories. She didn't want to remember how suddenly the classroom was glowing, with just the simple presence of Jin, how suddenly things weren't as dull as they were. She didn't want to remember how much she loved him, how much she cared for him and only wished the best for him, and that someday she could take his pain away for the loss of his mother, and that she could lead him away from his solitude and have a special place in his heart.
Yet deep down she didn't want to forget. Of course not; she didn't want to forget the happy times, whether it was about Jin taking her to the amusement park, or as simple as helping her with her algebra. She still wanted to remember the times she made him laugh, the times she cheered him up, as well as the times he had made her laugh, he had cheered her up, he had helped her through thick and thin…she didn't want to forget.
But if forgetting meant that she would no longer feel the pain, then by God please, no more memories.
Unconsciously, a lone tear had slid down her cheek and dropped onto Jin's face on the picture. Soon Xiaoyu's vision became blurry, as she began to shed silent tears, mourning her loss.
Come back, she thought. Come back Jin.