Summery: Yami feels upset and thinks about everything that has just happened to him and how he will fix it.
Warning: Some cussing, flashbacks to the episode of season four where Yugi's soul is taken, and smoking. No pairings, just angst
I own nothing but the plot.
Song title: Early Sunsets Over Monroeville by My Chemical Romance
For all the Yami-angst writers out there, if it wasn't for you, Yami wouldn't be as fun to write for.
On with the fic
Early Sunsets Over Domino
One-Shot
It hurts.
My face hurts.
My chest hurts.
My hands hurt.
My head hurts.
My body hurts.
My soul hurts.
Why does everything hurt…? I shouldn't feel anything, I'm not alive after all, I should actually be dead. I can't believe I'm still alive; I should have just jumped in front of him like he did for me.
Shit…
I'm leaving, I can't sleep, I don't deserve to sleep.
I tapped my fingers on my leg as I walk out to the beat of a song I know.
I always liked to sing the song when I'm alone, but mouthing it is better now.
Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favorite scenes
Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen
And the whole time while always giving
Counting your face among the living
I close the door behind me, not waking anyone on my way out. I took something from a drawer inside; I think it's the professor's, both might be his unless if they belong to someone else in the trailer.
I got on the roof and lay down, looking at the night sky.
Why is the sky so beautiful and clear while I'm feeling hideous and stained on the inside?
Everyone hates me now, I hate myself more then they hate me combined and times infinity. I open the box I took and pull out a white stick with an orange band on it. I take the lighter and burn the plain tip while the orange one is in my mouth.
Up and down escalators, pennies and colder fountains
Elevators and half price sales, trapped in by all these mountains
Running away and hiding with you
I never thought they'd get me here
Not knowing you changed from just one bite
I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight
Everything tastes like paper to me.
I don't want to smoke but it seems calming right now, though I know I shouldn't, this body is not mine to play around with in such ill manners or destruction.
Still…
I already fucked it up by being in it when the original owner was taken.
But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
But would anything matter if you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
The white smoke doesn't seem to clash with the dark blue of the night sky, makes it look like a galaxy due to the clusters of stars behind it.
I strummed my fingers on the metal under my left hand, still to the same beat as before. I took another puff from the cigarette. I don't know what I'm doing. Everything is in a serious cluster fuck right now.
Maybe I should just kill myself, everyone won't miss me.
But that means that Aibou's body will be ruined and he will be lost forever. I can't have that.
But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
But would anything matter if you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
I jump down and walk off; I don't want to awake everyone.
The song seems to be playing louder and louder in my head with each step I take. I… I have to scream…
I'm far enough away; I can barely see the camp site.
I open my mouth.
But does anyone notice?
I sing.
But does anyone care?
I scream.
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
And would anything matter if you're already dead?
And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
I keep going; I don't care if I'm screaming at no one around me.
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,
And these words changing nothing
As your body remains,
And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
And our memories defeat us,
And I'll end this direst.
I stop and sit, tears coming down my face. It's my entire fault; I fell into my own darkness and played that fucking card. I played it, knowing the consequences, I played it thought, I played that stupid, fucking card!
And Yugi paid the price.
Shit… I'm a mess… if Kaiba ever sees me like this; he would never let me live it down, same with Bakura or Marik.
Why am I laughing right now? What is so funny to me? Have I finally cracked under the whole idea that I lost Aibou's soul, that I doomed the whole world, that I finally proved Rafael right?
I'm so messed up…
Why can't I stop crying?
I should cry, I can't bottle up my emotions… I don't want them to get worse… I just don't want to cry…
But does anyone notice?
I put out the cigarette and stand up. The sun is coming up soon, we need to get ready for our train, I need to find him soon…
But does anyone care?
The song is coming back, might as well finish it…
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
But does anything matter if you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
Everyone is outside, they turn to see me coming over to them and they all looked relived.
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,
And these words changing nothing
As your body remains,
And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
"Where were you Pharaoh?"
"Yeah, we were wondering why you weren't around the camp site."
"I… I was just off… thinking… but…"
But does anyone notice there's a corpse in this bed?
The End
Very melancholy, I guess. Just trying poetic POV angst. Those are the lyrics to the actual song, though the title of the story is false because this doesn't take place in Domino but I forgot where the hell they were at this time.
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