The phone continued to beep. Nick's breathing was short and fast. In a way he wished that the call wouldn't be answered, that he wouldn't have to go through with this. But he could choose to stop the call and just go through with it, or get to hear that beautiful voice one more time, even if it would kill him inside.
He felt the hand on his shoulder, cold like ice, - piercing his skin where all of the bruises and deep cuts were, and sending shivers into his very soul. He wished it hadn't come to this. The call was still processing, it wasn't being answered yet.
"You know what to say, don't you?" The cruel voice said from behind him. Nick closed his eyes and nodded, trying to keep the emotions inside. "Remember, leave no way of him wanting to come and find you. And do it right. Or you know the consequences".
Nick nodded again. How could he forget? He was currently living in his worst nightmare. There was no way out, no air, no hope. Even though the stranger had seen Nick nod, he still repeated his conditions.
"You must tell him that you are leaving immediately and don't ever want to see his face again. Don't mess around with it. Remember this, It's either your death - or his".
Nick shuddered. He had known from the moment he was abducted that he was going to be the one to die. It had to be him; He would never let this man touch Jeff. As long as Nick died now, Jeff was safe forever and would remain unharmed. That was all Nick wanted now. Jeff's safety. The part that would come after this phone call wasn't even the hardest part: this call and the lying would be the thing to break Nick's heart, and he would greet death bravely - It was better than living with the guilt of what he was about to do.
The buzzing stopped, there was a muffled noise, and the call began.
"Hello?" Jeff's innocent voice played out through the phone. "Nick? Are you there? I haven't seen you in three days! Why aren't you answering my calls? Are you ok?". Jeff sounded really worried. This was getting harder and harder. Nick tried his best to steady his voice, and to fight the want to scream down the phone, begging Jeff for help, to rescue him and hold him in his arms again. That was the only way Nick could ever feel safe again, that was his one true happy place. All that was left to do was cut those ties, sever the bonds of the relationship they had shared ever since they met in the playground in year two. Nick remembered Jeff with his cute spiky hair and the teddy he clutched onto day and night, but he couldn't think about that now. It was too painful. As Nick began to speak back, the tears came and his voice wobbled slightly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the glint of a knife, and knew what was coming. He had to finish this now, or he'd die without any sort of closure with Jeff. It would be better for Jeff to hate him, than to spend forever looking for someone who was long gone.
"No Jeff" Nick began, "I'm not ok. And neither are you. Just.. Don't talk to me again." He heard a gasp from the other end of the call, but didn't stop. "I hate you Jeff, I always have. And I can't bear to ever see you again. Do me a favour and never call, never write, and never come to see me. I'm leaving immediately. Delete my number from your phone - Don't EVER contact me again".
He heard sobs from the other end of the phone.
"But Nick.. Why? What did I do? Please tell me!" Jeff cried.
"No." Nick answered. He looked into the mirror to see the man still watching, over his shoulder. Moving the knife from hand to hand. The man mouthed something as Jeff continued to plead.
Finish it.
Nick got together all of his strength even though he was tearing apart, and did what he had to do.
"Jeff, I was using you. I hate you. Our relationship was never special, - I was lying to you. What don't you get about that? Now don't call me again. We're done. There never even was an 'us' Jeff so grow up and get over it!".
Nick shut the phone and looked up into the mirror. His face was bright red with endless tears streaming down his cheeks. He had done it. The one great thing in his life was now pushed far away. There was no meaning anymore, Jeff was gone and he was never going to see him again. Nick would never get to hold him in his arms once more. No more seeing that beautiful smile as he made Jeff pancakes in the morning. No more late nights cuddling and watching the same movies over and over. No more spending the whole day waiting to see that gorgeous face, and knowing that Jeff was his everything. Because he wasn't anymore. Nick was only going to be a memory to Jeff now, and after that call, it probably wouldn't be a good memory. Nick hoped with all his heart that there was someone else out there to make Jeff happy, and that he would truly be safe and grow old with someone, as Nick and he had always planned. Jeff and this person would raise their own children, and Jeff would be happy again. He'd forget about Nick and move on with his life. That's all Nick could ever want now. He stood and turned to greet the knife in the hands of the man that had torn such a perfect life apart. Everything about Nick's life had been utterly perfect, but he had lost it.
Nick looked straight up into the man's eyes, wiped his tears with the part of his arm he could still manage to lift, breathed in, and nodded.
"I'm Ready".