Eren shot up in his bed, arm outstretched with tears in his eyes, still trying to reach out to his mother, he lowered his hand and gritted his teeth, his mother had haunted almost all of his dreams ever since she died,
He tried so hard to push forward, to kill all those who took his mother away, but it never left, but, he reasoned, it had been a lot worse before he joined the trainees squad,
Back then, he would wake up still screaming with tears in his eyes, it was always mikasa who consoled him, he would always feel guilty when she helped him to go back to sleep by hugging him and telling him it was okay, he always felt like he was too clingy to his sister and that only brought more stress on her, he had always had that guilt, but as he grew older, he became more capable at taking care of himself, he was only a few years off from becoming an adult, he was in no position to remain that weak, as he couldn't rely on others forever.
If he was honest with himself, he hated how much he leaned on mikasa, he used to think he looked after himself, but it was always her that took care of him and got him out of trouble, and what did he ever do? Mouth off at her and blame her, he never once thanked her for all she has done,
"I'm sorry Mikasa, I'd be better off dead." He muttered into his pillow.
He had been weak, he fell to her, he relied on her for a year and a half after their mother died, but even now, to this day, while they were even training to fight titans, she would still open up her arms, embrace Eren and talk to him if he needed, when was he ever there?
He gritted his teeth a second time, the simple answer was that he wasn't there, he never was, and never so much as a thank you for all she has done and will do.
He shut the guilt away and forced himself into a dark, dreamless sleep.
...
Breakfast was as loud as it usually was, and as much as eren always blew it off, he liked it when it was loud and lively, it showed that people could still be happy, and that gave him hope, maybe EVERYONE could be happy again someday.
He usually sat with mikasa and armin, but today, Annie walked over, and pointed at the empty seat next to Eren.
"May I take that seat?" She asked.
"Yeah, why not?" Eren said, he didnt know much about Annie leonheart, but he did enjoy training with her quite often, even IF he got his ass handed to him every single time, he still enjoyed it nonetheless, he did learn from it, as painful as it was, and Annie said herself she didn't just do it cause she was bored, she went out of her way to do so.
"What brings you here? Don't you seat with Reiner and Bertholt near Marco and Jean?" Armin inquired.
"Yes, I do, however, Jean got rejected by Christa recently apparently, and now he's gotten desperate, and has in turn become both a jerk-off and a massive pervert." She explained.
Eren turned and looked at Jean at a table full of girls as he made attempts at flirting, most of them completely blew him off, but he persisted, making him look like a total creep, Eren gave a disgusted sigh and went back to his meal.
He finished it, as much as the resources were shit, they did a good job at preparing the food.
Mikasa and Armin were not as fast at finishing their meals, so they simply looked down and kept eating.
Then, all of sudden, Annie looked around her, surveying the area, looked at Erens two friends, then took a sip of her beer, but at the same time, scooted 6 inches closer to eren, and slowly and discreetly, grabbed Eren's hand and entwined her fingers with his and held on.
Eren looked over in surprise, However Annie acted like she didn't even move or acknowledge Eren in any way, but she still held his hand under the table, and Eren had never had any girl touch him in a... what he was Guessing was a Romantic advance, he had absolutely no experience, but Annie had moved over so her arm didn't look like it had moved and nobody would even guess they were holding hands, Eren didn't know why she was making such an effort to hide it, but not wanting to piss her off, make things awkward, or upset her in anyway, he did the same, and didn't acknowledge it, but he decided to give her hand a quick squeeze to she if she would respond to it.
She gave a small squeeze back, and looked in deep thought, and then, she appeared to notice something a took a chance to... maybe move things along in the direction she wanted.
"Sheesh, look at Franz and Hannah over there, little aggressive?" Annie Commented, and when the four looked over, they saw the two lovebirds snuggling and kissing at any given chance,
"Romantic and Bold, yes, Aggresive? No." Mikasa pointed out.
Eren turned, "Since when do you know anything about romance?" Eren asked with a surprised look, she never showed any interest in that stuff before.
"I've been reading some novels of that genre lately." She said wiping her mouth and pushing her tray to the side.
"I have too, which one is your favorite?" Annie asked.
Eren and Armin sat there, stunned as the most Serious and Emotionless women they have ever met, chat about sappy romance novels,
But even with hand gestures, Annie never let go of Eren's hand until breakfast ended.
...
They ended up receiving a day off from training due to some equipment failure, so until it was fixed the next day, they were free to mingle and do as they please.
Eren and Mikasa walked off and just chatted about things
"Eren, when was the last time we walked together like this? When we were kids?" She asked.
"Yeah, it was around the time dad took you in, so I decided you would come play with Armin and me so you could get comfortable around us." Eren recalled that time period, it would've been around 5 and a half years ago.
"Eren, I've been thinking, and, I need to hear it from you." She said very sternly in the tone she uses when she is very serious, usually when she is riled up about something and needs it off her chest, Eren remembered what he thought about the night before, and decided he would be there for her more.
He put his both hands on her shoulders, "of course Mikasa, what is it?" He asked kindly.
Mikasa was surprised for a moment by the sudden tenderness from Eren, who was usually so hot blooded and fiery, but got back to the point.
"With both your parents missing, were not bound by them anymore, are we still siblings? We're not related by mood and our surnames are different, are we even?" She asked with a look so full of emotion that Eren never saw before.
"I- I don't know, you've always been my family, but you have a good point, I don't know Mikasa, but whatever you want, I'm ok with it, cause I'll always be there for you, just like you were for me." Eren says with a quick smile at the end, and then gets another idea and pulls Mikasa into a hug, like she used to do.
Mikasa was very surprised by Eren's reaction, and gladly accepting his hug, holding him tightly, she never wanted to forget this moment, she wanted to hold it dear to her.
"Mikasa, thank you for everything you did for me, I couldn't have made it this far without you." Eren said, his voice cracking slightly, as a large amount of his memories hit him at once, but not enough to break him.
"I would do it all over again if it meant I could spend all that time with you, I love you Eren." She said, her voice truly beginning to break.
Eren was about ready to cry too, he hadn't let himself feel much since his mothers death and his fathers disappearance, but both him and Mikasa had feelings that were finally released after so long.
They walked about a dozen extra yards until they were at the edge of a slant on the edge of a lake that shined and glistened in the sun.
Eren sat with his arm around Mikasa, who in turn, placed her head on his shoulder, then after getting comfortable and a little brave, she turned, placed her arms and against Eren and snuggled right up next to him, and Eren, who didn't really care, wrapped his other arm around her as well as she placed her head against his chest.
"Mikasa."
"Yes?"
"I love you too."
"Not in the way I want."
"What do you mean?"
"I know what I want now Eren."
"You mean by the siblings or not question?"
"Yes, but I don't know if I'm allowed."
"Well, try."
"You sure Eren?"
"I'm sure Mikasa."
Mikasa slowly leaned forward so she could face him, placed her left hand on his chest, then placed her right hand on his cheek, her short hair blowing in the wind, she slowly came closer, and kissed Eren gently on the lips, and then pulled away and gently placed her forehead on his chest and dropped her hands till they were on her lap.
"I love you Eren, in, you know... that way." She said as Eren now fully understood what she meant.
Eren knew he shouldn't speak, he knew what to say, but not how, so instead he thought for a moment.
He lifted her jaw up to him and gently kissed her slowly, she placed her hands where they previously were, and Eren put his right on her hip, and his left on her upper back.
He didn't know how to properly know how to make a long, driven response, but when she kissed him, he knew exactly how he felt, and knew he wanted to be with her in the same way she wanted to be with him, not as siblings or family, but as lovers.
Neither one of them wanted to stop the kiss, but they had to, they couldn't just sit and make out right by a pathway, Eren didn't care what people said or thought of him, in exception for a few people, but he knew the instructors were not going to accept such actions if they saw them doing as such.
Instead he said a few words to his new lover, "Mikasa, I love you too, in the same way."
...
Eren sat in the grass next to Mikasa and Armin, all the trainees agreed that they wanted to have a picnic outside on the field and see the Stars as they ate, which, sounded like a good idea to anyone.
So everyone sat in little groups of three or four ok their separate blankets, the three of them sat somewhere in the middle of the field,
They told Armin about the new relationship they shared and their feelings, and Armin honestly didn't care, he just wanted his friends happy, and it wasn't hurting anybody, so he didn't care and was fine when Mikasa wrapped an extra blanket around her and Eren and snuggled with him, Armin wrapped himself too while they ate, it was still cold,
They just ate and laughed and talked, the three hadn't been so happy in years, it was an amazing night, but it was really Eren and Mikasa having the most memorable time,
Neither of them cared to hide their newfound relationship, they even kissed while they were out there, and some people gave them weird looks and snorted or laughed, one guy even commented on it,
Eren simply glared at them until they backed off, Eren made himself known in his time there, his fighting was top of the class, nobody wanted to pick a fight with him and would back down anyday to stay out of one.
They later turned off their lanterns after they finished their meals and looked at countless stars while laying in the grass,
"They're so beautiful" Mikasa whispered to Eren,
"Not a single one compares to you." He whispered back.
...
Neither one liked it, but they still had to sleep in separate dorms, but she still made a point to tell Eren to try and sneak out, and she would watch through he window just in case, but if he couldn't then to just sleep.
He walked in and set up his bedspread,
Reiner and a few others commented on him and Mikasa, and then gave him props as only other guys in his bunk area knew that he and Mikasa weren't blood related, and that she hadn't even been adopted. Others, well, just gave him a weird look then went about their business.
"Hey Eren! I hear you're having a fling with Mikasa!" Jean said from behind him.
"It's not a "fling", we have mutual feelings" Eren corrected him with his usual disgust for the other boy.
"Well, what if I happen to want her?" Jean smirked.
Eren turned and fully faced him, "then you can forget any thoughts of it, cause if you try anything to take her, I will personally kick your ass ten times over." He said glaring at Jean with hate for this boy who had the balls to start some shit cause he was pathetic and desperate.
"Ok jeez, reign your shit in yeager! But keep in mind you don't tell me what to do."
Eren responded by swiftly punching Jean in the jaw, knocking Jean flat on his ass.
Reiner stepped forward and gave Jean shit for trying to pick a fight with Eren,
They all went to sleep, but Eren remained awake until the others all passed out, then snuck out to go find the girls dorm to go see Mikasa,
That does it for this chapter! Hope you enjoyed!