My eyes fluttered open from my beautiful dream. It was about creating my own world- everyone was a pony, they ate rainbows, and pooped butterflies. I tried to fall back asleep, but then I noticed Grover at the entrance to my cabin.
He was wearing pants! I was so excited for the occasion; I tore off my shirt and beat my chest like a gorilla.
Next thing I know, Grover struts up to my bed- yes, struts- and yells "I hate Chiron!"
When I asked him why, he explained that while Chiron was taking his daily visit to Obama's butt, a daisy appeared out of nowhere and Chiron stomped all over it, ate it, pooped it up into his hand, and then proceeded to flush it down a toilet.
"I hate him so much- Look!" He said as he pulled down his pants revealing a portrait of Chiron on the inside of his jeans. "This way" he explained, "whenever I fart, I do so all over his fat, ugly face!"
I probably should've reminded him that I had put methane gas into his pants just a day before, but all I had time to do was jump out of a window before he 'demonstrated', resulting in my entire cabin erupting into flames.
I laughed so hard, that milk came out of my nose. This was odd, considering I wasn't even drinking milk…
It was then that I began my twenty minute make-out session with Annabeth.
About 15 minutes in, Clarisse jumped out of the rainbow tree above us and did a jig in front of us whilst holding a jug under her arm pit.
From out of nowhere, Dionysus comes out on a pogo stick with a bottle of booze and a dinosaur toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and politely informed me that there was a snowman in the guidance office who wished to speak with me.
Annabeth and I stood and began our seventeen mile trek to the Big House. I decided the distance was too great, so I called Blackjack, my uni-pega-saurus to aid us on our journey.
Yo. What's up in da streets boi?
I then slapped him so hard with the Barney squeaky toy I keep with me at all times that he peed himself, which caused the ground around him to turn a mix between magenta and primrose color. He then turned and happily skipped away while singing the Veggie Tales theme song.
I cried and I cried. How were we to get to Frosty the Snowman now??