This was long overdue to be published somewhere and so I decided that I might as well publish it now.
This story is loosely based on the vocaloid song 'Kokoro', so in other words its not going to have a happy ending but I welcome you to read it anyway.
The cover art for this story was drawn by a very close friend of mine who goes by Diamondsnake on DA. I encourage you to check out her work if you are a fan of this couple.
The news had struck Newton like a brick. The news he never in a million years wanted to hear, but came to him anyway in the form of a simple phone call.
Zero was gone -murdered in his own prison cell by his cellmate simply because he was there. The man had choked his poor former student to death without second thought. Newton couldn't recall how many hours he had spent crying. Just when Zero had a second chance - he had been so close to getting a parole hearing. Now everything was ruined.
Newton hadn't even been able to collect Zero's body to give him a proper burial; only to view him lying on a cold metal table in a morgue. Apparently, right to the body was something restricted to only direct relatives. Unfortunately for poor Zero his only direct family were all located in Unova - and not a single one wanted anything to do with him anymore. Newton had begged them to let him have Zero's body; instead, they cremated him in an oven.
It was then that he forced them to let him have Zero's ashes. If nothing else, just let him have his ashes so he could dispose of them properly and save them the trouble of doing it themselves. After finally threatening with lawsuit, they handed the ashes over to Newton.
Once he had them though he really didn't know what to do with them. A few times, he considered trying to find a way into the Reverse World to sprinkle the ashes there. But eventually he realized that would only lead him into trouble with Giratina. So now, the lovely urn that held the ashes sat on a shelf in his home, easily viewable to anyone.
After losing Zero, Newton had fallen into a pit of sadness and loneliness. Back when Zero had left the first time, he went to the Reverse World to distract him from his lonely existence. But now he didn't have that realm of near fantasy to keep away the emptiness brewing in his heart - only cold reality. The cold reality that he felt so utterly alone and he knew no matter how hard he searched he would never find someone who could fill that void quite like Zero did. Even when he branched out in an attempt to find friends, none of them filled that empty hole in his heart.
One day though, when he talking to a friend whom he had recollected with, he was given an idea that could save him from his loneliness.
"It's a good thing you're finally starting to get out of that stuffy lab of yours, Newton." A man stated as he slowly tinkered with a few mechanical pieces. Newton just watched with a slightly bemused expression.
"You're one to talk Eric, you spend all your time cooped up in this workshop of yours..." Newton looked around at the various pieces of machinery that laid about almost half-hazard.
Newton had actually known Eric long before he'd met Zero, and inspiring engineer and mechanic that he had shared a few classes with in college. He was a man that was dedicated to his field just like Newton, always having a wrench in his back pocket and smelling a tiny bit like motor oil no matter how many showers he took.
"Yeah well I gotta keep up with the newest innovations." Eric stated without batting an eyelash, "Did you know they are getting so advanced they are trying to experiment with androids now?"
Newton raised an eyebrow curiously at this.
"I mean they've been working on it for a few years actually but only now are they really starting to perfect the art. I swear some of the good ones are so life-like you could barely distinguish them from actual human beings. It's amazing!" Eric looked up at Newton with a passionate flare in his eyes.
"Life-like you say...?"
"Yeah they look and move just like any other human being." He smiled returning to his work for a minute before realization struck him. He looked up at Newton and could see a spark in his eyes that he hadn't seen in a long while.
"So...you're saying that you can replicate a human being...?"
There was a long silence between the two males and Eric stared at Newton for a while as if to analyze his motives before suddenly his eyes widened and he gave the other male a disapproving glare.
"I know what you are getting at here Graceland..." Eric spoke with a much darker tone in his voice now, "You can replicate a perfect copy but it will never be him..." He refrained from speaking the name of Newton's deceased pupil.
"But there is a chance right...?" Newton's eyes were slightly hopeful.
"You can replicate the most advanced AI to date and it still wouldn't be completely human. I recommend you don't try to use robotics to bring back your friend. In the end, it's just an empty shell that is programmed to do what it's told. You can't program a human soul - it just can't be done..."
"Yes but I can still try can't I...they said I would never find the reverse world but I did so anyway." Newton gave a weak smile as he leaned against Eric's workbench.
"You're only setting yourself up for more heartache and disappointment." Eric warned.
"I have to try...I can't live with this guilt any more. It's my fault he is dead in the first place...if I just hadn't deleted those blueprints..." Newton sighed, "If I had only seen it coming...I could have done more..."
"Not even you could have seen something like that coming..." Eric whispered.
"That's why I have to try with this...I just can't let it go..." Newton whispered, looking down at his feet.
"Oh well I can't stop you by force from doing what you want but again I'm warning you that you will only be disappointed with the results..." Eric mumbled as he returned to his work.
"Not if I pour my heart and soul into it. I will put even more in than I did with the Giratina project." He gave a small smile.
"Alright...but don't say that I didn't warn you..." The other male whispered as he returned to his work.
That had been nearly six years ago. Newton had done just what he said and poured his heart and soul into the efforts of creating a perfect replica of Zero. Making blueprints, gathering all the right parts he would need to re-create him, and most importantly creating an AI. He actually used the AI program that Zero had developed, Infi, as a reference point to create the one that would be given to the android once it was finished.
It was a harder task than Newton had ever imagined that it could be, but whenever he got discouraged or frustrated he would just remember all the times he and Zero had spent together - how much he wanted that all back. That gave him the initiative to keep on working, the willpower to keep striving forward.
Most of his friends had all called him crazy save for a select few who weren't sure how to feel about Newton's efforts. But Newton didn't care about their opinions; it didn't matter to him now. All that mattered was the task he had brought upon himself.
The only person who had ever offered a single hand in assistance was an old friend from high school - now a doctor - who assisted him in making the android anatomically correct, giving it structures and interworking features that even the most human androids had yet to possess. She also helped him create a voice bank for Zero using samples from all the videos he had of their times in the Reverse World and other home videos.
It would be perfect, he didn't care what Eric had said. He would have Zero back.
Finally, after so many years of hard work, countless sleepless nights spent working, everything that he had put into it. It all finally paid off.
The android looked exactly like Zero, down to every detail. The hair had been one of the hardest things to replicate but it had been managed. Even if it was artificial, it felt just like Zero's hair. Everything was perfect though, right skin color, hair color, and eye color. The body was built exactly proportionate to Zero's own measurements that Newton had gathered from his prison file.
Now all that was left was to upload the AI program, the thing he had spent even more time working on than he had the body itself. He hadn't missed a detail on that either, trying to achieve as much sentience as he could.
Newton looked at the android that was hooked up to the computers with a loving, affectionate smile. Reaching up with his hand he gently ran it through the fringe of hair that covered its face before strolling over to the main computer. This was it - the final step to activate him.
He typed on the keyboard a few times, entering all the protocols he needed to initiate the transfer of data from the computer to the android. It would be a lengthy transfer; there was so much to send over after all. It was okay, Zero had enough room to store all the data, and even more so that the system could build on itself.
Newton kept a careful eye on both the monitor of the computer and Zero's android body during the entirety of the procedure - excited and anxious smile never leaving his face not once. It took a few hours but finally the giant process bar on the screen had hit 100% and the computer immediately shut itself off. Newton then looked over at Zero, waiting for him to activate.
There was nothing, the androids eyes still remained closed and the body did not move. Newton felt his heart skip a beat as he hurried over to where he was standing in front of it.
"Zero...can you hear me...?" Oh god what if it didn't work. What if all this work had been for naught? "Zero!"
Suddenly, Newton's dreading fear had all but vanished when he saw the droids eyelids flutter open slowly. The frown that was on his face quickly turning into a wide grin.
"You're awake! It worked! It worked!" Newton had to resist jumping up and down in pure excitement. He looked up into the droids gold eyes, "Zero do you know who I am?"
Zero studied Newton for a moment, looking him up and down for a moment.
"You are my Professor, Newton Graceland." The voice sounded just like Zero's, with barely a hint of robotic quality to it.
Newton smile broadened even further, "Is everything working alright?"
The droid nodded, "All systems are operational..."
Newton could barely contain his happiness; he reached forward and pulled Zero into a tight hug, resting his head on the droid's shoulder. Newton still maintained the grin on his face, a few tears of happiness welding in his eyes.
"I missed you so much Zero!" He exclaimed, pulling back to look at Zero's face. His smile quickly dropped though when he saw the lack of expression on Zero's face.
"Z-Zero...?" He looked at Zero's face concerned.
"I missed you too professor." There was still a lack of expression on his face. They were just empty preprogrammed words.
Newton suddenly wanted to cry in sadness instead of happiness. Eric had been right. It still wasn't Zero, not completely anyway.
But still, it was as close as he could get, and that enough would have to do. Even if it wasn't Zero in terms of personality, it still looked and sounded just like Zero. He wasn't going to let all the effort he had put into that go to waste either.
He let out a heavy sigh and gently gave Zero a pat on the shoulder, giving him a smile.
"Looks like there's still some work I need to do yet..." He whispered, wiping the tears away from his eyes.
"I'll stay here and help you with whatever you need me too..." Zero stated. Newton looked over into his eyes, even if the robot was full of life; the eyes were so lifeless it hurt.
"Yes, that would be great!" Newton nodded, "I could use all the help I can get around here. It's been quite lonely."
Zero just stared at him blankly; it was obvious he did not understand the concept of loneliness. Newton let out a heavy sigh. He had a lot of work he needed to do indeed.
But how could one create a soul - a heart? According to Eric, it was impossible, but noting is truly that way, is it? Surely, anything is possible? Maybe incredibly difficult, but not impossible.
A voice in the back of Newton's head was telling him not to waste his time. He had played god enough he didn't need to try to take it a step further.
No, he had to do something. He couldn't live with this - he had to do more. Even if it took him the rest of his life...
A few more years had passed since that day and Newton had dedicated his time yet again in a desperate attempt to create the one thing no one had surely attempted before - a sentience program. A program that would allow Zero to feel emotion - that would bring light to those empty cold eyes of his.
The answers always seemed to be beyond his reach, programming actions was child's play compared to trying to program even the most basic of human emotions. Some days Newton would work his brain so much he thought it would explode.
But every time he looked at Zero - there was so much potential within him. He couldn't give up. The answers had to be hidden somewhere. They just had to be.
One day he had been in the lab, still attempting another run with programming. When it had failed he couldn't take it anymore and he broke down in front of the computer in tears - sobbing so hard he didn't notice Zero's presence behind him. A hand gently rested itself on his shoulder and Newton flinched, looking back at Zero with tears still falling down his cheeks. Zero didn't say anything at first, he just looked at him for a minute, as if he was processing a lot of information at once.
"Why do you cry, Professor...?"
Newton's teary eyes widened for a moment and he turned around to face Zero, looking up at him. Maybe it had been his imagination, but for a moment, he thought he saw something in the way Zero was looking at him...
"The reason I cry...I cry because I am sad..." He explained slowly, wiping his tears away.
"Why do you experience this sadness?"
"Because you can't..."
Zero tilted his head just a bit, as if trying to comprehend what Newton was saying to him.
"What is it like to experience sadness?" The android asked, pulling up a seat to sit across from Newton.
"Well...it's not a very nice feeling at all...the best way I could describe it is like feeling a small emptiness inside of you... When the heart spirals into a deep abyss..." He looked up at Zero, seeing only what appeared to be confusion written on his face, "It's...not an easy thing to explain really..."
Zero didn't really say anything; again, he looked like he was trying to process what had just been said to him.
"I don't understand..." The android admitted quietly. Newton just reached forward and gently ruffled Zero's soft hair.
"It's alright...I wasn't really expecting you to..." He gave a sad defeated smile at the android.
Zero fell silent after that, and after a few minutes, rose from the chair and walked away.
Later that night when they went home Newton couldn't help but feel a bit wearier than usual, and not just mentally. He felt physically exhausted as well, more so than usual. Maybe it was time he scheduled himself a long overdue visit with the doctor.
It was probably noting to serious, most likely just the stress he had been putting on himself as of late combined with his age.
He looked over at Zero who was standing in the living room, looking over at the urn on the shelf. The urn that held the ashes of the person he was based on. The android knew this; he would sometimes refer to himself as Zero's replacement, which Newton hated.
The android seemed deep in thought as he reached over and placed a hand on the blue marble. Newton didn't pay much thought into the curiosity and went back to cooking his dinner.
Going to the doctor, the next day has led to a less than positive diagnosis. According to the doctor, he had primary hypertension, something that had surprised Newton at first until he took a look into his family history and discovered it was something both his father and grandfather suffered from. The doctor had assured him it was nothing that he should worry about too much and prescribed him some medicine to help keep his blood pressure at a healthy rate. Still, Newton couldn't help but be concerned; high blood pressure was something that could only lead to more problems...
He contemplated whether he should tell Zero or not. He didn't really seem the harm in it, after all it was in his knowledge and understanding, and he could have someone to remind him to take his medication each day in case he ever accidentally forgot.
When he explained it to Zero it went easier than he had expected to and Zero fully understood the situation and put it in his memory to remind Newton when to take the medication. For a while after that things seemed to go back to normal and Newton did his best to try and lower his stress levels and cut the hours he spent trying to program in half.
He had decided to go to someone for help, a friend of his he had met after Zero had past who was a psychologist. She helped him figure out the questions he himself could not manage and he had actually begun to make some progress on programming emotions. It was very small progress though - minuscule even - but it gave Newton some hope, hope that this could be done after all.
One day though...
"Professor I brought you the coffee you asked for." Newton turned his head - that had been glued to the computer monitor - to see Zero walking over to him, a cup in hand. Newton gave a warm smile.
"Thank you Zero..." He graciously accepted the drink from Zero before turning back to the computer, examining the lengthy amount of code that was written on the screen. There was still so much more left to add - to program - but if Newton played his cards right Zero would be able to feel basic emotions soon enough.
He looked over at Zero for a moment, to see that face smile again like it used to was one of the many things that kept him going. The one thing he wanted more than he had wanted anything in the world was to see that smile - if just for one moment.
"Is there anything else that you need me to do professor?" Zero asked. Newton took another sip of the coffee before shaking his head.
"No, but thank you Zero." He smiled.
"Did you remember to take your medication today?" Newton had to think about it for a moment, he was pretty positive he had taken two pills before coming to the lab today.
"Sure did." He gave another soft smile over at Zero before returning to work. The android simply gave a nod before wandering off to do whatever it felt needed to be done around the lab. He always managed to find something to do.
Newton, meanwhile, gave the screen a frustrated glare over at the screen the moment. He had suddenly found himself at a standstill with no way of knowing how to continue. He had to take a few deep breaths when he felt his heart rate start to increase a bit - he had to keep his clam.
'Can't allow myself to get too worked up...' He thought wearily, bringing a hand up to his chest in an attempt to calm his beating heart. His health was beginning to make him feel at a disadvantage with his work - not to mention older than he actually was. Although he supposed it was normal for someone boarding their late 40s to start experiencing at least some health problems, especially if it's something that is genetic.
He leaned back into his chair a bit looking up at the ceiling, counting the little cracks there as he tried to figure out where he was going to go with this next. He brought a hand up and subconsciously stroked his beard a bit.
'Maybe I should take a small break...I've been working on this practically non-stop these last few days...' He frowned, 'Give myself some time to think about this...'
He looked back over to the computer and quickly saved the progress that he had made today before shutting it off. He noticed his heart still felt like it was pounding in his chest more so than usual - maybe he had forgotten to take his meds after all. He had been in a bit of a hurry to get here this morning to continue working.
"I should probably take some now; after all it's not too late..." He rubbed his left arm a bit, feeling a pain start to gather there for some reason. He walked away from the computer to a desk not to far away and opened up a drawer. He looked around for a moment when he noticed Zero was no longer in the room before reaching into the drawer and pulling out the spare bottle of medication he kept around just in case.
He quickly opened up the bottle and downed a couple of the little pills before tossing the bottle back into the drawer, slamming it shut. The pain in his arm had now spread to his back and a bit of his chest. A dreading feeling started to wash over him; maybe it was nothing serious though, just his body getting back at him for not taking his medication on him.
As he started, walking back to his desk the pain suddenly got very intense in his chest area and he found himself hunching over by his seat, keeping a hand on it to support himself as he gripped tightly at his chest.
He knew now what was wrong - he was having a heart attack. There was no mistaking it.
"Zero!" He cried out, he needed help; he couldn't get over to the phone to call an ambulance himself. It was so painful, "Zero get in here! Hurry!"
Newton could hear the sound of footsteps hurriedly approaching him and a hand rested gently on his shoulder as Zero knelt down next to him.
"Professor are you alright?" He asked.
"I'm having a heart attack...I need you to call an ambulance for me. Hurry." He ordered, looking at Zero with a pained and panicked stricken face, the pain was growing almost unbearable at this point. He watched Zero get up without a second thought and hurried to find the phone.
'God please don't let this be how it ends...' Newton thought desperately, he could feel his vision start to tunnel, 'Please...I can't die here...not until...not until I see him smile...please god...'
Newton started panting heavily as he found it harder and harder to breathe. The pain -oh god the pain. His heart felt like a drum, beating furiously in an attempt to keep it working. He started to feel so dizzy everything was a blur now.
"Zero..." He whispered in between the heavy pants, "I-I'm sorry Zero..." His body felt so heavy. The rolling chair he was leaning against eventually gave out on him and he fell to the floor. The impact knocked what little air was left in him out.
"Professor!" He could barely register Zero's voice at this point. He felt his body being rolled over into his back and he looked up at Zero's face. If it weren't for his hair color and shape, he wouldn't have been able to distinguish him from anyone else. His vision was that blurred.
"Professor I called an ambulance. They said they would be here as soon as possible." He spoke calmly. Newton managed the tiniest of smiles.
"T-Thank you for everything, Zero..." He whispered. He could feel it coming though. This was the end, "I'm sorry Zero..."
Zero looked down at Newton as he saw the man's eyes close slowly, his body relaxing somewhat, "Professor?" There was no response. The android reached a hand over and gingerly placed his fingers at Newton's neck. There was nothing, his pulse was gone. He then placed his other hand on Newton's chest and began pushing up and down, trying to resuscitate him, "Professor you have to hold on until the ambulance gets here!"
There was nothing, not a single response. Zero kept trying to resuscitate him by pumping his chest to get it started up again but it was to no avail. After a few minutes, he stopped and looked down at Newton's body, slowly reaching forward, his fingertips brushing against his cheek.
Suddenly Zero's chest began to feel strangely tight, his artificial heart beating fast, "Professor...you can't die." He whispered.
The sensation grew stronger and stronger inside of him. Zero considered he might be having a program malfunction. He felt something dripping down his cheeks and he brought his hand up, they felt wet. He looked down and noticed a few droplets of water on the floor.
"Am I crying...why am I crying...?" He asked himself.
It was beginning to grow so painful inside him, so empty. What was this sensation, this feeling.
"Professor...what is wrong with me?! There is something wrong with my programming professor!" Zero shouted even though he knew Newton could no longer hear him. The realization of this caused even more tears to fall down his cheeks.
He then remembered something Newton has told him, several months ago.
'What is it like to experience sadness?'
'Well...it's not a very nice feeling at all...the best way I could describe it is like feeling a small emptiness inside of you... When the heart spirals into a deep abyss...'
Zero sobbed, looking down at Newton's face, a few of his tears dripping down onto the man's cheeks. The feeling inside of him was so profound he could barely comprehend it. Was this sadness?
"P-Professor...is this w-what you described to me...because you were right...I-It's not a nice feeling at all!" Zero buried his face in his hands as he continued to sob, the tears just wouldn't stop, no matter how much he wanted them to.
He looked over at Newton after a minute and carefully lifted him up, hugging him tightly, burying his face into Newton's shoulder as he held the limp body as close as he could the way he was sitting.
"Please come back Professor...I'll...I'll miss you!" He cried desperately, "Please, you have to come back please!"
He could hear the door upstairs open but he didn't pay it much heed as he continued holding Newton, he did look up just a bit when he saw a couple of paramedics hurrying down, carrying a stretcher.
"Why didn't you get here sooner!?" He shouted as he looked over at the two men. He could feel another feeling mixing in with the sadness but he didn't know what it was.
"Are we...are we too late...?" One of them asked, looking over at Zero's crying face. They couldn't even tell that Zero was an android the way he cried.
"He's gone..." Zero whispered, looking down at Newton.
The two paramedics looked at each other for a moment before walking over to Zero and attempting to take Newton's body away. Zero looked up at them, a few more tears falling down his cheeks before he allowed them to take Newton away, watching as they lifted him onto the stretcher.
"We're deeply sorry..." One of them apologized as he covered up Newton's body before he and the other one lifted up the stretcher.
Zero didn't say anything, he just watched as the men turned around and disappeared up the stairs, taking Newton with them. As soon as they were out of sight Zero once again, found himself breaking down into tears.
"No please…come back…please come back…"
In the end the robot that was created to fill the empty void in Newton's life would inherit his loneliness, abandoned along with the lab he worked in.
And he never did learn how to smile, or even what happiness was.
All there was, was pure sadness.