Bittersweet Surrender
By Lanie
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, Dan, Blair or Chuck.
A/N: A random piece of rambling based on Dan's obsessive feelings for Blair. Kinda sad 'cause he loves her but he'll never have her. She has always belonged to Chuck. He never had a chance.
** WARNING: This is not Dair-friendly. It's not fluffy or happy. It's a dark look at what COULD happen. BUT it's not meant to be anti-Dair either. To the ignoramus that posted the oh-so-couragous flame review, thanks for your bitter opinion but I have as much right to post this as anyone else. It is not meant to start a ship-war. So if you're looking for fluffy Dair-happy fics, this is not for you. Got it?
He doesn't even have to turn around to know who it is. The laugh; unmistakable, radiant and full of life, just like Blair's. He doesn't want to see it. Doesn't want to see the dark locks of dark brown hair or the pale porcelain face that could only belong to a Waldorf. But he turns anyway.
She is beautiful, even at seven. Her cheeks are rosy from the cold and he thinks maybe this is exactly what Blair looked like as a child. Her curls are tucked behind a tiny lavender headband and he almost wants to laugh. He shouldn't have expected anything else. The child giggles as she chases the ducks around the pond, running in her little black flats. A little more carefree, a little bit wilder maybe. But still so very Blair.
He knows he shouldn't have come here. Eight years far away from Manhattan with his beautiful loving wife hadn't been able to drive her smile out of his mind; red and full and brilliant. But upon his divorce and return to New York he couldn't help himself. He found himself going places she used to go. Her old favorite restaurant, her favorite clothing stores. Her special place by the duck pond in Central Park.
The girl turns in his direction and now he can see her face clearly. She is so much like her mother he almost walks over to her. Blair can't be far behind, he thinks. And for a moment, he has hope. Irrationally he thinks that maybe this is a sign. Maybe they really were meant to be. If not, then why had he found her here; this little Blair, so small and full of wonder.
But when he looks closer, he thinks something is wrong. Her eyes are different; they're darker, narrower, not wide and bright like the ones he came to know so well.
When a familiar voice calls out to the girl, "Felicity", her voice is the same sweet drug from his memories. He turns, thinking maybe this is it. She will finally be his. Maybe he doesn't have to ache for her touch alone in his bed at night.
And then he sees them and his heart is ripped from his chest once again. Blair is a vision of beauty all on her own. But he knows the eyes now. Narrow and full of mischief, he knows them well.
The perfect little princess Felicity is a Waldorf, but she is also a Bass.
And so is Blair.
He thinks maybe he'll be sick because it's a cruel de ja vu and he's not strong enough anymore. Blair should be his. She should be Mrs. Blair Humphrey. That was how it was supposed to be.
But still Blair Waldorf-Bass calls to her daughter and links arms with her husband. She snuggles into him and walks by Dan without a second glance. She looks happy.
And she doesn't even notice him.