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Read the notes below okayyy? x33333
Spur of the Moment
"I'm breaking up with you."
The teen stood absolutely still as he focused on keeping his blank eyes on the ground. He knew how his eyes might look like this very moment. Blank as it may appear, Neji knew that the other would surely notice something amiss in them. He always notices things about Neji.
He can't have him notice something now. No. Absolutely not.
Neji had decided to go through with this. He had decided to let go of all the pain and anxiety and all the tears and sleepless nights,; he had more than enough of the unexplainable possessiveness and sudden looseness, of jealousy and all the damn awful feeling that seemed to be one sided. He'd let go of everything. He's tired of being the only one who feels the way he felt.
He's sick of being so out of character.
He'll be the one to let go.
The one who'll do the hurting.
The one who'll break him.
He won't be the one crying in the end.
He'll definitely not be the one begging.
He'll show him.
It will serve him right for dating other people, for being with different girls and boys every day. For making him feel like dirt.
Neji will make him regret.
But… He still loves him so much that it hurts. He never hated feeling like dirt as long as he's beside him. And the brunet knows that once he lifts his gaze, once he stares into those green orbs, all the things he had decided to do will be lost.
"I'm sorry Gaara. I don't love you anymore."
There was that stabbing silence that Neji never enjoyed. It showed him how lonely his world truly is.
"When did we start going out?"
Neji looked up immediately, both shocked and badly hurt at the question.
Rusty, cold green eyes looked back at him. He can feel the stare of the pink haired girl beside the red head and he tried hard to keep up his face. "Gaara…"
"You took that seriously?" A smirked graced his ghostly face. "For a born genius, you sure are slow on jokes."
The brunet felt his hands shake. He hugged himself and avoided Gaara's gaze.
"Pfft." The girl sneered. "You actually thought he's serious?"
The other person – which was a guy – simply sighed. "Troublesome."
"What the hell Shika? Got a problem with me?" She half yelled. "It's not my fault this guy is such a loser. He can't even know the difference between a joke and a real relationship." She gripped Gaara's arm.
Gaara raised an eyebrow at the girl. Shikamaru simply shrugged.
Neji's eyes stung. He lowered his head to hide his eyes only to have Gaara raise it up with just a finger. "But isn't it cute…" He was a second away from crying. "…to see someone on the verge of tears?"
After they left him, Neji was the one left broken. He was the one who got hurt.
He was the one who cried in the end.
"Damn it."
"Neji. Nejii. Nejiii."
Neji blinked. He lifted his gaze from the book he was reading and was surprised to see the blonde Uzumaki's face near his. "What is it Uzumaki?"
"Stop reading already. Let's go to Ichiraku's Ramen!" He beamed.
"No."
"Come on Neji!"
"Why don't you bother your boyfriend Naruto?"
Naruto 'hm-ed' before sitting by the windowsill. He opened the window and let the cool breeze enter the ever so quiet room. "Well, I want you to cheer up so I'm taking you instead of that bastard."
Neji froze. He closed his book and sat back.
"You've been cranky all week long. Did something happen?"
"None that I know of," he lied and hoped that the idiot won't ask any more questions.
That's right. It's been a week since then.
He had tried hard to avoid the red head but there were times when his gaze simply moved on its own and watched Gaara's every movement. The other would always notice.
He always notices.
And he would just smirk at him. He never understood that though. Often times Neji would find him either having a detached smile or no smile at all; but every moment their eyes would meet and his lips would curve up, the Hyuuga could simply not feel the isolation of the other towards him.
It was as if, in a spur of a moment, Gaara wasn't treating him like dirt.
Like he wasn't cold to him.
Like he had it in him to truly care for Neji.
To smile only for him.
To look only at him.
To long only him.
In just a moment, it was as if Gaara wanted him. Loved him.
Neji shook his head. No. The reason why he thinks that way is because he believed the things Gaara used to tell him. He had just grown presumptuous to think that way. He's always like that. He's arrogant because he knew what the difference between reality and illusion is.
Unfortunately, his love made him delusional.
"Ah!" Naruto pointed, "See there! Stop making such a sad face! Sheesh! It's not you Neji!" He jumped to a stand and grabbed Neji on the wrist. "Come on, we're skipping class."
Just as Naruto went to open the door with his other hand, it slammed open on his face making him cry out in pain. His hold of Neji disappeared and he fell on his butt. "The hell!"
Kankuro and Temari stood behind the door. The two, especially Kankuro, teased Naruto nonstop earning a growl. "You guys suck! Seriously!"
"Ahhhh. You got a booboo? Poor Naruto."
Neji managed a small smile at the sight. The wind kept blowing behind them that he began to feel much better. His black* hair danced with the wind and caressed his skin; everything that was him was beginning to cool off.
Maybe he can forget. Just for this moment, maybe he can forget.
He wasn't sure if he can do it or not but he'll damn well try.
Naruto had spotted his vanishing sadness and smiled widely at him. He's lips automatically lifted up into a genuine smile. Hell, he may be deeply hurting but that doesn't mean that he'll be bitter. Neji can be a better person, his mood had already picked up from earlier; and all his pain was currently being washed away by the cool breeze.
"Will you get out of the way?"
Neji stiffened.
"Oh Gaara, how long have you been there?" Naruto asked.
The name caught Neji's attention and his head immediately jolted up. He regretted the action right after.
Gaara was looking at him with indifference. It made the Hyuuga ached so badly that he looked down on the tiled floor. He bit his lips to stop them from quivering.
With a soft "Excuse me," Neji quickly stepped out of the library and hurried down the hallway to find a quite place to try and not cry. He ignored Naruto's shouts.
A Month Later…
He found a hobby. Meditating.
And with that, Neji managed to figure out several things that was really obvious he didn't know why he hadn't noticed it from the very start.
He guessed he'd have to thank Hinata as well as Sai. Naruto too, he supposed. That idiot had continuously made him feel better while the former two had occupied his time with mind games and unconscious therapy.
The school bell signaled the end of his class and he packed his things. Slowly, Neji stood up and was about to exit the room when a bundle of people stopped him. He rolled his eyes and silently wished they would fuss around somewhere besides the front of the door.
Neji peered out, and his eyes skipped a beat.
Gaara was out there with the Sasuke and Itachi. They wore flashy clothes that made everyone fall head over heels in love. It's not every day you see the three most famous boys in the campus together. Something must be up.
He cursed.
The two of them didn't have a connection. They never did right from the start. They were the exact opposites.
His existence resembled Sasuke's and Itachi's. There always came admirers, not to mention haters, with his every step.
While Neji excelled only in academics and hated sports yet had done well in them because of his training, Gaara was born special. He didn't study but he always remained in the top three position, just below Sasuke. He never attended PE or done any practiced but he always had the spot light in basketball. He's a genius in pottery and a pro in sand art. But he never did anything to make him popular. He had the worst attitude.
Gaara's rotten inside and everyone knows that. He would wickedly smile at every person dump. He won't apologize. He'll just laugh at them right in the face.
Yet, Neji realized, he can't help but fall for him. He sighed.
It was a mistake. He reminded himself. Everything was just a spur of a moment.
He sat on one of the chairs and closed his eyes. And he fell asleep and dreamed of the first meeting they ever had. It all happened too fast for it to be true anyway.
It was freshmen night and Neji decided to skip it. He went out of the Sexy themed gymnasium to get some fresh air when something in the bushed caught his attention. Curiosity getting the best of him, Neji went to look what the source may be and was shocked to see Gaara and the slut Ino* making out; the two were engaged on a torrid kiss.
That was the first time Neji got to see Gaara.
Noticing the other's presence, the red head stopped to look up at the intruder. And then, out of the blue, he shoved Ino away and went to drag Neji away. His grip was tight that it made the brunet whimper.
"Let's have a drink." Gaara said in a monotone.
Neji simply look at Gaara's back; he let him dragged him away.
They had a lot of drink that Neji lost himself. It was his first time to ever drink alcohol, he wasn't even in the legal age yet it all seemed okay. Everything seemed perfect that he got carried away.
He felt like floating. He felt warm hands caressing him, fingers running in his hair. He was on a something soft, and he could feel something wetting his entire body. Then his body went hot as if a very high fever rested inside him, but that hotness wasn't painful…it felt perfect. Gentle and perfect.
The next day, Neji found himself on the same bed as Gaara.
"An…Neji?" Gaara uttered his green eyes visible even with those half opened lids. Slowly, he reached for Neji and softly ran his cold fingers on his neck. He said in a soft and almost loving tone, "You got tones of marks. It's beautiful."
After that night, they began to sleep together. He always looked forward to those nights because he didn't have the courage to come to him in public. He never talked to him whenever someone's around. Never.
But that was alright. They were together during the night so Neji managed to keep himself sane.
Gaara would kiss him and hold only him during the night. He would whisper sweet things to him and make him feel special. He would make him feel loved.
"We had sex because I love you."
"I love you Neji…"
"I love you…"
Some other times when Neji sat in the library reading books, Gaara would suddenly kiss him and say "Good morning." He would sit beside him and start hugging him regardless of the stare people are giving them. "You look beautiful, as always."
He'll flush and then tries to ignore him. He would look for someone to talk to but then Gaara would say, "Don't look at anyone when you're with me." His tone would be so low that Neji thought that he meant it in a very dangerous way. "You're not allowed to. I'll poke your eyes out."
Neji would just chuckle and take it as a joke.
Gaara was addicting.
Everything about him was addicting. And he was addicted. And not all addicts want to get cured.
But they were different.
Gaara wasn't faithful. He didn't know if he really did love Neji.
Gaara doesn't know how to love.
The brunet always saw him with another guy, or girl. He was always with another partner. Maybe Neji was at fault for not being entirely honest. He wanted Gaara. He wants him alone, but he always denied it. He kept his cold posture, his cool. He acted irritated when he really liked the things Gaara had done; he acted like he didn't want to when he really did wanted to. It was just hard for Neji.
He knew he'll break the moment he let the other know these kinds of things. So he kept silent.
He grew tired of this, and he kept quiet. Up to the very end, Neji kept quiet.
Neji blinked awake.
He rubbed his eyes to sweep the tears away. "Shit." How long was I asleep?
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"Huh?" Neji felt a pang of pain on his wrist and cried out "L-Let go!"
Gaara glowered at him. "You've been avoiding me."
"Leave me alone!"
He tightened his grip and pulled Neji out of his chair. "What have you been doing these past few days?" He slammed Neji on the wall and pinned him there. "Who do you hang around now?"
"Ga…" He gasped. "Gaara!"
Gaara had a weird look on his face. He didn't look like the withdrawn, silent Gaara Neji knew. His eyes were filled with rage and insanity that all the brunet could do was look away.
"Fuck." He began kissing and biting Neji's neck while rubbing his lower part with his knee. He felt Neji shudder and his legs gave up, Gaara let go of his hand and he slid down.
Licking a finger, Gaara smirked at him. He crouched down and kissed his lips.
Neji shoved him away. "No!"
Gaara didn't stop. Neji kept struggling, tears now forming his eyes. "Gaara! We're over!" He sobbed. "I don't want this! I don't want to feel this way anymore! Dammit Gaara!" His scream was so loud and clear that the red head fell on his butt. The Hyuuga was crying now. "Please, just leave me alone."
"I didn't know! I took it…I believed in everything you said!" Neji breathed out, "You're pillow talk! I believed in it…I believed every word was true!"
He didn't utter a word for a moment; when Neji had stood up and had turned his back on him, Gaara's sudden outburst shocked him "You're tired of me?"
Silently, Neji said "I…I don't want to fall deeper…I don't want to love you more than I already do…"
Warm, gentle familiar hands touched his shoulder and Neji was pulled back. "You can't live without me. You can't." He whispered "You know whom you belong to."
"Gaara, I'm begging you."
The red head let go of his shoulder. He walked and sat on the windowsill, and he ran his hand on his hair. Neji looked at him. The sun was already setting, and all he could see was Gaara's back.
It only happened in a spur of a moment. Nothing more.
Neji was about to walk away when he spoke again.
"I know you love me." He said, "Will you admit it to me this time?"
"Huh?" Neji blinked.
"Don't you love me? If you love me then tell me." His tone rose "Speak up! Tell me to be yours alone!"
"I…"
Irritated, Gaara slammed the tabled near him. He stood, his back faced Neji. "Tell me." There was no explaining the sudden outrage, logic just left Gaara and he punched the window. "FINE! So this is the end huh? Then go!"
"Gaara…"
"You can go!"
Neji stepped towards Gaara to close their space. He was shaking and his face was flushed, but he didn't care. Logic, too, had left him. "Gaara."
He rested his forehead on the end of his neck and carefully said the things he had longed to say. "Gaara. I…I love you. I want you. Gaara. Be mine alone. Please. Please. Please."
He felt him sigh. "You finally said it for me."
And in just a moment, their hands met, and entangled with each other.
"So you finally solved your issues Gaara?"
"Yeah." He said through his phone as he watched Neji sleep on his arms. "I guess I owe you one Sakura."
"Tsss. You used me jerk. That's cruel."
"I'm hanging up." Gaara threw his phone away and hugged the brunet closer. Eyes softening like it never did before, Sabaku no Gaara whispered in his beloved's ear words that were true to him from the very beginning. "Neji. I love you."
The Hyuuga nudged his head closer to the other's chest unconsciously. In his sleep, he was dreaming of the time they had first met. Of how in just a spur of a moment, he fell in love.
And how, in just a spur of a moment, Gaara knew his name.
* .com tells me that Neji has black hair.
* No offense to all Ino fans xDDDD
Author's Note: Oh my. I am so sorry guys who are reading Hide and Seek, I swear I already made Chapter o5 is almost done! Swear! I just needed to do this one because I promised someone I'll do this. Tee-hee. I apologize too because Neji and Gaara are a little (alright, scratch little there) off of their league. It's really hard to do this right when someone request lovey-dovey xDDDD. Geez. I really should stop being so darn nice, I should be reading some Yaoi right now. Wahaha.
Oh guysssss. I am currently addicted to GaaNeji pairing. Do you know any fanfics or doujinshi? Mind recommending it to me? Pleaseeeeeeeeee?
So anyway, just wanted you to know that this was a request. Plot taken from 'Tactics' in the 'Akuma wa Hohoemu' manga by Madarame Hiro. You people should read that, it's great. Read all her works! Wahahaha