My Name is Nanashi

Author: satsuki ktsune
Category: angst
Rating: PG, not much blood 'n' junk…
Pairings: light 1x3 (and I mean very light), but that's not what the plot's about…

Warnings: not much, really… just a little blood, angst… you know the drill…
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. I don't make any money, I swear!!!
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome!!! Please??
Notes: This is the second side-story, or prequel, to "Silence and the Soldier". The other one, "I Am", is by Heero's POV so I decided to do one from Trowa's. Now take it into consideration that I'm trying really hard to get into a "Trowa" mood to write this… It's kinda hard.

My name is Nanashi. That is all there is to know when around the likes of me. I have merely stolen the name "Trowa Barton" as a young man who pilots the Gundam Heavyarms. My life began as a soldier the minute I was born and has never stopped.

With stiff hands I pilot my Gundam over to the wreckage. Why is it suddenly my duty to clean up the pieces that was once Heero Yuy? The others merely stand there in shock while I pilot Heavyarms to pick up the broken body amongst the remains of Wing. Can't they do anything besides stand there like blithering idiots?

I cast a quick, emotionless glance at OZ's Tallgeese pilot, Zechs Merquise. He doesn't move to attack, but instead lowers his beam saber and discharges the energy. Perhaps he has a bit of honor within him, enough to leave what is meant to be untouched alone.

Our eyes seem to lock on one another as I start to back away, retreating at a rapid speed. The Oz soldier retreats as well and takes to the air, ignoring the commands of his officer.  The Ozzie commands Zechs to take us down while we were weak, but he doesn't listen. He disappears.

It was another hour before I got to the outskirts of the circus camp where I hid during the cease-fire and times between battles. My sister, Catherine, was waiting for me there, I knew. The curly, red-haired girl could be a bit paranoid sometimes, but what do you expect in rough times like these?

My Gundam was stored in a large truck in the woods. I laid it down on its backside and crawled out of the cockpit, physically and emotionally exhausted. But wait, I thought with a frown, did I even have any emotions? I was about to find out as I would look upon Yuy's body.

It was mangled and broken, the appendages twisted in ways I didn't think was possible. Well, now they were. Blood stained every inch of my mech's hand as he lay there, immobile. Parts of his hair and face were burned from the explosion. He's dead… I thought with certainty. No one could possibly be alive going through something like that and looking the way he did. But I was wrong.

A loud pain-wrenched groan escaped his lips as the mangled limbs shook with effort when Heero Yuy tried to move. How can this be? The famous Gundam pilot opened his eyes and I shook out of my stupor. He's alive, but he may not be for long… I have to get help.

The 01 Pilot struggled in my grasp as I carried him hurriedly to my and Catherine's trailer. Let go of me… He snarled with a raspy voice. I want to die… But would I obey his commands? No, of course not.

Catherine nearly fainted when she saw Heero and I, dripping with blood. Lucklily, she caught herself and helped me instantly. Her heart was a kind one and she was the type of person that liked to give, unlike me.

I don't think I know how to give to another. I lost that ability as a baby, when in a raid I was separated from my parents and sister. Only by fate was I rejoined with her, to find out that my parents were dead. Not that it drove a deep wound in my heart anyways… Not that it mattered to me anymore. I was a soldier with no name. No ties to anything.

So you'll just keep shutting down your heart, huh? Midi had once asked me. How long are you going to wear that tearless mask?

My answer was: Until the day I die… And I meant it.

I tried to ignore the pangs in my heart as I helped Catherine staunch the flow of blood through Heero's wounds to try to save his life. The war needed soldiers like him: strong and dedicated to their cause with no distractions. Not like me. As far as I was concerned, I thought that I could quit living and no one would miss me, except for Catherine, my dear sister. She was my tie to the world, and a distraction nonetheless.

Heero's prussian blue eyes clouded over and slid closed as he slipped back into the throngs of oblivion once more. I found myself hoping that he didn't die and wondered what the hell was wrong with me. It's alright, Trowa. He's just gone to sleep… He's not going to die. We saved him… Catherine assured me. Did I really look that worried?

So the deeply injured pilot slept on a small bed in my room for the next month. He had obviously slipped into a coma, but was in no immediate danger. I was surprised when Cathy called for me, telling me that Heero had woken up.

He looked at me so intensely then that if it weren't for my empty heart, I would have stepped back. But I could see the new blood rising through the bandages that Heero tried to hide as he made a futile attempt to sit up by himself. He didn't want to show his weaknesses as well. He was a true soldier. 

For the first time in years, my hard emerald eyed softened. I moved to help him sit up, even though it was clear he did not want my help or pity.

I was supposed to die… He whispered tiredly, leaning back onto me.

I know, I answered cryptically. But he seemed to understand.

-End-

Author's Note: Well, I just wrote this little thing because I was bored and have severe writer's block in the rest of my stories. I swear I'm going to pick up Machine or Mortal again this week! I swear!!! Please forgive me! Anyways, I hope you liked it and… Tell me what you think, please! Ja ne!