Garfield's Holy Grail War
Garfield is relaxin in his vacation home in Fuyuki with his apprentice Kiritsugi when suddenly explosion is exploding outside.
"What could be this tragedies?" Said Garfield looking outside windows
"I do not know, let me go investigating" Said Kiritsigu with cautions.
Suddenly, Kiritsugi clutching his chest with pains.
"Aaaaaaargh, Garfield, I am die because of grail disease, you must be the one to save the city and protect my useless pitiful son Shirou with your manliness" said Kiritsugi with immediate.
"Ok Kiritsigu, I will respect your wish by winning the holy grail war and making sure your pity son does not dying" said Garfield with respect.
"I... believe in.. you... Garfield... Blargglglhfglhghl" said Kiritsigu with dramatic dyings.
"Farewell, wifebeater" said Garfield with sorrow and respect as he shot Kiritsigu multiple times with desert eagles to make sure he had quick passage to afterlife.
"Arghlbarglbarlgbaggbhurk" Said Kiritsugu with peaceful passing.
"Why did you killing my father" Said Shirou with surprise.
"He is already did." Said Garfield with explanation.
"But people die when they are killed!" Shouted Shirou with defiances.
"Very true." said Garfield very matter of factly as he shot Shirou in the head with desert eagle.
"Be careful about talk too much, it can give you headache" Said Garfield with deadly cool as he left useless boy behind and went into garage to grab refreshment.
Suddenly, beautiful but flat girl appeared from nowhere through magic with armor, and looked at Garfield.
"I ask of you: Are you my master?" Said girl with looking.
"I will show you who is the master." Said Garfield as he ripped off girl's clothing and carried her into bedroom for mana transfer.
"No, Garfield, I am sorry for thinking I can address you as anything less than god, please forgive me" Said Saber with apologies.
"Don't worry baby, I will forgive you if you can take my Sexcalibur" Said Garfield with casual cool.
After claiming victory over Saber, Garfield took his Excalibur as he was the true owner of it and flew off into the city.
"Haahahaha, look at that stupid cat, let us kill him, Bearserker" said pale girl with white hair as she commanded herculean huge man to fight.
"Raaaargh" Said Berserker with berserkness.
"You may have many lives but I need only one life to end all of yours" Said Garfield with calmness as he used conceptual attack to erase the concept of Berserker.
"Rargahargrhrh" Said Berserker with surprises as he disappeared from existences.
"Oh no, please do not hurt little girl like me, I am harmless" Said Illya with fears.
"Come back when you are older." Said Garfield like big brother as he threw Illya safely back to her mansion.
Garfield run to Temple Place, and encounter honorable assassin man.
"Greetings, you are have very powerful power presence. Duel with me and give my fake life meaning." Says Assassin.
"Very well." Said Garfield with honor. Garfield and Assassin began to walk towards each other.
"Tsubame Gaeshi!" Said Assassin with speed as he sliced at Garfield many times in single second.
"You are finished." Said Assassin with smug. However, when dust settled, Garfield was nowhere to be seen. "What?!" said Assassin with shocks.
"You are still novice. You must realize you are the swallow." Said Garfield with insight and wisdom.
"You are enlightened master." Said Assassin with acknowledgement as he commited seppuku and killed himself.
Garfield wept single manly tear before continuing.
When he enter temple, he find Caster, Rin, Archer, Rider, Sakura, Caster, Teacher Man and Lancer gathered to defeat him.
"He is too power, we must gather together to defeat him, but it is not like I like him or anything!" Said Rin with tsundereness.
"Fools, you are all still Servants, and I am master" Said Garfield as the enemy forces charged at him at once, using all their ultimate attacks.
Garfield, in one second, decapitate Archer, Lancer, and Teacher man, and unclothed all the girls.
"Now that annoying losers are out of way, I will give you what you really want" Said Garfield with flirtation as girls climbed onto him for pleasuring.
"I will penetrate you with my arrow like I am in the archer class." Said Garfield with quip.
Garfield made immense lovemaking that lasted for hours, and ground shook with his mighty loving that was beyond level of most powerful noble phantasm.
"Aaaaaah" Said girls in unison as climax of pleasuring was reached.
Garfield took out his chaingun and shot Rin to death, and Rider disappeared with life taken away by the burden of Garfield love.
"Worst girl does not need to exist." Said Garfield with truth.
"Garfield will you come back for me?" Said Sakura with pleading.
"Sure thing sugarcakes, when I return, I will give you one on one lesson." Said Garfield with promise.
Garfield began to go towards place of final confrontation where holy grail was.
"Hahaha, Garfield, you have finally come to place of finality. Yorokobe, shounen." Said Kotomine Kirei with cockiness.
Suddenly many noble phantasms shot at Garfield from out of nowheres, but they bounce off Garfield EX Rank Muscles like toothpick, and Garfield turn to see his old nemesis, Gilgamesh.
"Garfield, you are late to the party, and the beverage will be your blood, mongrel." Said Gilgamesh with kingly voice as he summoned thousand nobile fantasms to shoot at Garfield. However, Garfield uses his power to take control of noble phantasm and use them to implale Gilgamesh.
"B-akana..." Said Gilgamesh with disbeliefs as he died from impalation.
"Noooooooo!" Said Kirei with defeat as Garfield blew him into dust with one punch.
Suddenly monster rose from holy grail, but Garfield purified it with one touch, turning holy grail good again and turning it into Grail-chan.
"Garfield, please let me do the wishing this time. It is you that I wish for." Said Grail-chan to Garfields.
"I will show you that you that mage are wimp for thing, all you need is muscle." Said Garfield as he plowed Grail-chan. All the girls that Garfield saved went to his house, and Garfield saved America once again.
Continued to be...?
AN: Nasu, I know I already sent many emails, but if you have spot free for a writer, I am still free. I know you are a big fan of my writing.