Shadow walked down the hallways of the G.U.N. fortress. Apparently, he was needed for something "Very important" That they couldn't just tell him about. That really bugged him. Ugh, what was so urgent that he couldn't know about until he got there? Ugh, seriously. Anyways, he walked into the room where he was needed. He was greeted by several different people of G.U.N.'s staff. Rouge the Bat, a good friends of his, who's been working or G.U.N. before he did, E-123 Omega, a robot built by Dr. Eggman and Hope Kintobor, the half sister of Snivley Robotnik, Who was the nephew to Eggman.
"Alight, what is it you want?" Shadow asked with a stern, somewhat annoyed look on his face.
"I've been working on a machine that'll help you get into the Special Zone." Hope said with joy.
Shadow sighed to himself, "Don't we already have that?"
"Yes, but that way you could get hurt by... what dud you say his name was? Feast, or something like that?" Hope continued.
"Feist. And I wouldn't get hurt by that over sized panda..." Shadow replied with sternness.
"You won't now!" Hope said, pressing some buttons on the keyboard in front of her. Suddenly, out of the wall came a vary odd chair-like machine, with a helmet atop of it. "With this, you can enter the Special Zone and use a specially designed robot to go in and retrieve the Chaos Emerald!" Hope said with joy.
Shadow looked at the odd machine with wonderment. And annoyance, but mainly wonderment.
"Wait, how will I bring back the chaos emerald?" Shadow asked.
"That's something that we're still trying to figure out. Right now we'd like to test out your brain patterns in the machine." Hope explained.
Shadow looked at her with a puzzled look, but shrugged it off. He walked up to the machine and sat down in it. "This is only a test, got it?" Shadow told her.
"Of course, Shadow. Now, then, just sit back, relax and let us take care of the rest." Hope said to him.
Rouge snickered to herself in the background. Shadow didn't notice this, however. Hope pressed a button and suddenly, the helmet atop the machine plunked itself onto his head.
Shadow looked around in what appeared to be a brand new environment, underneath the sea. Wait a second, he couldn't breathe under here. His eyes widened and he looked around, trying to see which way was up and down, He took a wild guess that it was whee the light was brighter and swam up towards it. Luckily for him, the air was indeed above him. He gasped for oxygen as he reached the surface. Great. Just great. Whatever happened to "It's just a test"? Ugh. He hated technology sometimes.
"Ahoy!" Said a voice. He looked to where the voice came from and took notice of a giant pirate ship behind him. His eyes widened in confusion. How the heck hadn't he noticed THAT?
Quickly, without any sort of warning, a giant anchor came down and landed on top of his cranium. Shadow wasn't sure how he survived this, but hey, don't look a gift horse in the butt. or was it the mouth?
Somehow, the anchor grabbed him and then pulled him onto the boat. His eyes widened as it did that. What the flip was going on? He landed on the deck to be greeted with a sword to the face. While he expected this, what he didn't expect was the sword to be a balloon one.
"What the f-" Shadow said, immediately having his leg fly into the air. He dangled from what appeared to be a rope.. made of ketchup? He looked around to see exactly what the heck was going on.
"Oi! What do ye scallywags think of me new matey?" Said a voice, sounding incredibly obnoxious.
Shadow saw a very large crew of people on the ship, most of them looking like weirdos and dingdongs. one of them appeared to be a yellow fox with an eye-patch and a cigarette in his mouth. He appeared to be wearing very raggedy clothes and also appeared to have two tails.
Next to him was a green-skinned woman with blue eyes and long green hair that went down to her waist. Oddly enough, she had a figure that could give Rouge a run for her money.
Behind them both was a purple walrus with very large tusks, or teeth or whatever those things are supposed to be, with a bandana on his head, a very large wrench in one of his hands and a beer bottle in the other.
Over next to him was what appeared to be a robot squirrel. That's pretty much the only way people could describe him.
Next to the robotic squirrel were three people, one was a hedgehog a cat and... a Pikachu? Odd, I thought this was a Sonic fanfiction.
Next to the three obvious self inserts who had no particular reason fro being there, was a purple cat, who appeared to be tied up to a pole. "Please help me out here." Blaze said in a monotone voice. Hm. She was the only one who seemed to be normal.
"Yar!" Said the only other member of the crew. Shadow got a good look at the small girl. She was a raccoon, no older then about 7. "Who be this scallywag who be on mah ship?" Marine the Raccoon said in a piratey voice.
The green girl next to the fox dude walked up to Shadow and inspected him, "From the looks of things, it appears to be a hedgehog."
"A hedgehog?" Said the walrus, drunkily, "Hedgehogs are good beer taps!"
Marine took the walrus' beer bottle and spit into it, handing it back to the walrus as if he never noticed it taken out of his hand.
Marine walked up to the hedgehog and smiled evilly, "I know just what we're gonna do with this scallywag."
Shadow gulped. He had no idea why he did, he just did. He knew could Chaos Blast all of these characters into space, but for some odd reason, he gulped.
Shadow pulled the mop out of the bucket and continued to swab the poop deck. How humiliating. The ultimate life form, reduced to swabbing up retarded peoples drool.
The Walrus drooled onto the deck below, his gaze out into the ocean like a drunk person thinking he's seeing Mermaids.
Case in point. Shadow still didn't know why he didn't just teleport out of here. He was perfectly capable of doing so, and even killing all of these loosers. but for some reason he didn't. "Hey, Black-hog!"Marine, the ship's captain yelled, calling Shadow something racist, "Meet me in my office, now!"
Shadow groaned, but followed. Didn't know why she said Office, last time he checked they were on a pirate ship. But when he followed her into a door on the inside was a very large office room with windows overlooking a city. Shadow stared at it in wonderment.
"Now then, you're probably wondering why I called you here." Marine said, ridding herself of her pirate mouth and now actually talking like a proper lady.
"Actually, I'm wondering how the flip you have an entire city outside of your boat that's on water." Shadow said, stating the blatantly obvious.
"Well the reason as to why... is the same reason I've called you onto the boat in general." Marine continued, still talking like a proper lady, "Well the reason as to why is because... I'VE FALLEN MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU SHADOW!"
Shadow's eyes widened as he looked back to the girl, "Say wha-?"
"Indeed. It is true. Come, now, my love, as we shall sail across these twenty four seas f the land of Oop, to find the magical Wizard of Ahz!"Marine said, now sounding more and more like a deranged psychopath.
Shadow looked at her with a look of confusion. Hem knew there was only one thing to do. "Yeah... no..." Shadow said as he punched through the glass and jumped out of the window. He face planted on the ground. But it was oddly softer and a lot less concretey ten he thought it would be. He lifted is head to find that he had somehow entered Egypt.
"How did-?"
"Oh, Shaaaadooooww..." Marine said, sounding rather demonic by this point.
Shadow just went "F #$ it" and ran like the wind. He ran through the sands of Egypt until he ran ino a Pyramid. He ran down the hallway until he found an exit that somehow led him to the Great Wall of China. Wow, Shadow must be smoking something. As he ran, he saw a robin and a bat talking to themselves.
"Holy Chocolate llamas, Manbat, this plot is insane!" The robin said.
"Oh-hohoho, don't worry, Robin, this story isn't meant to be taken seriously!" Manbat replied.
The two exchanged a hearty laugh before being run over by the pirate ship on land.
"Yar! Faster, me maties! We're going to make that blackhog swap the poop deck! Yarharharhar!" Marine laughed manically as her pirate crew sailed across the land somehow.
Shadow kept on running in hopes to get away. He looked back to see the pirates chasing him on the land, which would normally make him question logic, but he knew that where he was right now didn't have logic as a concept. Not looking where he was going, he ran into a wall. He fell to the floor and looked up at what appeared to be the Eiffel tower, Big Ben and that third famous tower that the author doesn't know the name of and doesn't care about.
Suddenly, a dinging noise was heard by the hedgehog and a door opened up. Looking back at the pirates, he ran inside and saw a bunch of buttons in it. He quickly pressed all of the buttons in hopes of any of them, some of them, one of them taking him away from this place. Just as the pirate ship was about to smash into the building the doors shut. Shadow winced as he assumed the pirate ship was about to hit him even if the door did close. But after about thirty seconds, nothing happened. Well, no, nothing didn't happen. The door opened and closed several times, each time showing a different picture. One of them had a cowboy being chased by was a giant space battle, with one of the ships about toi crash into the building, but closing before he hit. Shadow sighed as the idiotic logic was now working in his favor.
Shadow walked out of the building, as it now had reached the top. His eyes widened as he looked upon the environment. He was in space?!
"Nree hee-hee ha-ha hee-hee hee-ha! My plan is brilliant, Grimer, simply brilliant!" Shouted a high voice. Shadow looked behind himself to see a rotund man with a white mustache and blue sunglasses. Next to the man was a green man in a white coat.
"Yes, Dr. Eggman Nega, this plan is indeed brilliant!" He said to the man now known as Eggman Nega.
"Excuse me?" Shadow said aloud, uncharacteristically polite, "What plan are you talking about?"
The two looked down at where the hedgehog was with their eyes widened. At least he assumed the rotund Doctor's were. He couldn't see them under his sunglasses.
"Who are you?" Eggman Nega asked him.
Shadow looked at him and said in a sarcastic tone, "Some call me 'Johnny.'"
"Oh-ho-ho! You're SomeCallMeJohnny!? I absolutely love your work! Especially with BrainSratchComms!" Eggman Nega said with glee.
Shadow had no idea what he was talking about, but he decided to roll with it, "Right. So., what's your plan or whatever?"
Eggman Nega giggled like a Schoolgirl meeting Justin Beaver for the first time, "Oh, of course, how rude of me! I am about to turn the world into a card!"
Shadow's gaze remained unfazed. The idea of turning the world into a card seemed normal in comparison of what he's experienced today, "Okay, why are you turning the world into a card?"
"Why, for the Yu-gi-oh competition this weekend! They think they can stop me with their "Blue-eyes White Dragon, Well, how will the faze when they see the entire planet as a card? Mwuahahahahahaha!" Eggman Nega laughed insanely.
shadow nodded knowingly, but he did see one flaw in his plan, "You do realize that if you turn the world into a card then the Yu-Gi-Oh tournament won't happen, right?"
Eggman Nega's laughter ceased immediately.
"Well, he does have a good point." Grimer told his master.
"Shut up! Let's see how you like being turned into a card?" Eggman Nega said, pointing a laser gun the size of Australia at him. No, really, the gun was the size of Australia. In fact, it was Australia.
Shadow tried to move, but his feet were now stuck to the floor with super glue that Grimer put when he wasn't looking. Despite the fact that he was looking at Grimer the whole time.
Suddenly, the Pirate ship that was chasing him flew up high into the sky as it had a rocket ship attached to it's rear.
"AMAKOOOOOOOO" Marine screamed at the top of her now-manly lungs. Each and every one of those characters from earlier jumped off and attacked.
Shadow's eyes widened in horror as he saw them come. Suddenly, an army of tens of thousands of robots all came from inside Knuckles the Echidna's toaster.
"Wait, what am I doing here?" Knuckles asked.
"All toasters toast toast!" Mario memed.
"Actually, Mario, Toast doesn't go in a toaster, bread does" Double D stated.
"Waluigi is here to plug you to Tails and Luigi's Mansion! It is a good story by this author! One that he didn't write on a dare like this fanfiction! Waluigi swears it!"
Shadow stared at all of the events around him with the exact same expression that you have on your face right now.
"Shadow, my love!" Marine shouted.
"You're too late, Ra-poopyface!" Eggman Nega stupidly insulted, "I will turn Shadow the hedgehog into the ultimate playing card for the Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament! And then I will turn you into the second ultimate playing card for the Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament!"
Marine jumped and said, "Not if we're one and the same!" She landed in front of Shadow and pulled the clusterfackingly confused hedgehog into a kiss. Eggman Nega held Australia at them and turned them into the greatest playing card there ever was.
Shadow jumped out of the chair, breathing heavily at what he had just experienced.
"Shadow?" Hope asked him.
Shadow looked up at her. Hope seemed to be acting normal. He looked around and saw Rouge and omega staring at him. looking around even ore, he was able to piece together that whatever logic lacking world he was in he sure wasn't there now. He was in the normal world. Quickly, he grabbed the machine and teleported out of the room. Hope, Rouge and Omega looked at each other.
Shadow teleported near an active volcano and threw the machine that he took with him into it before teleporting back.
Shadow teleported back into the room with the other three. They looked at him with confused looks. "Let's just go to the special zone the old fashion way." Shadow said, trying to retain his aloof demeanor.
And his sanity.
The ebony hedgehog walked out of the room. Now that he was gone, Rouge and Hope looked at each other. The two snickered quietly, before bursting into laughter.
"Ohohohohoho! Man! That was too great!" Hope said, tears of laughter coming out of her eyes.
"Yeahahahaha! Amakooo! I cracked up at that!" Rouge said, holding her gut, "You got all of that one tape, Omega?"
"Affirmative. Instantly downloading to YouTube." The robot told them.
The two continued to laugh at the insaine prank the pulled on Shadow. April Fools day was a great day when you have virtual reality and a lack of normal calendars.